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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #11571
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I totally agree about the heirloom furniture. That is a situation that is just looking for all kinds of ways to go wrong. Nobody's going to emotionally value your things like you do, and you shouldn't expect that of them. Bad idea.

    I'd think long and hard before putting somebody/ANYBODY into your home. I'd have Judge Judy on speed dial, and expect to get your feelings hurt! That includes family, too!
    just1paul and stacerace76 like this.
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  2. #11572
    Go Teams! inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    And roomers can be very hard to evict. Especially family members.
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  3. #11573
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I just want to reiterate, that my friend went through a community organization that has a wonderful "home sharing" program.

    I understand all the cautionary things ... but see it from the other side.
    The person looking for housing and a safe and secure environment is just as fearful as the person wanting to share their home.

    I think things like the heirloom furniture and care of it would have to be noted in the contract between you and a potential house guest or roommate. And there are a lot of different ways to do it. My friend used me as one of her references and I had to fill out a multi-page questionnaire.

    For example, one of the questions they asked me was if I needed a place to live ... state at least one thing that would hold you back from moving in with her.

    Before you decide it's not good idea ... contact a local organization that coordinates home sharing and see what they have to say.
    just1paul and AZChristian like this.
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  4. #11574
    FORT Fan stacerace76's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thanks for all the good tips Echo!


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  5. #11575
    FORT Fogey nennie's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    stacerace here is a roommates sharing site for OKC.

    Oklahoma City Roommates - Oklahoma City Roommate Service
    You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.

  6. #11576
    FORT Fan stacerace76's Avatar
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    Thanks Nennie! I almost forgot you are an Okie too :-)


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  7. #11577
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Lost a friend from school a couple of week's ago. I decided not to do any kind of remembrance for my son on the 21st because I knew her service would probably fall around the same time. Honestly, I didn't even feel up to doing anything for his day. I miss his laugh, his farts, his banter all the time. He was my late night buddy and he's no longer downstairs waiting for me to flick his ear or ruffle his hair. I think I've been in a coma of drinking for the whole year......makes things go away....but not healthy. I miss him every day. I have no idea how to exist or push forward without him. I'm surviving but not living anymore. I think I've kind of lost myself. When my mother passed I had him to take care of, he was my reason for existing............he's not here anymore and I'm struggling to find a purpose. My hubby and I are existing, but not living. I think it is time we live but I'm not sure how. These group grieving things make me feel like I have to help them, not myself. It's a rabbit hole...........where's the magic potion?
    Yup, with donuts!!

  8. #11578
    Lux et Veritas chrisg's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Cootie and I were just thinking about you and Bunny earlier, Bug, and I couldn't sleep and here you are. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend and I think that you've suffered such a tremendous loss with Victor that there is very little knowing how to go on except that I do think reaching out is incredibly important which is what you're doing.

    It sounds like group therapy may not be for you but have you thought about individual therapy? Or maybe a therapist that you and your husband could both go to to work toward a path that moves beyond existing at a pace you feel comfortable with? I also think it's really important that you not be too hard on yourself or judge yourself harshly right now because that is the last thing that you need or deserve.

    I also strongly feel like I can feel Victor's spirit with you just by looking at that photo and have the intuitive feeling there is something specific in the strength of his spirit that may help you push forward in a more concrete way. Hopefully that will make some sort of sense in a more specific way at some point.
    Cootie likes this.
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  9. #11579
    FORT Fogey Lizard's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I am sorry Buglover. He is with you. He would not want you to suffer so. I lost a sister at a young age. For a year I was thin from the stress of it.
    You can do it!

  10. #11580
    FORT Fogey Lil Bit's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Buglover - I can't even begin to imagine what you've gone through. I agree with chrisg about maybe talking to an individual counselor if you think that is something that would help you. Sending big hugs your way.
    History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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