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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #11361
    Live-Love-Laugh Fanny Mare's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by bachelorwatcher View Post
    I read about someone who was stalked, didn't show up for the proceedings to get a restraining order, and was granted a restraining order... but, she had an attorney. I don't have the money for an attorney. I think if I filled out the forms, then didn't show up for the proceedings, they might throw the case out. My sister hasn't been harassing me as much as usual... she "just" occasionally shows up at 6 or 7 on Sunday morning and knocks on my door. She has pounded on my front door. (I was concerned that she would break the door down).
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  2. #11362
    Kip
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Lizard - {{{hugs}}}. Wish the best for you in this difficult time. Even when we know it's the right decision to end a relationship, it's often still hard as we mourn the loss of what we had hoped the relationship would be.

    Bachelorwatcher - are there any free or low-cost legal clinics in your city? Even though you don't want to go to court for the restraining order, perhaps you should so that police will respond in the future. Do you have friends or family who could go with you to court for moral support?
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  3. #11363
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I called Legal Aid and found out it was just for criminal cases. To get a restraining order, people are supposed to represent themselves in court.

  4. #11364
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    "I can't stand the sight of my sister," is no good reason to allow her to bully and to continue control you; you are giving her exactly what she wants....power. Crazies and harassers LOVE that; that's even more reason to continue her behavior. I guess you have to make the decision if accepting her behavior is worth the inaction. You say you CANNOT afford an attorney; can you really afford NOT to hire an attorney? When I think of all of the money that I throw away on piddly b.s., I can usually find a way even if it means doing without some non-essential things for a while. Not all attorneys, necessarily, cost an arm and a leg; different attorneys charge different fees. You've got to shop around, if you are serious.
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  5. #11365
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Keep a record of each incident of stalking. Whether it be in person, by phone or by mail. That way, if (when) you need to get a restraining order you will have the evidence to back up your claims. In many states stalking is a criminal offense.
    Last edited by Photobabe; 07-29-2013 at 09:31 AM.
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  6. #11366
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I saved all of my mail which states when the stalker will knock on my front door.

  7. #11367
    FORT Fogey Air Blobs Easy Champion inthegarden's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Lizard, I'm sorry that you are going through a divorce. I know that you want to remain friends with your soon to be ex but don't sacrifice your well-being just to remain friends. There is always so much hurt on both sides, that sometime friendship has to come at a later time after you both have healed. Keeping you in my thoughts.


    bachelorwatcher, Can you call a neighbor or friend to come over before you open your door? It might be best to have someone with you whenever you are around your sister.
    Last edited by inthegarden; 07-29-2013 at 01:25 PM.

  8. #11368
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I could be wrong, but I hardly think it's a good idea to bring in an innocent outsider into the stalker's range. Before I did that, I think I would move and leave NO forwarding address....with ANYBODY. Tell family you will see them when the coast is clear.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  9. #11369
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Lizard, sorry for your heartbreak. It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought though.

    Bachelorwatcher, I would get a full legal consultation. Relying on what someone tells you if they are not fully knowledgable on those types of matters, can be dangerous. Taking legal steps without legal representation can also be risky.

    Also, be careful of taking legal advice from police officers. They often do not know what they talking about and may give you incorrect information. Be careful of what lay people tell you too. Beware.
    Last edited by Debb70; 07-29-2013 at 02:19 PM.
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  10. #11370
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by bachelorwatcher View Post
    My older sister is a stalker/control freak/narcissist. When I lived in a suburban city, the police would show up and deal with her. Where I live now, they won't. I live in a medium-size city. There is a task force to deal with gangs: that's what they spend their money on. When I went to the police station to fill out a report, the front desk told me to get a restraining order. She seemed annoyed: she wouldn't let me fill out a report. But, to get a restraining order, I would have to show up for the proceedings... and I don't want to: I can't stand the sight of my sister. So I didn't fill out a restraining order.
    I think I'd have asked for the desk officer's supervisor. It seems that those reports might be important to support your request for a restraining order.

    And think of it this way . . . time spent in a courtroom having to see your sister is an investment in your future peace. Sometimes we have to spend something to get something back. And sometimes the initial "spending" isn't easy or fun, but it can still be important.
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