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  1. #11551
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by stacerace76 View Post
    I'm sorry you're having a hard time Johnny And me going on and on about my own problems. At least I'm fairly happy otherwise. I've dealt with depression in the past so I understand what it's like. I hope things get better for you.


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    It's ok. and I'm sorry for quickly disregarding your last post.

    Johnny K - do you have things that have worked in the past at alleviating your depression? Laughter helps a lot of people - watch a funny movie or youtube clips (did you see the one about the New Zealand guys who hooked all of their friend's faucets in his house to flow with beer instead of water?). I don't know much about your history - have you ever seen a doctor about your recurring depression to check for chemical/hormonal imbalances or food issues? On youtube, search for "food hospital depression" - it's an episode where they use diet to cure a woman's depression. I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone with depression, but it might be worth a try. You're such a bright, clever young man - I'm sorry you're suffering with this.
    I have a therapist, I am on meds, but they're still not stopping me from making anyone I have feelings for feel completely uncomfortable around me. It's been that way my whole life. I get attached way too fast. It's been happening for almost 10 years now. It isn't changing. I don't know how I can learn to change. That's why I felt so bad today. Because it happened again.

  2. #11552
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Johnny .... I hope you will feel better soon. I don't know what the answer is and I really wish I did. I hope you have a therapist who is helpful ... that is who really helps you. Please watch with the meds ... and be sure to talk to your therapist before modifying ... increasing, decreasing or adding any new ... meds and no alcohol. Sorry to preach ... but someone I know was feeling better and decided to drastically reduce meds and is now trying to get "balanced" again and having a really difficult time.

    If there is an appropriate group ... ask your therapist to get you included. You are not alone. :hugs
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    stacerace76 ... It seems to me that the pay increase was the reason you accepted the "remote" job. I think you were promised that raise if you took a job that sounds like it has more responsibilities. So ... you don't want to jeopardize your employment, but may want to write a letter describing the circumstances ... and see if corporate might be willing to consider meeting you half way .... maybe $15.50 -$16 per hour. You should also be entitled to reimbursement for your travel on a per mile basis for gas and vehicle "depreciation" .... and 3 hours each way is 6 hours and you should be paid for that travel time if your driving was outside normal working hours.

    I think these people took advantage of you. i'm no lawyer ... but perhaps there is someone or an organization that will give you some advice pro-bono on the phone. I don't think they can give you a raise and then take it away without giving you other options. Corporate's "misunderstanding" of the terms of the new position is someone else's mistake and you shouldn't have to suffer for it.

    At the very least ... and before you forget ... document all this in a notebook. Dates, times, who said what, etc.

    Keep us posted.
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

    " The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated. "
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  4. #11554
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyK View Post
    It's ok. and I'm sorry for quickly disregarding your last post.



    I have a therapist, I am on meds, but they're still not stopping me from making anyone I have feelings for feel completely uncomfortable around me. It's been that way my whole life. I get attached way too fast. It's been happening for almost 10 years now. It isn't changing. I don't know how I can learn to change. That's why I felt so bad today. Because it happened again.
    It's okay Johnny. I didn't take it that way. I tend to make men I'm interested in uncomfortable because they're not interested or attracted me and I have trouble hiding my feelings. Or even men I'm not interested in because they automatically assume that because I have a flirty personality (I flirt with everyone. Men. Women. No one's safe lol!) and because I'm a fat girl I must want them and I must be desperate. So I'm totally with you on that one. I wish I could help you with it but I'm so bad about that myself. That's why I choose to hang out with gay men. It's like having a boyfriend without all the complications and sexual tension. I can just be me without having to be worried if he wants me or not because I know he doesn't. I know that doesn't really help you but sometimes it helps to know that someone else has been there and understands.


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  5. #11555
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by echo226 View Post
    stacerace76 ... It seems to me that the pay increase was the reason you accepted the "remote" job. I think you were promised that raise if you took a job that sounds like it has more responsibilities. So ... you don't want to jeopardize your employment, but may want to write a letter describing the circumstances ... and see if corporate might be willing to consider meeting you half way .... maybe $15.50 -$16 per hour. You should also be entitled to reimbursement for your travel on a per mile basis for gas and vehicle "depreciation" .... and 3 hours each way is 6 hours and you should be paid for that travel time if your driving was outside normal working hours.

    I think these people took advantage of you. i'm no lawyer ... but perhaps there is someone or an organization that will give you some advice pro-bono on the phone. I don't think they can give you a raise and then take it away without giving you other options. Corporate's "misunderstanding" of the terms of the new position is someone else's mistake and you shouldn't have to suffer for it.

    At the very least ... and before you forget ... document all this in a notebook. Dates, times, who said what, etc.

