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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #11881
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I've always waited a few seconds after a light has turned from red to green, and watched for some clown to come barreling through the intersection in a last minute move. I've never thought it was a good idea to try to be the first one to go after a light turns green. You just never know......
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  2. #11882
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Happens all the time in Raleigh. Makes me so mad. These drivers must have a suicide wish. It's not an accidental thing either. Most of the drivers blow through a red light all the time. It's common enough that everyone getting the green light just sits a few seconds, looks, waits, then goes.

  3. #11883
    Kip
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    It's scary to realize that inconsequential actions that make us a few seconds late or early can put us in harm's way or save us from death or injury.

    I've missed two deadly events by a couple of minutes. The one that sticks with me is an 8-mo pregnant woman driving to a routine check-up appointment. On an overhead curving ramp, a truck carrying large rocks went too fast, and the huge rocks fell onto her car on the freeway below. The only good thing was that she never knew what hit her and likely didn't suffer. If she had been a minute earlier or later to leave, she likely would be okay - but then it would have happened to someone else. Life's randomness is really disturbing.
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  4. #11884
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    So true Kip. It's happened to me a few times too. I'm not sure if anyone was killed, but in all cases, I was running a little late, got delayed in traffic, etc. Then just ahead of me the crashes happened. I actually saw two of them happen while sitting further back in traffic. Really upset me. In one I thought someone was killed as the jeep flipped over and landed upside down! Turned out there were no injuries! Scared me though. I was a witness and got out to give the police info, but was so shaken up, I could barely talk.

    Now, when I'm being held back in traffic, I try to take it in stride and realize that I may just need to take my time and hang back.

  5. #11885
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by inthegarden View Post
    I wish people understood how the decisions that they make concerning their lives effect the people who love them. I believe that they suffer from some type of mental illness that prevents them from seeing and responding to our care and love. I'm glad that you have sister's and that you can all support each other. Hugs to you Punkin and your family.
    As a recovering addict, please know that we do know exactly how our decisions are affecting the others in our lives. It is one of the things that destroys us and actually drives us farther into the addiction - because we also can't deal with feelings and guilt is the worst! Not intending a lecture at all - I just see this all the time (and am dealing with it currently with my mom), so if it helps at all, from the other side, please know that we do know and it kills us!

    Punkin, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can actually relate right now because of what is going on with my dad. I mentioned before he was in the hospital for low salt levels. He spent a week in the ICU, another week in the hospital in FL and he was just able to be transferred up here (to MI) yesterday. He is in the hospital up here and will most likely go into inpatient rehab. He still has a long road to recovery (looks like he also had a stroke). But I'm glad he's still here and still fighting.

    That being said, today I was so angry all day. See, ultimately what caused this is my dad's drinking (yes, I come by my alcoholism naturally, but I am recovering). To this day he still doesn't think he has a problem. All this happened because he just drank too much one time (in his mind - not true). And as a recovering alcoholic, I get the addiction side of this (vs. others in my family who just think he is selfish, unloving, etc.) The part I struggle with is that I know there is help and I know there is a way out - because I took it. But to take it, my dad has to get honest with himself. Maybe that will happen over the next few months. But my dad is almost 70 and he is an adult, so if he gets out of the hospital and decides he wants to keep drinking, I have to honor that decision - no matter how much I hate it or it angers me. What I can do is make sure he has all the facts. He can argue against arguments and pleas - he can't argue against facts. I won't allow him to stick his head in the sand and make a decision based on denial.

    Punkin, that was a really long-winded (I guess I needed to get it out) way to say I can relate. If your sister has some type of mental illness or addiction, then all the logic and rational thought in the world won't help. And I have learned that it is ok to be angry. I will still honor his ultimate decision - but that doesn't mean I have to like it or blow roses up his a@@!
    Punkin, famita, beerbelly and 6 others like this.

  6. #11886
    FORT Fogey Debb70's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    It's amazing how common of a problem this kind of thing is. I have a family member who is dealing with a mental health issue too. They are in denial, but at times will admit to certain things. I really want them to get help, but it's difficult. I suspect they will get very angry with me for pushing it, but it's getting out of control and making them and everyone around them miserable.

    I'm pretty sure all families are dysfunctional. Just kidding, but it appears in most of the ones I know of in some form or another.
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I talked to a lawyer at a law library. Once a week, the library has lawyers who give free legal advice. I told him about my stalker/control freak sister. I asked him if he had ever been stalked. He said "no." Then he said that he gets unwanted junk mail that he justs throws away.... but, junk mail is sent by a machine/computer. I don't thinks that's a valid comparison to being stalked. He said that there are people out there who are "really" being harassed, with constant death threats. I also talked to a legal aide. She told me that I wasn't in immediate danger, and said that I would be denied if I filed a restraining order. At the time that the once-a-week knocking on my door was going on, I was too rattled to file forms.

    There is a catergory on the restraining order forms titled, "abuse." One of the subcategories of abuse is "disturbing the peace." Twice the stalker has pounded on my front door. Once it was so loud, I thought she was going to break down the door... that's definitely disturbing the peace. After the most recent pounding on my front door, the knocking has decreased to about once every three months... but it could start up again, just as it has in the past. I guess I could see a family law lawyer about a no-contact/stay away order, but I would likely have to pay about $400.

  8. #11888
    FORT Fogey Punkin's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    batchelorwatcher, this is your own sister harassing/stalking you? Could other family members help to intervene? Perhaps you've talked about this here before and I didn't catch it.

  9. #11889
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Punkin View Post
    batchelorwatcher, this is your own sister harassing/stalking you? Could other family members help to intervene? Perhaps you've talked about this here before and I didn't catch it.
    I have talked about it before. Another sibling told the stalker/control freak where I live, and the name of my HMO. My relatives aren't helpful.
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  10. #11890
    Kip
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    bachelorwatcher, that sounds like a real dud of a lawyer you talked to. Try going to the free advice clinic a couple more times. There's probably a different lawyer there each week, and maybe you'll find one who's more on the ball and who understands your situation better.

    I'm glad your sister hasn't bothered you for a few months, but I imagine you're still on edge waiting for it to happen again. It must be horrible to not be able to truly relax in your own home.

    Do you have a phone with video capability? If so, if your sister should appear again and cause a ruckus, I'd start video-ing it. At first, just pick up the noise from the other side of the door, then from behind a window, try to get an image of her walking away to her vehicle. End the video with a shot of a web site like CNN that shows a date and headline (as a secondary way to date the video should verifying the date is ever an issue).

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