Talk about your troubles

[ArchieComic Fan]

Thank you for sharing. I wonder if she thinks she's trying to make amends with you but clearly her method is distressing and she should respect your boundaries until/if there is ever a time you will want her in your life again. Do you think she's physically dangerous or is she just an annoyance? Maybe another family member can talk to her and get her to stop.

[bachelorwatcher]

Thank you for sharing. I wonder if she thinks she's trying to make amends with you but clearly her method is distressing and she should respect your boundaries until/if there is ever a time you will want her in your life again. Do you think she's physically dangerous or is she just an annoyance? Maybe another family member can talk to her and get her to stop.

She is trying to control me. Also, she doesn't understand how harmful it is to abandon people.

[CantGetNuf]

My second grandson was due today. Wednesday my son and daughter in law went to the doctor and he couldn't hear a heartbeat. Michael Scott Wilcutt was delivered stillborn on Thursday. My family is absolutely devastated and heartbroken. Last night I finally started to feel the fog I've been stumbling around in since Wed start to lift. I have cried to the point I can't cry any more. My tears would just be sawdust. I hurt.

[cablejockey]

So sorry to hear of this loss in your family, Cantgetnuf. I cant even begin to imagine the crushing loss you all are going through.

[Eastcoastmom]

I am sorry to hear of your family's loss, Cantgetnuf. I can imagine how heartbroken all of you are.

[Punkin]

Oh no, oh no, oh no! You can rest your crying for a bit, sweetheart, because I am crying for you now. I wish I could help take that hurting away, but it's going to be around for a long while. There are just no words at all that can help, but my heart is breaking for your family. I am so very sorry and sad for your enormous loss. Words from us who are not in your RL may ring hollow because we can't call you or hug you, but it is all we have to give. I am so, so sorry.

[spockwhat]

CantGetNuf, I'm so so very sorry. Wishing you and your family all the strength you need as you hold each other up and close through your sorrow. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

[Lil Bit]

How horrible. You and your family have my deepest sympathy.

[CantGetNuf]

Thank you everyone for the kind words. And Punkin I know what you mean about online condolences ringing hollow but I don't feel that way at all. And they really do help. When I read about other peoples tragedies I do have a moment of sadness or sympathy for them and think, "Damn that sucks. I wish they didn't have to experience that." So when someone takes the time to actually express words of comfort I know they took my pain for that moment and made it theirs. And I thank all of you for it.
Right now the oppressing sadness has lifted but I just feel so out of it. Typing to people on facebook I have made a thousand errors that I normally would catch right away or not made at all. I have cared for dementia patients who could hold a thought better then I can right now. I get to the dining room and can't remember if I am hungry or heading to the bathroom. Then I just stand there for 10mins. My husband was my rock on Thurs and Fri during the worst of it. Yesterday it all hit him. He was going to go back to work but he couldn't. He said all of the emotion of it just hit him right then. I swear he walked around like a zombie the whole day. We have been together for 25yrs. Only one time have I ever seen him cry and that was for about thirty seconds after his father passed away. It broke my heart to see him that way.
It's hard to see my son have to go through this. I have never truly loved my daughter in law but my heart is breaking for her. They are both absolutely devastated. And as soon as they found out they had lost the baby the hospital starting asking about final arrangements. They were being given so much information so fast and most of it about expense and they weren't prepared for this. During the worst moment of my sons life he turned to me. When I saw the fear on top of the grief in his eyes all I could do was tell him, "You two decide what you want to do and we'll make it happen no matter what it costs." I had no idea how I was going to accomplish that. My cousin made a donation page and right away some of my geocaching friends made donations. I cannot tell you all how much that lifted me up. There really is such an "added burden" when going through this and having to worry about money. But when I saw the people I had always hoped would be there for me actually come through it was amazing!! I have been crying tears of sadness and joy for three days now. They decided to cremate Michael and the total cost of everything was far less then we thought it was going to be. We met our needs today. I still reposted the donation link and asked if they could to give just a little more to help with their everyday expenses since my son has missed a lot of work. But at least we have what we need to get Michael taken care of. That is just a huge blessing.
And of course we had the usual drama that surrounds any family tragedy. Brought to you by the redneck white trash that is my dil's family. From over medicated mother to totally whacked out of her mind grandmother and strange little man that was grandma's husband. You know how you say, "I wanted to slap her." But you didn't really, it was just the thought of doing it that brought you joy? I was sitting across from grandma when I just pictured myself walking over and bitch slapping her as hard as I could. And I almost got up. But I stopped and really assessed her and thought, "If you were 50lbs heavier and 20yrs younger I would be hurting you right now." Talking to my daughter and mother in law later it turns out grandma had no idea how many times her life was in danger that day.

The hospital staff was really great to my dil. She said everyone did all they could to help her. The training nurse was crying as she washed Michael and the dr went around the curtain to hide her tears. My only complaint with the hosp is that my dil was on the same floor same wing with all of the other moms. So she was taken to her room past all of the festive rooms with the pretty decorations. After Michael was born the baby next door was born and my dil had to listen to him as she held her own quiet baby. And just as I was walking into the room to see Michael for the first time the baby started crying and for just half a second reality left me and I had that second of joy immediately replaced with sadness when reality came back.
In the waiting room I was sitting with all of the other excited expectant grandparents. It was uncomfortable for me at first sitting quietly trying to hide my tears from them as I listened to their joy. Then it became uncomfortable for them when all of our family arrived and Michael was born and we were all crying and mourning. I know it really harshed their joy and I just thought it was an oversite of the hospital to not put us in different areas.
I have so much more to say but I'm sure I've rambled enough. Thanks everyone for listening to me.

[inthegarden]

CantGetNuf, my heart hurts for your family. I'm so very sorry. hugs.