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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #11811
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Pikachu - my condolences on the loss of your grandmother. I'm sorry about your cousin's refusing to put you up - it must be awful to have the emotions generated by that on top of your grief.

    Maybe you can use the money you were going to spend for going to the funeral to visit your grandfather later. With not having to travel at a particular time, you'll probably be able to get some really cheap fares that might make a trip possible.

    It would have been nice if your cousin had called you. She might have told you no for reasons that wouldn't have mattered to you (a messy house, the fact that you'd have to sleep on the floor) - information that might have come out in a conversation.

  2. #11812
    Go Teams! inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Families can be so inconsiderate and selfish. I'm sorry pikachu.

  3. #11813
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'm very sorry for your loss pikachu.

  4. #11814
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I wonder if she understood that by turning you down it meant you wouldn't be able to come at all and if knowing that would have had a different outcome. Did you tell her you won't be coming now? She should be ashamed and owes you an apology.
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  5. #11815
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    My condolences pikachu.
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  6. #11816
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I have a feeling their change of mind had more to do with my sister than me. I called my sister yesterday to see if she knew about my cousin's message and it seems she's been having issues with my cousin and our uncle. I'm guessing they withdrew the offer to let us stay with them because of that rift.

    For what it's worth, I agree with my sister on the issues and if they're so petty to write me off along with her, I'm glad I'm not going to see them.

    I talked to my dad today and he is planning to have us go to the Keys for Thanksgiving this year. I'll try not to get too excited until we get confirmation, in case we can't get a campsite or if something comes up and we can't go, but that little glimmer of hope has done wonders for me.

    I'm also hoping that recent events will bring my sister and I closer. I plan to invite her and her husband out to dinner when they get back (they already were going to stay at a hotel in Iowa so they're still going to the funeral). Or maybe just my sister and I can go so we can hash things out. Right now I'm very grateful to have her on my side and really want to reestablish our relationship.

  7. #11817
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'm so sorry for your loss pikachu. I had a loss recently too.

    My husband died in Febuary. It was very sudden but not unexpected. I'd been his caregiver for the past 10 years. I brought the world to him and we built our place in this world together. We shared so much emotional intimacy together. He was always here when I came home from work. The house is empty now and I am completely lost without my baby. I don't have him to hold me, to kiss me and laugh with over all the silly things that life is.

    The past two years I've had several really hard losses. But he was always here to help me through them. My rock is gone. Now at 52 I have to completely change my life. My present is gone. I don't know if I have it in me to move on. I walk around in a complete fog. It is so hard to feel much, I'm afraid if I did feel the grief would swallow me.
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  8. #11818
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by livin4reality View Post
    I'm so sorry for your loss pikachu. I had a loss recently too.

    My husband died in Febuary. It was very sudden but not unexpected. I'd been his caregiver for the past 10 years. I brought the world to him and we built our place in this world together. We shared so much emotional intimacy together. He was always here when I came home from work. The house is empty now and I am completely lost without my baby. I don't have him to hold me, to kiss me and laugh with over all the silly things that life is.

    The past two years I've had several really hard losses. But he was always here to help me through them. My rock is gone. Now at 52 I have to completely change my life. My present is gone. I don't know if I have it in me to move on. I walk around in a complete fog. It is so hard to feel much, I'm afraid if I did feel the grief would swallow me.
    This broke my heart Livin4. Eventually you will heal enough that you can seek out friends and family. You are young enough that, In time, you will build a new life for yourself. And, don't be afraid to feel the grief. Healing can't really begin until you take some time to seriously grieve. I remember a week or so after my mothers death I came home and just left go. I cried, I screamed, I sobbed, I threw things...for hours. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, somehow I felt a little better. After that, every day I could feel myself coping better than the day before. The pain never goes completely away, but the day will come when it no longer dominates your life.
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  9. #11819
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    So very sorry for your terrible loss, livin4reality. I'm glad that you can share this with us and let us offer what comfort we can. You are still young and though you've lost such an important chapter of your life, there are other chapters to open up ahead. Give yourself time.
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  10. #11820
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Livin4reality, your story is so touching. I can't imagine what you are going through, and still you are here offering words of support to others. That is very special, IMO. I hope that with time you will feel better.
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