+ Reply to Thread
Like Tree1622Likes

Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #10691
    I won't forget Cootie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In the garden
    Posts
    2,472

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by nennie View Post
    I just found out today that a tenant where I used to work passed away. I worked there 8 years and had gotten to know her very well and she and her husband had practically raised their autistic grandson. I am really concerned about the grandson since he is severe autistic and grandma and grandpa was the only ones who could handle him. My heart is really sad for the family. Rest in peace Pam.
    My thoughts are with you, Nennie. There are so many people like the family you mention that need care. I hope that that grandson can continue to get what he needs.

  2. #10692
    addicted to reality AmyKay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Roanoke, VA
    Posts
    1,133

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I know this seems relatively petty because it’s not a death or something traumatic but I truly am troubled and don’t have anyone that is not biased in the situation to talk to about it so thought I would post here and get it off my chest, maybe get an opinion or 2.
    I have been working with my current company for 10 years; it’s a Dr.'s office. I started in medical records and have worked my way up/around to do many other things (scheduling, front desk, etc). A local large medical system bought us out and since then I have been doing referrals and authorizations for our patients, something that I have grown to love and that I am very good at. When we were bought, our “business” office went to the central business office and I got a new “team lead” and supervisor. I loved my job even more, there seemed to be no drama compared to where I had been-although my lead and supervisor didn’t really know what I did. I was also constantly on the phone with the site, which at some times became annoying. It was decided I should be back at the site, so this past Feb they moved me back, which as a result I got a new lead and supervisor. I still love what I do, just not the environment I am in. My lead dislikes me, I am not sure why. I am good with my supervisor, she has been very helpful to me when I need things, but it seems like I am invisible to my lead. She will ask everyone else in the dept if they need help with things, will talk to them about random things, but I don’t even get so much as a hello some days. I truly believe the lead is not management material. She loses her temper easily; doesn’t really know what her staff does or even what she is doing sometimes, when she is not here it seems all is well. I have seen her egging on drama between co workers, and even heard her telling some of my coworkers things they should not know (for example: that someone was suspended and why). I have talked to the supervisor about my feelings and what I have heard and was told she would have a talk with my lead and I shouldn’t worry. Well, since then it’s gotten even colder between me and my lead. A position in my old department has opened up and I have applied for it, but here is where I am troubled- I really love what I do, but I don’t want to be under this particular lead I have at the moment. I haven’t even been interviewed yet or offered the job, but my heart is truly torn. Am I jumping the gun in worrying about choosing between the two? Should I just suck it up if I really like what I do?
    Thanks for listening/reading.
    "Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for"- Warren Barfield

  3. #10693
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Right Here, Right Now
    Posts
    25,188

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Not that I'm any kind of expert, but what I hear in what you have written is that you really want some answers to the communication difficulties between you and your "lead" (I have never heard that term before), and I don't think you'll get what you're looking for unless you talk straight to the source of the person you see as your problem. She is the only one who can really give you what you need.

    I remember a supervisor that I had that I just never seemd to "gel" with, and I can get along with most people, if I want to. She called me in for some b.s/problem, and I was at the end of my rope in my dealings with her. Before I ever let her start the conversation, I said, "Look...lets just say "what is"....the bottom line is that you don't like me and I don't like you." I was looking her directly in the eye. She kind of smiled and said, "I like you, Shay."; my reply was, "Yeah, rrright." Anyway, we talked things out, and things improved from that moment, forward. I don't even remember what the problem was that she had called me in to talk about; I'm guessing it was nonexistant. I can't say that we became friends, but we developed a new level of respect for each other that worked well for our work environment and my career.

    Sometimes, you just have to go straight to the source, and choose your words carefully. She's the only one who has the answers you need/want. She doesn't have to like you, but you do want her to respect you. You just never know what somebody else (even your "lead") may be going through that is affecting how she interacts with people/you. I prefer not to take things personally before I'm sure that I should. I am not confrontational, but I do need to get to the bottom of things!

    I don't know if any of that helped, but you did remind me of a touchy situation that I resolved, for me, in a way that made me proud of me!!

    There was another supervisor that I didn't get along with....and I DIDN'T CARE!! I actually enjoyed working her nerves!!! There was no need to resolve that problem! She was how I entertained myself!

