So sorry for your family's loss and the misbehaviour of the in-laws that makes it more difficult. Shame on them!
I went to a memorial service yesterday for a friend who died from breast cancer. She had it a year or two after me and we both recovered, but hers came back this summer all through her body and she failed quickly. They have 3 grown children who were all involved in a sport I coached when they were younger. The youngest babysat for my kids and we've kept in touch through e-mail. I went to the calling hours Friday and the memorial service yesterday. The slide show of her life and testimonials from friends and family were just incredible. She was a person who put everyone else first, loved family events, helped people in need, married to her high school sweetheart for over 40 years, etc. It really makes me step back and put things in perspective.