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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #1181
    CCL
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    Climbing Solsbury Hill CCL's Avatar
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    Geekthegirl - that sucks. Good that you took action and learned from the experience, though. It could happen to anyone but it is still annoying and scary.

    JD - It is hard to see those we love messing up, I know. I hope everything works out.
    If you type "google" into google you can break the internet.

  2. #1182
    FORT Fogey Glitternerfball's Avatar
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    Here's one I didn't post yesterday because I didn't want it to be real and my gut told me everything would turn out okay.

    In the Peeves thread I talked about hosting a student this past weekend. She was 22, and meeting up with her group on Tuesday to stay with them and look at schools. Well, on Saturday she was going to a party with other people, she said she'd be out until the wee hours of the morning, and I said fine - just call me when you're on your way, blah blah blah. Well I woke up throughout the night and at 5 a.m. she still hadn't called or wasn't home. Then 9 a.m. rolls around - still nothing. So I'm a little worried and call her cell and it goes straight to voicemail. At 9:30 she calls saying she's standing outside my door. she tells me she snuck in through the security door downstairs and fell asleep on the bench in our courtyard, that somebody just woke her up. I tell her she is to CALL ME no matter the time, no matter what and never to sleep outside or sneak into the building grounds. That her behavior could harm her and get me in trouble with the landlord. She says okay and promptly falls asleep. So all is well sunday, then Monday rolls around. Again, she's leaving Tuesday and I have to go to work early and have late meetings. She says she wants to see the fireworks and then go see this DJ that's a friend of a friend of a friend. We go through the routine - you are in my house, you will call me and let me know what's going on, you will be back (she agrees on about 1 or 2 a.m.) etc. So when I wake up, I haven't received a phone call and she's not there. I call her cell - straight to voicemail. I check the courtyard - she's not there. I go to work, and call home and her cell every hour - nothing. I'm checking my messages constantly - nothing.

    Of course, I can't concentrate at work because I'm wondering what the hell happened to this girl. I look online and get the address of the nearest police station and decide I'll go after work - because she was foolish once, she'll do it again. After work but before the meeting I have to go to I run into a cop that's a somewhat aquataince and tell him what's going on. He tells me that that most they'll do is file an incidence report and that honestly, as she's not white/blonde/or from a known family not much will be done.

    At 6:30 p.m. she leaves a message on my machine asking when she can pick up her stuff. No nothing, just when can I get my stuff. So then I went from worried to mad. I decided to have a nice dinner, then called her around 8 to tell her I was on my way home. She says 'oh, I have something to do, I'll be there around midnight' I tell her no, 10 at the latest.

    I get home, and my annoying nosy old neighbor comes over upset because while I was at work this girl stuck into the building (again!) and decided to sleep in the hallway and apparently was beligerent with my neighbor and they had to get the super up there. She tells me I could get in trouble for this - I tell her it's not my fault someone snuck in and knows my name, but I apologize for what happened and wish I had thought to tell her she should have just called the police.

    So now I'm madder, call the kid (I don't care that there's only a few year age difference, she's acting like a kid) and tell her everything is in a garbage bag, here by ten or it's on the curb. At ten I put it on the curb, and she runs up. I walk inside, she runs inside and up to my apartment looking for her stuff - I tell her it's on the curb like I said. I included a letter saying how completely disrespectful she was to me as her host and my neighbors and not to come back to my apartment again.

    sorry for the novella here, but it was upsetting to me. I've hosted people before w/out a problem, and I've been hosted in people's homes a couple times and always show the utmost respect. This upset me, especially as visions of her being found in the river were going through my head around noon, knowing I had to get through 5 more hours and an after work meeting.

    And gut - glad to hear you made a decision that was right for you (might have been another thread), those cells are tricky.

    And to the rest of you , it seems to have been a tough week. It's sad that this thread is a good 10+ pages longer than the good news one.

  3. #1183
    Leave No Trace ADKLove's Avatar
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    JD - divorce is such a confusing time (as you know) and especially at such a young age. She's so young to be going through it, complicated by the young children. Hopefully Jessica can talk to her about running the risk of losing the children (or the possible difficulties in being awarded full custody if she's brought up on drunk driving charges) but she's going to do what she's going to do. No one wants to admit they're wrong - about their marriage or about their recklessness. The hardest thing about parenting is allowing children to make their own choices (even if they're bad ones). I know how much you love those babies, and I'm sure your daughter does to. I'll bet this is just a phase (sounds cliche, but its true) she's got to go through, and in time, she'll come back around.
    Last edited by ADKLove; 07-06-2005 at 11:40 AM.
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  4. #1184
    would rather be cruising! marybethp's Avatar
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    Wow - it's been a tough week around here:

    geek - don't feel stupid, it wasn't like you said "hey, hold my wallet and phone". It was a mistake and we ALL make them. You reacted quickly, so you sound like things will work out.

