Talk about your troubles

I am sorry Gutmtter. I understand how your son feels. Being far away when a loved one is ill, is very hard.

I'm sorry Gutmutter. I know from dealing with my own Dad, it was really hard not being with him. I still talked to him on the phone and that helped but its just not the same as being there. I hope that your son's situation improves and he can make the trip to see his Dad. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

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Originally Posted by Ellen

I'm looking at a very strong possibility that my husband has prostate cancer. Though it's usually a "no big deal" slow-moving cancer in most, the love of my life is a 26-year renal transplant (anonymous unrelated cadaver) recipient. All those years of immunosuppresants are taking their toll (two incidents of skin cancer, plus other stuff). His PSA level has been significantly elevated since February. We've taken the wait-and-see approach, but the last tests indicate that it's time to stop waiting and to start seeing, especially since typically slow-moving cancers such as prostate can become outrageously aggressive in immunosuppressed people. Sometime within the next 6 weeks he'll have a biopsy.

Really, I don't know what scares me more: the cancer itself, or that our "health"care (what an effin' joke) is Kaiser. (Californians will know what I mean.)

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Ellen, I'm sorry to know this about your husband. Recently, we had a similar scare. My hubby's PSA level was up a bit... and the doc wanted to be safe and sent him to get it checked. Found a hard spot on his prostate. Had to have a biopsy. My hubby said the biospy was very uncomforable (not painful). But the wait for me felt like a lifetime. We had to wait two weeks. Thankfully, they said.. NO cancer. But, he will have to get it check again in 6 months.

My thoughts are with you...

GOOD LUCK!

Gosh, so much sad news. echo, I'm so sorry about your fall. I missed you at Fun & Games and wondered what might have happened. Someone I love never got back on their feet after hip surgery, so you need to take care of yourself, and do the work, okay? Gumutter, if it would give your son peace of mind, I hope he can visit his dad. I wish your daughter had a connection he could take advantage of. Don't get discouraged, there are angels around every corner - hopefully a solution is too.

Thanks. I'll reimind him to ask his sister if she has any buddy passes he could use. Mostly it's that he just started a new job... finished the training portion a few days ago, so not really a great time to ask for time off.

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Originally Posted by Gutmutter

Thanks. I'll reimind him to ask his sister if she has any buddy passes he could use. Mostly it's that he just started a new job... finished the training portion a few days ago, so not really a great time to ask for time off.

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What about the FMLA? I don't know the rules for that, but it might be a way for your son to get some time off.

I just googled it and am not sure this situation meets the guidelines. Even if it did, I don't know if he is willing to risk his new job. Just because he can legally take a leave doesn't mean it wouldn't put him on the short list for cuts down the road. I talked with his older sister last night and she doesn't seem to think things are as dire as my son thinks. She thought maybe he was just venting to me since he is struggling with other issues (trying to find an apartment) as well. I guess I just do what I usually do as a mom in situations out of my control... let them know I love them, am always here for them, have a safe place to return to if needed, and ask for those who can spare a prayer to think of them.

Well, today was one of the days where I just felt completely awful. I was out for most of the day and it just came onto me, to the point where I couldn't even meet up with a friend that I had planned to see. I did tell her on the phone though, so I didn't just leave her hanging, if that makes me seem any better. Along with that, there are people I wanted to talk to but I couldn't.

At the moment I'm feeling better, though. Should I apologize to the people that had to see me this way?

Should you apologize? No! You couldn't help how you felt so you shouldn't apologize for it. However, if it affected the way they felt, you should acknowledge that.

We all bow out of commitments from time to time. The important thing to remember is that you can't allow it to become a habit. Sometimes you just have to push yourself into the game, because once you're there, you will discover it was exactly what you needed. Listen to your inner voice and know your limitations... you make the calls, but don't ever sell yourself short.

Said the recluse :laugh

Johnny, I am afflicted with severe mood swings, and have been for most of my life. I prefer not to take medication if I can help it, but I keep on the lookout for naturopathic sort of things that can help. My sister recommended 5-HTP to me, which is on the same shelf as the vitamins at the drug store. I researched it and it doesn't seem to have any side effects, though is is contraindicated for anyone taking inhibitors (which I refuse to take), so I gave it a whirl. It took a couple of weeks, but my insomnia has broken and my mood seems to have levelled off at pretty decent, so I'm pretty happy with the stuff. I'm not necessarily suggesting that you immediately start taking it, but you might want to do some research.

Good luck.