Re: Talk about your troubles
I'm so sorry for your loss, spockwhat. My first close relative I lost was my dad's dad. We weren't close at all but I was surprised by the impact of his death. In some ways it's worse when you aren't close to a family member who dies because you have unresolved issues that will never be solved and you lose any chance of becoming closer to them in the future. The only beneficial thing to get from it is if you have a living friend or relative you've grown apart from, you need to try to start finding your way back to each other before you lose that chance with them.
My mom died about 6 years ago and it still hurts. I feel like I became a different person after she died because her absence created such a hole in me, I couldn't go on being the person I used to be without her.
Writing a journal is a good way to let out all your emotions, frustrations, etc. so you can put things in perspective and figure out where you want to go from here.
Re: Talk about your troubles
I am so sorry to hear that spockwhat. I am not close with my mother, so I can sort of guess what emotions you are going through. I would journal, getting it all out there really does help. I did that when my father died, I was depressed for nearly a year. The only thing that was helpful, was my journal.Or, just writing out my thoughts. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.I am sorry for how you are feeling right now
FM
Re: Talk about your troubles
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother spockwhat. I don't know if we ever get over the loss of our mother's no matter if we were close or not. I pray for peace for all of you.
My mom passed away a year ago and her birthday was yesterday and I wondered how she would of been at 85.
Re: Talk about your troubles
So sorry about your mom, spockwhat. My mom is getting on in years and a couple of years ago we had a situation that could have caused an unrepairable rift, but I worked hard on my feelings because I know that none of us are perfect and I would regret losing our relationship. A lot of people can't believe I let it all go... she has a history of treating me badly. But you only get one mother and when she's gone, she's gone. Journaling is a great idea. Try to focus on the positive things she did in your life. I'll be thinking of you. :grouphug
Re: Talk about your troubles
I am so sorry, spockwhat. :grouphug
Re: Talk about your troubles
It's a weird thing about losing a mother. This is a person who has always been in our lives...good or bad...and it generally has a weird effect on us. I lost my mom in 1987, and I still have some resentments about it; we were close; I was/am the baby. I don't think the bother ever goes away, and it is an always-changing situation. You're going to feel certain ways on some days, and differently on others. It comes and goes. For me, I am really sorry that I didn't ask more questions of her....too late now, and there's no one else around to provide her answers. Hard Questions! She would have told me whatever I wanted to know. I encourage all of you who still have your mothers (or fathers).....ask questions. The people who feel uncomfortable answering your questions are the people who are going to remain living. No disrespect intended, people who know that they are dying have nothing to lose by answering.
And I think that you've got to focus on, both, the positive AND the negative in your relationship, since it all has gone into who you are today, and exploring all of that may help you understand things about yourself as you go along.
Mostly, be easy on yourself; be overly nice to yourself. Take all of the time that you need to explore you. Let no one rush you in your process. Like I've found, it can go on for a very long time.
:cheek
Re: Talk about your troubles
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Critical 
April 6th was the 5th anniversary of my mother's death. She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. I'm very sorry for your loss Spock :(
Re: Talk about your troubles
Quote:
Originally Posted by
prhoshay It's a weird thing about losing a mother. This is a person who has always been in our lives...good or bad...and it generally has a weird effect on us. I lost my mom in 1987, and I still have some resentments about it; we were close; I was/am the baby. I don't think the bother ever goes away, and it is an always-changing situation. You're going to feel certain ways on some days, and differently on others. It comes and goes. For me, I am really sorry that I didn't ask more questions of her....too late now, and there's no one else around to provide her answers. Hard Questions! She would have told me whatever I wanted to know. I encourage all of you who still have your mothers (or fathers).....ask questions. The people who feel uncomfortable answering your questions are the people who are going to remain living. No disrespect intended, people who know that they are dying have nothing to lose by answering.
And I think that you've got to focus on, both, the positive AND the negative in your relationship, since it all has gone into who you are today, and exploring all of that may help you understand things about yourself as you go along.
Mostly, be easy on yourself; be overly nice to yourself. Take all of the time that you need to explore you. Let no one rush you in your process. Like I've found, it can go on for a very long time.
:cheek
You're so right PR - I wish I had asked my mother more questions about everything! My mom is the only one who loved me unconditionally - I miss her and her wisdom so :bawl I never listened to her but she was right about practically everything. Yes Mom - you told me so! :lol
Re: Talk about your troubles
Quote:
Originally Posted by
spockwhat My mother died last week. I guess I'm having a rough time with it. I.
awww spockwhat, I am sorry for your loss. It's just crummy all the way around. I wish you peace and comfort. :hug
Re: Talk about your troubles
spockwhat, I am thinking of you and hope you can find solace in many ways, including connecting with us on FORT about moms - so many here have given me words of wisdom and ways to heal from the pain of losing my mom - I hope it works for you, too.
