Talk about your troubles

OMLB and all who have dealt with loss via suicide - my heart breaks for you. It's so hard to grieve when you're full of different emotions - anger, guilt, etc. :grouphug I don't have personal experience with suicide, but after losing my brother when he was 26 (blood clot), I experienced all those typical stages of grief and it's never easy. What I did find helped so much (and still does 14 years later) is people sharing their stories so you don't feel so alone.


Well, after my car accident yesterday, I'm still pretty upset. I'm so thankful nobody was hurt, but I'm still shaking thinking about it. We brought my minivan to the shop today - 2-3 week turnaround and at least $2K in damages. :eek I only (?) have a $500 deductible, but I have a feeling my car insurance will be going up. I keep telling myself I am lucky I wasn't injured and my daughter wasn't in the car.

Just as an update, Hoss is doing well. :) He was skinny when he came back, but is gaining his weight back. I called the vet who said as long as he's gaining weight he should be fine. :up

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Originally Posted by ElizabethG

I don't know if this would count as "troubles" or not...but I am very sad today. My great Aunt died yesterday afternoon at the age of 105. For the last 10 years or so we had gotten quite close after I started researching family history. My daughter and I used to have Wednesday dinner with her every week before I took my daughter to her piano lesson. When she moved to a retirement home at the age of 98, we still spent at least 1 or 2 days a week visiting her. She was such a strong willed woman - said pretty much exactly what she thought, whenever she thought it. Up until this past year she still could see fairly well, hear with the help of a hearing aid and she played bridge pretty much up until the last couple of months. Her mind was still sharp as a tack. She was a former elementary school teacher and she adored teenagers and young children. I learned a lot from this wonderful lady and I will miss her very much.

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ElizabethG, I felt just awful for you when I read this post of yours back toward the end of April, and I confess that it hit a little bit too close to home, at the time, for me to muster up the ability to reply to it properly.

I hope that you’re doing better with the loss these days and I hope that you’ve been able to really enjoy the wonderful memories that you and your daughter were able to put together in the last decade.

I do wish you comfort with that loss and I hope you’re not in so much pain.

I couldn’t reply to your post at the end of April because it struck just a little too close to home for me, and I wasn’t ready to deal with the impending loss of a very dear friend of mine, a former neighbor who’s 85.

This friend of mine has been such a hot ticket!! I'm pretty picky about the people with whom I choose to spend my time, but this one was very special. I used to think of her as "A 40 year old in an old lady costume."

Her health’s been failing and I figured that the end was near, either the end of her life or the end of her life as we knew it. She’s been in failing health, big-time, and the time has finally come for her to go into a nursing home.

She is a former neighbor of mine, and I met her back in 1999 when I saw her outside pushing her little Poodle around in her wheelchair. The dog was sitting in the wheelchair while my friend Sally (a/k/a “Salad”) pushed the chair and the dog sitting in it. Back then she used the chair as a walker.

One thing led to another and before long I was clipping the Poodle on a regular basis. Soon we each had the key to each other’s house, and I used to leave my American Eskimo at Salad’s house each day while I was at work. I would tell Salad that my dog got lonely and she benefited from having the company of Salad and her dog during the day, but the truth was that I used that as an excuse to keep a close eye on my frail little friend.

In the time I was her neighbor she broke her hip twice in twelve months and had a pinning surgery and then a total hip replacement. To everyone’s surprise she managed to recover from both procedures with a minimal amount of intervention, and with just a stint in a nursing home that lasted six weeks (each time, after both procedures).

I moved away three and a half years ago – only because Salad insisted and because we went to great lengths to line up good care for her – and moving to the east coast has been one of the very best decisions I could have made.

We’ve stayed in touch via mail and phone (we speak about 4-5 times per week) and I even found her a rescued Pomeranian after her little Poodle finally passed away. It’s been a wonderful friendship that we’ve shared.

Recently I got the bad news that she’s been failing fast, and so I flew out there a week ago to help her get ready to return to the nursing home (where she recovered from her two hip surgeries) for good.