    I guess you've got to decide what's worth resolving and what's not.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

  4. #10694
    addicted to reality AmyKay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Roanoke, VA
    Posts
    1,133

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Thanks, prhoshay Like you I am totally not confrontational and would like this resolved but just dont think going to her will help for a long period of time. I guess I should have mentioned (honestly I didnt think about it when I was typing) that right after I came back I was "called to the principles office" for having a bad attitude toward my lead, both lead and supervisor were there. I explained that I didnt mean to have an attitude, but that I didnt feel welcome by my lead and that may have been the reason. She said she was glad to have me and that I was needed. Things seemed ok for a little while after that, maybe a week or 2. Then back to the coldness.
    I think she has some other things going on not work wise that have to do with things, but then why is it only me she seems this way with? I have a feeling it may have something to do with my knowledge of things and that its part jealousy? I dont want to sound full of myself, but I am like the "super user" for our system here and people are often coming to me for help. Maybe she is the type of person that needs to have an "enemy" (I have known MANY of those people!)
    I used to have to have everyone like me, but I have gotten to the point I dont necessarily care if she does or not, I just would like some respect and/or be able to get along. I know I am a hard worker and good at what I do. I just dont like the tension.
    (btw, I think a "lead" is the equiv of a manager(we report to her for absences, time off, problems, etc) and the supervisor is HER manager. Tho the supervisor once said "the lead is not your boss, I am" *shrug*)
    "Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for"- Warren Barfield

  5. #10695
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Nap Time
    Posts
    13,155

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    My 2 cents... patiently wait and see if the other job comes through. Then if confronting her isn't your style, realize the only thing you can control is your own reaction to her. Breathe in, breathe out when you start feeling stressed. Smile at her. Admire her necklace/shirt/hair/whatever when you genuinely notice something nice. I had a friend whose brother was giving her similar problems and she kept a small, framed picture of him near where she meditated/prayed at home. She would pray for him and for their relationship. She would talk positively to the picture the way she wished she could talk to her brother. She said it was like a miracle how much things changed between them.
    AmyKay likes this.
    Count your blessings!

  6. #10696
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    The Motor City
    Posts
    2,313

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Both the suggestions listed above are good. Just one thing I might add - try to document examples. You said you feel that she is overly picky towards you. Can you document examples? The reason I say this is because I do think if you want any type of resolution and to stay in the current job, you will have to talk to her. If you can go in with concrete examples, instead of just "I feel like you don't like me", then one of two things will happen: (i) she will have a reason behind why she treats you differently and she will tell you, or (ii) she will realize that you are on to her and you have documented proof of her differential treatment and she will back off. My husband had to do that. In his case, it was the latter and it was based on jealousy, as you mentioned above. But once his counterpart realized that he had documented examples, which he could then take to their mutual boss, if he so chose, she backed way off. It also helps to approach it as non-confrontationally as possible - like basically saying "I've noticed some examples of you being overly picky with me. I love working here and am concerned that something is wrong and you are unhappy with my performance. I would like to talk about that." If there really is a problem with your performance (doesn't sound like it) then that will open the door for her to talk to you about it. If it isn't a problem, then she doesn't see it as the big shot trying to attack her. Instead, it is a team player who doesn't want to play games and actually has the substance to back it up.
    AmyKay likes this.

  7. #10697
    Best Ever Pool Runner Angry Birds Champion, Rancho Ice Racer Champion pikachu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tallahassee, FL
    Age
    43
    Posts
    4,499

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I had a similar problem with my former supervisor. For some reason, he never seemed to like me. When I first started working in this office, he was just a co-worker but when our supervisor left, he became the supervisor. He was very friendly with my other co-workers and would even go to lunch with them or get together with them on the weekends or after work but he wouldn't even tell me when he was going to be out of the office. That was a problem for me because I answer the phones for our section so I needed to know when he was out and when he would be back at the office for when people called for him.

    I've been applying for new jobs for years now and often would get an interview and do good on the work sample but then not get hired. I suspected that my boss was not giving me a good reference.

    I never did resolve things with him but he's moved on to a different job now so I'm hoping things will be different with my new supervisor.

  8. #10698
    addicted to reality AmyKay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Roanoke, VA
    Posts
    1,133

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Pikachu, thats kind of the situation here too, we started out as just coworkers and then she took the lead position and its been this way.
    Anyway, Im just going to sit on it, be as nice and as cordial as I can without being fake. I have applied a couple other places so we will see what happens. I keep telling myself dont worry- just pray

    Thank you ALL for your input!
    KatesMom likes this.
    "Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for"- Warren Barfield

  9. #10699
    Go Teams! inthegarden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    2,298

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by AmyKay View Post
    Pikachu, thats kind of the situation here too, we started out as just coworkers and then she took the lead position and its been this way.
    Anyway, Im just going to sit on it, be as nice and as cordial as I can without being fake. I have applied a couple other places so we will see what happens. I keep telling myself dont worry- just pray

    Thank you ALL for your input!
    Sometimes this is the best way to go. Some people are just unpleasant no matter how nice you are. Good Luck AmyKay.
    AmyKay likes this.

  10. #10700
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Right Here, Right Now
    Posts
    25,188

    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Personally, I'd probably act like she didn't exist, as much as possible. I'm sure that's a big surprise to everybody!
    AmyKay, KatesMom and Baby's Breath like this.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

    When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, you know which one you hit by the one that yelps!

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.