Talk about your troubles

[prhoshay]

I was wanting to ask if there was a possiblity that the parents were lonely. It sounds like they are not very busy.

Generally speaking, we should stay out of other people's business unless they ask for our help/opinion....or risk getting our feelings hurt or insulted.

[spockwhat]

I have known a lot of older people whose biggest problems were feeling isolated, so I can surely understand their concern that the "guests" might stop coming if they felt offended by being spoken to. I don't see it as the "guests" black mailing your parents, just reacting to confrontation. It is a real possibility, so your parents need to weigh things carefully. I still think a good compromise would be to think of inexpensive dishes they can have/make for the freeloaders... veggie soup in a crockpot: can of tomato soup, can of black beans, a couple of kinds of frozen veggies, and spices. Macaroni and cheese... mix a box of kiddie kind with a box of plain noodles and a little real cheese. Rice and beans. Chicken soup made from the carcass of a chicken cooked down in the crockpot with onions, carrots, and celery. You get the idea.

Eh, you're kinder than I, to be sure.
I'd rather have no friends and just my husband by my side, than friends like those. But I'm a bit tough, I guess. I'd let a person know, and if they get mad about it, whatever.

In the end, I have to agree with prhoshay: your parents are grown adults, and you can certainly broach the subject by asking how they feel about it... even offering your perspective. Let them know you're worried because you love them. But if they are fine with it, then you have to step aside.

It's a difficult thing to deal with for sure, we'll be thinking of you as you work through it.

[pikachu]

I see nothing wrong with expecting regular visitors to help pitch in with the expense of meals. Since they feel right at home coming over and expecting to be fed, your parents or you should feel ok with assigning something for them to bring on their next visit:

Good to see you again! Next week, bring some chicken breasts and we'll have barbequed chicken.

If they don't bring the chicken, politely dismiss them before mealtime.

Thanks for coming over! Sorry to kick you out but we have to get dinner ready. See you next time!

[Debb70]

Oh, my parents are not lonely. They are very active in many ways and they like it like that. They can't do as much physical labor, but they do a lot of other things. They are very active in church and visiting the rest homes and shutins, and even their friends from high school! The phone rings off the hook in their house and often it's like grand central station. They LOVE family and friends and that's why they tolerate so much, even when it's not fair to them.

[PhoneGrrrl]

I wasn't worried up until today about Isaac. The models now have it coming much further west than originally predicted...and on the Katrina anniversary. I try to play it cool with hurricanes, but due to other crap going on, I'm fretting more than usual.

[prhoshay]

Oh, my parents are not lonely. They are very active in many ways and they like it like that. They can't do as much physical labor, but they do a lot of other things. They are very active in church and visiting the rest homes and shutins, and even their friends from high school! The phone rings off the hook in their house and often it's like grand central station. They LOVE family and friends and that's why they tolerate so much, even when it's not fair to them.

Well, maybe that's just in your eyes/mind, and they are perfectly happy with the situation the way it is.

[PhoneGrrrl]

OK, I'm freaking the hell out. They're saying Isaac is going to be worse than Gustav. Gustav hit my roof and I had no electricity for 8 days. Katrina was bad for NOLA, but that was due to bad man-made levees--they were actually okay for a few hours after the storm hit, as I watched it on rabbit ears. Wind isn't man-made. I'm screwed and still have to go into work in the morning. Everything is closed but my office. Perhaps I should find jobs in somewhere like Nebraska (though don't they have tornadoes?). What's underground and safe?

[pikachu]

Aren't there numbers you can call, like the National Hurricane Center, to find the location of shelters in your area?

I went to a Hurricane Preparedness Meeting to take notes for my boss when I lived in Orlando and the best piece of advice I heard there was to not try to get as far as you can from the storm, because everyone's going to try to hit the road and traffic will bottleneck the evacuation. Try to find the closest shelter to your location and go there to wait out the storm. If you don't get the day off from work but you live in an area where you don't feel safe, take the time off anyway. Make sure you let work know where you are first. I don't think they'd begrudge you using your leave if you don't have a safe place to stay in the storm.

I live in Tallahassee so we'll be getting some of the storm here, too. Not so bad since we're not in the hurricane's direct path and we're not on the coast.

[AJane]

OK, I'm freaking the hell out. They're saying Isaac is going to be worse than Gustav. Gustav hit my roof and I had no electricity for 8 days. Katrina was bad for NOLA, but that was due to bad man-made levees--they were actually okay for a few hours after the storm hit, as I watched it on rabbit ears. Wind isn't man-made. I'm screwed and still have to go into work in the morning. Everything is closed but my office. Perhaps I should find jobs in somewhere like Nebraska (though don't they have tornadoes?). What's underground and safe?

I would tell you to come up here but we have tornadoes in summer & blizzards in winter. I'd like to know where a safe place is too...Australia maybe? Hope it's not as bad as anticipated - we are hearing about it as far north as here. Stay safe.

[AZChristian]

We get sand storms and monsoons, but they're not too bad . . . and the season is short. Did I mention hot, though?