Pikachu, I don't have any advice to add beyond what others have said. I've been there too and it really sucks. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but I know that doesn't mean much when you are in it! Mostly I just wanted to respond that I feel for you and am thinking about you. I fully believe you are one of the good ones out there and there are good things in store for you. I know that doesn't necessarily help much, but I truly believe in karma and that the universe rights things in time. Some of my worst experiences - when I look back now on where I am today and how things could have gone differently if I didn't have those negative things - well, I can see the hidden blessing. Just a small example - I had a miscarriage. At the time, I wanted to be a mother so bad and it seemed like the worst thing that could happen. I was really angry because people all around me were getting pregnant. Three months later I got pregnant again and had my daughter. She is truly the light of my world . . . and if I had carried that first baby to term, I wouldn't have Kate, and I can't imagine my life without Kate. So while I will always mourn for the baby girl that I lost - things worked out in the end exactly the way they were supposed to for me.