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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #1171
    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muduh
    I'm just sure that most of the women here would differ with you. I'll bet they agree with me that a cowering man is just a wonderful sight to see no matter what his age.
    Quote Originally Posted by sweetdreams
    It all depends on the reason why said man is whimpering..... It could be a very good thing.
    You people make me very verrrrry cautious! *backs out door S L O W L Y*
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

  2. #1172
    FORT Fogey Glitternerfball's Avatar
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    Gut - best of luck as you move forward, and I second CCL - never let the doctor bully you into further treatment. As someone that has worked in oncology for a while, I have seen many doctors push things because A: raises are dependent on the number of patients and types of treatments B: they are doing a paper C: They think only they are right, and of course D: They really care. Chemo is a difficult thing, no lie - and I have a friend dealing with a secondary cancer from it - but it gave her a much longer life span. Weigh all the positive and negatives, ask a LOT of questions, and talk to a counselor or social worker as well as the doctor. Also research the doctor to see where her/his interests lie.

    My prayers are with you!

  3. #1173
    _ pineapple's Avatar
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    Gut, like Jennifer said, don't feel bad for sharing. That's what this thread is for. I wish you the best of luck.

  4. #1174
    Culture slut geek the girl's Avatar
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    I know this is nothing compared to what Gutmutter is going through (you're still in my thoughts and prayers!), but still: Last night, when I was out in a bar with two girlfriends, my wallet and cell phone were stolen. A guy came up to me and seemingly tried to chat me up. While I was busy explaining how I wasn't interested, I was engaged and even if I wasn't I still wouldn't be interested and could he please get lost, he somehow got access to my purse and stole my wallet and phone. It wasn't until I wanted to call my fiancÚ I realized that several items in my purse had gone missing. By then, the thief was long gone, leaving me (ever so geeky) shocked and in tears. It wasn't the cash (about 50 bucks, so no biggie, although it's quite a bit of money if you're a student like me) or even the fact that the a**hole now has my ID and knows my full name and when I was born. I just felt violated and used. Not to mention stupid, for having my purse at such display. I mean, I've read about pickpockets; it just never happened to me. I spent the rest of the evening and the better portion of this morning making phone calls to the police, my card company, my cell phone company... It's such a hassle, but I know that it will be okay.

    The worst part is that he also got ahold of my keys. That's what I'm really concerned about: the potentially scary combination of my ID and the set of keys. We'll call a locksmith and have the locks changed later today, but I'm still be worried. Aaahh, the hassle! At least now I'll be more careful when I go out: I'll never keep my cash, keys and ID at the same place and I certainly won't feel bad about being rude to guys coming up to me. With a bit of luck, this will make me wiser. Heaven knows I could use some street smart to go with the book smart...

    Anyway, I just felt like ranting a bit. I'm off to the beach now. Hopefully, a bit of sunshine and friendly company will make me feel better. Fellow FORTers, let my clumsiness be a lesson to you all: Never lose sight of your purse, especially after a few drinks.
    "There's more to life than books, you know, but not much more" (Morrissey)

  5. #1175
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    I'm not so sure if this belongs in here or in the Parent/Child thread, so eeny meeny here I am.

    This is a toughie. I think I was tossed aside by my daughter today. (tuesday) Apparently since she and her husband split up (what, a week or two ago?), she has been living like a maniac. Dating, drinking, etc. I understand the feeling - I mean she's 21, two kids and has been married for four years. She's having her first taste of freedom. Yes, I understand, but no, I don't agree with her actions. The entire family is up in arms about her behavior, and we are all afraid TJ, the daddy, will take the kids from her. And rightfully so. Well, I was the only one who dared say anything - and I said, in what I thought was a caring way, that she really needs to do everything for those girls or she will lose them.

    I told her it was coming from me because I am the family member closest to making the same decisions she is making. I stunk as a mom. I'll feel guilty every hour of every day for the rest of my life for how awful I was. I cannot tell her enough I'm sorry. I didn't neglect them, I didn't lose them in court or any of that crap, but I wasn't near the mom I should have been.