    GNB - how frustrating that you open your home to someone who's about as grateful as a fly. I'm glad she wasn't hurt and the situation is overwith. I hope it doesn't deter you in the future, because it sounds like you have had great experiences with it in the past.

    Gut - you are always on my mind and in my prayers. Arming yourself with information and surrounding yourself with support will help you make the best decisions.

    JD - Wow. I'm sorry that you are experiencing such pain. You can't change what has happened in the past, you can only affect the future. Don't feel guilty for the past - it will eat away at you. Remember Lori is only 21 years old (and no offense to you in that age range), but they think they know everything and really know about 1/10th of 1% of it all! I was an EXPERT at 21 and realized now even at only 36 I still have so so SO much to learn. They have to make their own decisions and own mistakes. Good luck dealing with it. Keep on keeping in touch with the babies any way you can. I'm glad you have the support of your family, regardless of if they want to actually talk about it. That's what we're for. Spill it out on paper (or screen!). It helps.

    is definitely needed for everyone around here! I'm counting my blessings this week

  5. #1185
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Glitter! What a story! I sure hope you're planning to let the group who sponsored her know all about it. In fact, I would request an apology from her through them. She needs to be held accountable for her actions. That just wasn't fair to you in any sense. Don't let it keep you from doing it again, though. You have the one bad apple out of the way.
    Count your blessings!

  6. #1186
    Culture slut geek the girl's Avatar
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    You know that expression "when it rains, it pours"? Never before has it been so true. So far, this week has been utter hell: First, I get pretty much everything of worth stolen. Then, I find out my little brother is heartbroken cause he and his girlfriend broke up. Now both those things seem pretty small compared to what's going on now: My little sister is stuck in London in the midst of what could be the worst terrorist attack since 9/11. I've spoken to her on the phone and she's fine, but scared. I'm glued to the television set watching news update, and when I'm not doing that, I'm surfing the Internet looking for news, each time dreading another attack. Man, this could well be the worst week of my life.
    "There's more to life than books, you know, but not much more" (Morrissey)

  7. #1187
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    Thanks everyone. I did send Lori another note apologizing for coming off like a crabby old mom. I was trying to be supportive, not demeaning. I still think everything my mom says is demeaning and I get defensive....so I do understand what she's going through. I reminded her of how proud I am of her and how I love to brag about her (no surprise around here!) - and what a great mom she is....etc. I hope I was able to clear some things up. I don't want to lose my kiddles. Why do our kids think we are all out to ruin their lives? It's the other way around - they are out to ruin ours!!!

  8. #1188
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    Actually, it's not either, JD. We all just want to live our lives autonomously, making our own decisions - even when those around us think we're nuts. I'm glad you wrote her a note. Remember that she came to you after the divorce was under way when you thought she was freezing you out, so maybe she just has a knee-jerk reaction with you, and will come around when she's had a chance to think about it. geek - keep us up-dated on your sister. The London attacks are scary. Meanwhile, try to find some center of calm. You've had a lot heaped on you this week. Pollyanna here, but try to look at the bright side of things. Count your blessings. I know that works for me every time. I'll be thinking of you.
    Count your blessings!

  9. #1189
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gutmutter
    Actually, it's not either, JD. We all just want to live our lives autonomously, making our own decisions - even when those around us think we're nuts.
    I know, it was just a little joke. My girls have been amazingly good kids - hardly a moments' trouble.

    I'm sure we'll get through this - just like everything else. It's nice to have this place to come to and vent.

  10. #1190
    Culture slut geek the girl's Avatar
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    Thank you for your kind words, Gut. I feel a lot calmer now, knowing that my baby sister is okay. She is (was?) supposed to fly to our summer home in Spain later today, where my fiancÚ and I will join her on Monday. I haven't seen her for over a month and have been looking forward to meeting her again more than words can express. The London airports are still open, and one of her colleagues have offered to take her there, so with a bit of luck, she'll be safe and sound with our parents later tonight. I just want her away from all the craziness, but at the same time I can't help but worry that the airports could be another possible target. I'll keep you all updated. And once again, thanks for thinking about me. I feel blessed that my sister is okay when so many others in London aren't, and I feel deeply for those who have been injured or worse.
    "There's more to life than books, you know, but not much more" (Morrissey)

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