    Keep us posted.
    Thanks Echo. Actually, they did reimburse me in full both times I went down there. It was just a pain having to pay upfront. I have always been interested in training so I plan to email the training manager for our region on Monday to see what I can do to get on track for a training position. I'm sure that would be a salary position and more than I make now. I'd probably have to move out of state though. Which would be okay. I don't know what I'd so about my house if I had to move but my family would get over it. I'd kind if hate missing my niece and nephew's high school experience though. My niece is a freshman and my nephew's a 6th grader. She's a cheerleader and I've enjoyed going to my alma mater's football games to watch her cheer. Last night was homecoming and she had all the "good kids" that didn't want to go to the dance (twerking has become a problem and makes them uncomfortable) over after the game and I helped my sister with snack and stuff. It makes me feel good to see her having fun.


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  6. #11556
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by stacerace76 View Post
    It's okay Johnny. I didn't take it that way. I tend to make men I'm interested in uncomfortable because they're not interested or attracted me and I have trouble hiding my feelings. Or even men I'm not interested in because they automatically assume that because I have a flirty personality (I flirt with everyone. Men. Women. No one's safe lol!) and because I'm a fat girl I must want them and I must be desperate. So I'm totally with you on that one. I wish I could help you with it but I'm so bad about that myself. That's why I choose to hang out with gay men. It's like having a boyfriend without all the complications and sexual tension. I can just be me without having to be worried if he wants me or not because I know he doesn't. I know that doesn't really help you but sometimes it helps to know that someone else has been there and understands.


    ♫~Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ~♫Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ♫~Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ~♫
    ~* stacerace76 *~
    ♫~Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ~♫Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ♫~Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ~♫

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Thanks. I'm not too thin either. I'm around 230 pounds now and I'm around 6'1''.

    But when I was 15 and younger I wasn't. Yet I still had the same problems.

    What I usually tend to do is, like I said, get attracted and too attached easily to people. Then what my normal thing to do is that I try to tell them that I'll be there for them whenever they need me. And this usually comes off as awkward to them. I try being nice, maybe too nice.

    Then sometimes when I feel rejected I kind of, get upset and blame them for me feeling that way.

    I've been posting a lot about some other person a while ago on here. It's not quite that bad just yet, but it's somewhat similar.

  7. #11557
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    stacerace - Sorry to hear about your problems. It all sounds really frustrating. I'm going to brainstorm some ideas, most of which will probably be totally off base, not knowing your full situation. Why did you get a new car? Maybe I misread that and it wasn't "new" new. Can you opt out and get something used? Is there any way you could live with your parents until you're back on your feet? Would your parents be willing to take your dog temporarily? That would get you out from under that expense and free you up for some part-time work to catch you up and maybe give you a financial buffer. Is it possible to go to the supervisor who mismanaged your "promotion" and explain that the new case load is not commensurate with the small increase in pay which is why you agreed to it? Maybe they could at least lighten your load so you aren't feeling so stressed.
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  8. #11558
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyK View Post
    Thanks. I'm not too thin either. I'm around 230 pounds now and I'm around 6'1''.

    But when I was 15 and younger I wasn't. Yet I still had the same problems.

    What I usually tend to do is, like I said, get attracted and too attached easily to people. Then what my normal thing to do is that I try to tell them that I'll be there for them whenever they need me. And this usually comes off as awkward to them. I try being nice, maybe too nice.

    Then sometimes when I feel rejected I kind of, get upset and blame them for me feeling that way.

    I've been posting a lot about some other person a while ago on here. It's not quite that bad just yet, but it's somewhat similar.
    Johnny I think you may need to make rules for yourself to avoid anxiety situations. Like maybe call a girl only once. And do other activities in the meantime. The call once rule to me is good. A lot of girls your age are not sure where they are going. And maybe those are the ones you are around.

    It really takes time to learn about someone. If they are making you feel anxious and not better about yourself for prolong periods they really are not good for you.

    You are not trying to use women for sex I hope. That can turn women off bad.

    I think you may need to join a group like chess players or ballroom dancers to absorb good energy of other people.
    You can do it!

  9. #11559
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Lizard View Post
    Johnny I think you may need to make rules for yourself to avoid anxiety situations. Like maybe call a girl only once. And do other activities in the meantime. The call once rule to me is good. A lot of girls your age are not sure where they are going. And maybe those are the ones you are around.
    I don't call anyone. It's all through text.

    I have things I usually like to do but when I feel as bad as I did yesterday then I can't even get myself to do those things.

    You are not trying to use women for sex I hope. That can turn women off bad.
    No.

    I'm overly desperate, that's all. I have been for a long time.

  10. #11560
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Debb70 - I'm probably close to your parents' age. We live in a senior adult community, and I've always been very safety-conscious. We have a security door that locks with a deadbolt which has to be opened in addition to our front door. So I can open the front door to see or talk to people, but no one can get in unless I unlock the security door. And unless it's someone I'm expecting, that door does NOT get unlocked. I would also have a "No Solicitors" sign if that was an issue. (There's one outside of our community entrances, so we don't get door-to-door salesmen.) If someone does knock on your door, you can just point to the sign, say "Have a nice day," and close the door in their faces.

    Stacerace - Another option that I didn't see recommended. Since you have your own home, would you consider renting out a room? If you do that, be sure to have a good lease and a list of rules that the renter has to agree to. None of the options are ideal, but in this economy, lots of us have to do things and make choices we'd rather not have to.

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