    Her response, and this is just the pg version:

    I'm not like you and never will be. I'm sorry to say that but you have taught me what not to be. I would never follow in your footsteps.

    I am so confused by where your coming from, none of what your saying is true or makes sense to me. I talked to TJ last night, we're getting along great.

    I don't want to write you off, but you make it difficult to want to be around you.


    However the previous day Lori and TJ weren't speaking - and hated each other desperately. I can't keep up with them!

    It broke my heart. I forwarded the letter to Jessica (the older sister) who is ready to jump on the next plane up here and shake some sense into that girl. The thing is - the entire family feels this way, we all want her to chill out for a while. I suggested she take a break from the new boyfriend at least until her divorce papers are signed. I said if he really likes you, he'll wait. I met him over the weekend and seems like a nice enough guy. But she's still married! I tried to remind her how bad it hurt me when Bruce dated while we were married and it didn't even faze her - she's different, you know.

    My biggest concern is my grandbabies. I lost my daughter a long time ago (she wrote me off when she was about 13 - we've been rather distant compared to Jessica and me), but now she's taking my babies away. I can't lose my babies.

    Please, realize - I just had to get this out - I'm not looking for pity or sympathy or any of that. I talked to my mom, but emotion is not allowed in our family, so she tried to make light of it. (WWII generation) I talked to Lori's dad, too, and he says if he catches her drinking and driving he'll turn her in and let her spend the night in the drunk tank. I completely agree.

    She may "come around" eventually, but we'll never be mother and daughter. I pray she doesn't poison those babies against me.

    God, I'm pitiful. I'm not posting this.

  6. #1176
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    Geek, that stinks. It could happen to any of us, so don't feel stupid. You're doing the right thing by changing the locks. By the way, have you (or the police) tried calling the cell phone? Sometimes people are just dumb enough to actually answer...

  7. #1177
    Culture slut geek the girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferInCO
    Geek, that stinks. It could happen to any of us, so don't feel stupid. You're doing the right thing by changing the locks. By the way, have you (or the police) tried calling the cell phone? Sometimes people are just dumb enough to actually answer...
    I did call the cell phone right after I realized it was stolen. No answer, but I've heard of people who have been stupid enough to answer. I called the cell phone company and had the phone switched off so that the dumbass can't use it. My insurance will cover the expenses for a new phone, so no worries there. I feel quite proud of myself for having been so efficient, filing reports and all. I have a thing about phones - I don't like them, especially not when I have to talk to government agencies or phone companies - but managed to overcome my fears and make (almost) everything okay. I think I offically just became a grown-up
    "There's more to life than books, you know, but not much more" (Morrissey)

  8. #1178
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    Quote Originally Posted by geek the girl
    I have a thing about phones - I don't like them, especially not when I have to talk to government agencies or phone companies - but managed to overcome my fears and make (almost) everything okay. I think I offically just became a grown-up
    It's amazing how fast we grow up when we need to, isn't it? I'm the same way- I hate to make calls. Sounds like you did a good job and didn't panic.

  9. #1179
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geek the girl
    I did call the cell phone right after I realized it was stolen. No answer, but I've heard of people who have been stupid enough to answer. I called the cell phone company and had the phone switched off so that the dumbass can't use it. My insurance will cover the expenses for a new phone, so no worries there. I feel quite proud of myself for having been so efficient, filing reports and all. I have a thing about phones - I don't like them, especially not when I have to talk to government agencies or phone companies - but managed to overcome my fears and make (almost) everything okay. I think I offically just became a grown-up
    Get ahold of your bank and the credit agencies. Have a warning put on your credit report so no one can start an account in your name. I just had to do this as my info was stolan with my car.
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  10. #1180
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
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    JD - I know you said you don't want sympathy, but I want you to know you're in my thoughts. It is hard to watch a family member make bad choices. Maybe you could write her a brief note reminding her you are coming from a place of caring concern, not judgement. Let her know you will be there if she needs you.
    Count your blessings!

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