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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #11991
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Punkin View Post
    Like I said, I have no idea what your experience was and is, but to denigrate the loving connection most of us have with our siblings is totally unfair. You should understand that your experience is yours alone.
    I don't think this was bachelorwatcher's intent. I *think* she was just stating that it would be hard for an only child to understand that a sibling relationship can be so contentious, because they don't understand the deep ties that siblings have and may also tend to assume sibling relationships are overwhelmingly positive.

    I happen to be an only child, but I have known both people who are very tight with their siblings and people who are rather indifferent to a sibling because of personality differences. I have definitely not known anyone with a relationship like the one bachelorwatcher has! I can imagine, though, that it would be extraordinarily upsetting to be stalked and harassed by a person and feel that you are stuck with no means to make the behavior stop. That is alarming whether the stalker is a sibling or not!

  2. #11992
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I did not mean to take away any legitimacy from batchelorwatcher's experience. But more than only I had questions about how this conflict came about and she/he just said they had already aired that whole grievance and did not want to reprise it. I'm only saying that one person's experience should not color an experience of siblings to someone without that experience. Most of us gain strength from those people who shared that growing up experience with us. I do not discount his/her personal experience as invalid just because I don't share it.
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  3. #11993
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by ClosetRTWatcher View Post
    I don't think this was bachelorwatcher's intent. I *think* she was just stating that it would be hard for an only child to understand that a sibling relationship can be so contentious, because they don't understand the deep ties that siblings have and may also tend to assume sibling relationships are overwhelmingly positive.

    I happen to be an only child, but I have known both people who are very tight with their siblings and people who are rather indifferent to a sibling because of personality differences. I have definitely not known anyone with a relationship like the one bachelorwatcher has! I can imagine, though, that it would be extraordinarily upsetting to be stalked and harassed by a person and feel that you are stuck with no means to make the behavior stop. That is alarming whether the stalker is a sibling or not!
    Thank you for your post.
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  4. #11994
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I guess I just get annoyed easily because lately a friend of mine has been ticking me off. She's picked up this passive-aggressive habit of telling me something someone else said to tell me things she knows are going to upset me. I don't remember what the first conversation was about because it was months ago but it was something Dr. Phil said. I remember at the time I finally cut her off after she'd been rambling for 5 or 10 minutes and said I don't care what Dr. Phil says, I don't agree. I felt a little bad at the time because I think it hurt her feelings but I just didn't want to hear more of it.

    Last night my friend called me and during the conversation she said "This is probably going to get you upset but..." and then she went on to tell me that her bus driver said there's scientific evidence that cats don't like humans.

    Now whether it's true or not, I don't know, but I hardly consider the bus driver an authority on the subject. Plus, if you have to preface a topic with "This is probably going to make you upset", maybe you should just keep it to yourself.

    I haven't discussed this matter with my friend because I wanted to think about it before I said something I regretted. I don't know if I even will discuss it with her. It might be best if she starts in on one of those stories to just say I'm not interested or change the subject and move on.

    I understand that sometimes friends have to bring up topics that might be sensitive or raise points they know you won't like if it's something for your own good, but I don't think the information about cats was something I needed to hear.

  5. #11995
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    ..and some "friends" just like to hear themselves talk and try to raise someone else's blood pressure!
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  6. #11996
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    #1: A true friend would not be looking to always upset you and you know that's what she's going to do by the way she phrases things. Put her on your back burner and keep moving.


    #2: I've never gotten along with any animal as well as I have gotten along with cats, so there to that! Why even waste your time listening to that rubbish; go with what you know.


    Know your own mind and pity the people who don't!
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  7. #11997
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thanks for not telling me I'm crazy to see it as some kind of jab! I am off my Wellbutrin so I thought maybe I was reading something into it that wasn't there.

  8. #11998
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'd listen to my body and mind and discuss anything you think your doctor may want to know. That's important anytime you take meds. That's for sure, however, there are some people who feel jealous or intimidated for some reason. Why they try to hurt others is beyond me.

    There are just some people who like to put their friends down. I had that happen with one of my friends a few years ago. She was super nice and kind to me, but then she would tell me about a conversation she had with a mutual friend. She would then tell me comments the mutual friend had made about me. She did it in a casual way, as if it wasn't a big deal. They weren't huge things, but just little digs, like this person said you had a really hot figure back then. Well, okay. So I gained a few pounds.....lol....You get what I'm saying. She was just trying to hurt my feelings, but do it by using someone else's words. I learned what she was all about and set her aside. It's sad, but she must have issues that I can't help her with.

    Later on, I grew to wonder if those comments were even true. I think she might have made them up. I'll never know. I did catch on that she lied about a lot of things not even relating to me. That's a big warning sign.

    Pikachu, has this friend lied about things that you are aware of?

  9. #11999
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I don't know if my friend has lied to me. I usually just let what she says go in one ear and out the other unless it's something I'm interested in. She tends to ramble on about a lot of topics I have no interest in. I let her do it because I don't know if she has anyone else to talk to and everyone needs some kind of outlet.

  10. #12000
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    First of all the friend getting her cat relationship advice from her bus driver is making me giggle.

    Second-If someone starts the conversation with, "This will probably make you mad..." You are completely justified in getting mad no matter what was said. Just like when someone says, "No offence intended but..." It doesn't matter what they say afterwards. The fact that they knew it would offend you and chose to say it anyways is offensive. That she knew it could make you mad but chose to say it anyways justifies your anger. Now to follow it up with something so silly like, "My bus driver says your cat doesn't like you." Makes me think she's "crazy".

    I have a theory. Once I came up with it, people stopped wearing on my nerves so much. My theory is that everyone is crazy. When I meet people I assume they aren't crazy. But once they do that one stupid thing that makes me think, "WTH?" I put them on the crazy list. Once they make the crazy list their points are no longer valid. Like no matter what they say about or to me, it bothers me not at all because they are obviously crazy and therefore anything they say is questioned. And I can't get mad because they're on the crazy list. Therefore I have to feel sorry for them. I have become a much more zen person since I've taken up this way of thinking. People bother me a lot less then they ever did.

    Another possible reason your friend does this to you is because she thinks you're smarter then her and she's trying to find things she can tell you you're wrong about. But I can guarantee that cats don't hate humans. My cat thinks I'm the bomb!
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