Talk about your troubles

[Amanda]

Originally Posted by Puck

J.D. - Okay, I'll ammend my first post to "no girls prioritize the nice guy first". What's the saying "nice guys finish last?". I disagree. Nice guys don't finish last....they don't even finish.

Oh, and I'm 30 year old, so my time is ticking...tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. I'm not going to waste my years away waiting for women to learn the value of the nice guy (for more than friendship). Funny though...that's all I've been doing. All good things to those who wait. I'm sure I'll find someone in due time. Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!



(i'll consider an avatar change---maybe)

Well, I'll tell you what. I don't presume to speak for anyone other than myself, but I've seen this sort of defeatist attitude turn itself into a self-fulfilling prophecy more than a few times. It's so easy to categorize people into these neat little groups, and when you can put the blame on all women for "not being interested in the nice guys", it just gives you an excuse to fail. Sorry, but that's the truth. There are as many women out there looking for a genuinely nice man as there are women who are supposedly attracted to the "bad boys". And to be honest, just the phrase "bad boys" makes my skin crawl. Not because I like vanilla, boring types, but because it's all so high school that I can barely see straight.

The fact of the matter is that some degree of confidence in who you are as a human being is hugely attractive to almost everyone. If you walk around throwing a constant pity party for yourself, why would anyone want to get involved with that? If you're the nice guy, be the nice guy. Be proud of being the nice guy, and don't bemoan that fact. You're digging your own grave with your current attitude, and I can pretty much guarantee that until you stop looking to place blame somewhere, you'll continue to be alone.

Of course, that's just my opinion. Do whatever feels right for you.

[Google]

 

[KymberlyAnn]

There are as many women out there looking for a genuinely nice man as there are women who are supposedly attracted to the "bad boys".

Amen! It's very tough this day and age to be single. I've been looking for a nice one, however I seem to be flypaper for jerks. Apparently, the right one is out there for everyone.

[nlmcp]

Originally Posted by ineedalife

Here's one to you Nancy. I thought you were a match made in heaven from the time I read about the driveway troubles.

I haven't made any formal announcements on here myself, but in honor of the thread and putting this *crap* behind me, I'm in the midst of a divorce myself and it's unfortunately taking longer than I wanted/expected. It's a roller coaster, but I know at the end of the ride, I will feel exhilerated. Chin up girlfriend. You took the hard first step.

Wow ineeda sorry to hear you are going through this too. But, it's one of those things you have to get through to make life better I guess. Each day, I'm finding little things that prove that I made the right decision. (like after agreeing to do this civilly for the kids, he turns around and takes well over $2,000 out of the joint checking and doesn't bother to pay the mortgage and most of the other bills are 2 months behind after promising me faithfully that he would keep up the bills while we work this out.) Oh well, live and learn and call the attorney.
Of course then, I'm told that I'm being unreasonable by soon to be ex.

[nlmcp]

Originally Posted by Puck

No girl appreciates the "nice guy". That's the story of my life.

Maybe you need to reconsider the type of girls you are going after.

I noticed with a friend of mine who has been saying the same thing for decades, that he likes to chase after the drama queens, biker chicks or party girls. I've tried and a few other friends have tried to fix him up with a "nice girl" and he isn't interested. He likes that drama and the problems and can't figure out why they don't want to settle down with a nice guy who is a competer geek and completely safe.

I'm not saying that is your problem, but that is what I've watched this other guy do for years and for years he has said the same thing "women don't want a nice guy"
*cough*b*lls*t*cough*

[Pansygirl]

My husband thinks we have a slab/foundation leak ......and he is like

This problem seems so small ......but I guess I just need to talk about it.......
First off we had a problem with the kids tub faucet dripping for three years which eventually turned into a trickle and then a stream.........and finally my husband decided to fix it.........that was only a couple of weeks ago!..

and then about a week ago he said he was hearing water running late at night.......and he asked me did I hear it......well he's asking the wrong person........(I have trouble hearing) so I say no.........So he tells me (get this)go listen real closely at the kids bathroom faucet and see if you hear water running.......(like putting my ear to a seashell........like nothing's there......) But he is sure there is something wrong......so over the course of the week he checks all water sources and can't find the leak........so now after only a week he calls the plumber who is coming out today...........
and silly me complains why is he so quick about this water situation that I can't even see when it took 3 yrs to fix the tub faucet! And he grow 's 3 heads and says the water could be leaking under the foundation!
anyway thanks for listening............I feel better........

[Igotalife]

Pansygirl-I assume your husband checked the meter to see if it was spinning? Also, I am sure that there would be other signs of a leak-it doesn't take long for water to find its way out as it travels the path of least resistance. Good luck though.

And Nlmcp-PM me if ever need to vent You'll get through this just fine.

[Pansygirl]

yes ineedalife the meter is spinning..... My husband generally tries to fix things himself , sometimes I just want new stuff.......
but yes he exhausted all the possibilities before calling the plumber.....
I'm still trying to look on the bright side but then this morning he said to look in the homeowners policy to see how to file a claim........ and I wanted to say ahhhh what for?

[Dinahann]

Oh man, so many troubles. to each of you with sorrow in your life.

Famita, your advice was lovely and timely. My sister and I had a running feud for years, and only made up the night before she died a very bizarre accidental death. I had made dinner for her, her husband and their 3 kids. She hugged me and told me she loved me. Afterward it took my breath away, all the years I had argued with her and felt superior, and NONE of it could be taken back. She left 3 children behind - 2 1/2, 1 1/2 and six months old. She was 23. The thing I took away from that is what you're saying - think about what's really important, and how much will seem laughable a few years down the road. I would give anything to be able to take away the harsh words and replace them with love.

I was going to write about a conflict with a co worker and the argument I had with my daughter last night on the telephone, but after coming here and seeing all the real tragedies my problems seem small and petty. Thank you, fellow FoRTers, for helping me put things into perspective!

[Muduh]

Originally Posted by Pansygirl

yes ineedalife the meter is spinning..... My husband generally tries to fix things himself , sometimes I just want new stuff.......
but yes he exhausted all the possibilities before calling the plumber.....
I'm still trying to look on the bright side but then this morning he said to look in the homeowners policy to see how to file a claim........ and I wanted to say ahhhh what for?

If by chance you husband is adopted, I think I can give you a lead on his parentage. Try a small west Tennessee town. Just ask for Mr. and Mrs. Knowitall. They are also my husbands parents. The gene is passed down. This genius thinks he is up to any task. There are many, many that he is good at. Several he is not. He doesn't know where the line is. I unfortunately could tell him. Let's start with the commode that DID leak occasionally. You know when you have to juggle the handle? We don't have to do that anymore. Just wait around for a while and that sucker will literally flush itself. When alone in the house, late at night and a commode on the other end of the house flushes, what should you do first? Wipe up the puddle you just made in the floor? Get the gun? Pretend it didn't happen? I usually run for the computer so I can settle my nerves at Fort.
I love the claim filing thing. These two just must be related. Never accept a mole hill when you can make a mountain out if it. I've forgotten how long you've lived in your house, but I can tell you with reasonable certainty that if you've been there for a few years and don't have a noticable slew, bog, whatever in your yard somewhere you probably can discount the leak under the slab theory. Unless the house was built on a cistern or something similar, where would the water be going? I just love the part with your ear to the faucet. I have the picture in my mind, except it's my ear and faucet. I wouldn't panic quite yet. Wait till you get the plumbers bill......Panic time!!!

[Pansygirl]

Muduh the above had me