It's not every day that we get the opportunity to really help our friends and family prepare for such a huge transition as moving into a nursing home, and it was a real blessing to be able to help Sally get some things in order to do that.

I’m happy to know that she won’t be dehydrated any more ‘cause she’s going to be eating and drinking good things again, and she won’t have to fall asleep in her chair, like she had grown accustomed to doing in the last several months.

Still, I’m sad ‘cause this is a huge change – she had lived in her apartment for 35 years and she’s been a big part of my life over the last six years.

I’ll miss our routine.

First thing this week I’m having a telephone installed in her room, so that will help a lot ‘cause I can still call her whenever the urge hits me.

I try to look on the bright side, too, and be glad that she’s dealing with “old age-related” kinds of problems. The tragic flip side of that would be that she’d died young, and I’m very glad that wasn’t the case.

So I’m not really venting about a specific “trouble,” just groaning about this change. I knew you guys would let me.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...05-Cropped.jpg

I feel a little guilty posting about my trivial trouble after reading the last couple of threads but I'm going to anyway because I'm so frustrated.

My flimmin' flammin' treadmill belt is off-center on the deck and the instructions for fixing it in the owner's manual are NOT working. Then again, neither are any of my other bright ideas. Ugh.

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Originally Posted by Pomeraniac

I couldn’t reply to your post at the end of April because it struck just a little too close to home for me, and I wasn’t ready to deal with the impending loss of a very dear friend of mine, a former neighbor who’s 85.

It's not every day that we get the opportunity to really help our friends and family prepare for such a huge transition as moving into a nursing home, and it was a real blessing to be able to help Sally get some things in order to do that.

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God bless people like you Pomeraniac....You are a true blessing to people... :)

Wow Pom, you are an extraordinary friend to help Salad out like that. She's truly blessed to have you in her life. :biglove

Well, I have two problems once again.

1. I really need a job. I applied to Summer Youth and I didn't get picked yet. Even if I do get picked for that I can't work for them because they require you to work four days a week and I can't wait 4 days a week. I got accepted to a full scholarship to New Youth Connections program over the summer. It is Mon-Thurs from 12pm-5pm. I really want to do the that. I recieved an application to McDonald's and they said to come back Tuesday at 4pm. I don't know for sure if that means that I have the job or not. I am really nervous. If I don't ge this job than I don't know what I am going to do or how I am going to get money over the summer. :sad :crying

2. Deshon might go down south to South Carolina over the summer to visit his Great Grandmother. She is very ill and he wants to be with her in her final days. That's fine and I am glad that he wants to do that but I am really going to miss him. I don't know what I am going to do this summer without him. I guess I am going to have to handle it and wait to see him when school starts. :sad

Any advice?

Pom that is a wonderful story. Salad is so lucky to have you in her life. I hope she does well and you have many more good years of friendship ahead. :biglove

I felt compelled after I read Poms post about Salad,and ElizabethG post about her great aunt. I am the maintenance manager for a multi campus health care facility. We encompass a retirement community (independent living and community based residential care), Alzheimers care, nursing home, adult day care, daily meal programs, etc. Even though my job does not entail the actual care of residents, (the work my crew and myself do provides the heat, air conditioning, electricity, phone services, repairs to the buildings equipment etc., Fortunately we are constantly spending and can do so much with state of the art computers, building controls etc., that enables us to monitor from almost anywhere we go 24/7) but sorry for the side track, as I was writing that even though we do not directly care for our elders, we see plenty, where people check Mom, Dad, Auntie, Uncle, Gramps etc., in and then leave to visit only on holidays if then. When they do visit it is usually to gripe about a light bulb that burn't out, they think the room is too hot or cold, even though Mom likes it at 78 degrees.. It is so refreshing to read posts like Poms and ElizabethG from people that do the things they can for our aging populace. THANK YOU!

oh Pom. There is a special place in heaven for people like you. You make the world a better place and I am sure that Salad knows and appreciates you. I'm sorry for the change, but I know you know in your heart she'll get the care she needs. Lots of hugs for you, my fort friend. Salad is a pretty lucky lady to call Pommie her friend. :biglove