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They said the chemo is a form of pain control. The cancer has also spread to his bones and that is where the most pain is from. He has 2 more rounds of this chemo and if it doesn't help the growth any they said they will just make him comfortable and call in hospice.
Gutmutter he wants to try everything he can. The dr also said he couldn't handle the latest news so they haven't told him the extent of it. He isn't in denial he just can't handle it. Not knowing is better than knowing.
My sister is beside herself. I talked to her this morning and she said he is in a lot of pain today. He will have a couple of good days and then he will be in bed for a week.
Cancer is a very sad and cruel disease. My dad had bone cancer and it was the hardest thing to watch as the pain was horrific. This is the same pain my bil is suffering.
Thanks for all your prayers.
I have only been in this forum a time or two, but this particular situation has thrown me for a loop. My sister in law died friday night. 36 years old-4 kids. May have been some hospital negligence involved. Taken to the hospital by ambulance, diagnosed admitted and released all within 24 hours-dead before she reached her front door. EMS said if she were in the hospital she'd be alive, instead her kids watched her die at their front step after simply walking from the taxi.
My brother is a widower at 32 years old. My niece turned four less than a week before her mother died. She's taking this badly, as she lost her grandmother (her mom's mom) just a year ago. She understands in some ways that her mom is gone forever like her grandma, but only says to everyone who comes near her that "my mom is really sick" in the most heartbreaking little voice. Then she's sad for a second and runs off to play or lay down and watch nick jr.
My brother is left to raise 3 teenaged stepchildren and a toddler. He's going to need to quit one of his jobs (he was working three jobs preparing to buy a home for his family). He lives with driving distance of me, but not very close. My mom was diagnosed with lung disease two days before his wife died. My son is diabetic and autistic. We both plan on helping as much as possible, but those circumstances will make it a little hard, and I've been looking for bereavement groups for the family but it's hard to find them for children as young as my niece.
Her family is driving my husband and their kids crazy. I could tell you stories! A few of them are sharks circling the water talking about lawsuits. My brother just wants to deal with the fact that everything in his world is different after only 7 years together. He can't sleep in his own bed. He misses his wife and has been vomiting and crying since he rushed home from work just in time to watch the paramedics struggle to bring his clearly dead wife back to life.
My mom, stepfather and I were at their home today. Her family argued with him about everything and they haven't even started making arrangements yet. They even chased him out of the building as he left with a photo album to look at pictures of his wife in peace because he can't find any in his own home. They want to pick the program pictures. He said it's not happening. The same relative actually snattched his wifes shoes out of his hands as he was crying and threw them across the rom saying "that's over now we need to..." before I tossed her out their room and said let him have some privacy. His wife never liked that relative btw.He doesn't have the strength to fight, but he said tomorrow they all go back to their own homes. They are only staying with him because an elderly aunt of his wife's witnessed the death and had to be admitted with heart problems. When she is released he said he's no longer playing hotel and he needs to deal with his wife's funeral and figuring out how to raise this family alone.
At the house with so many people snooping around he decided to install a lock on his bedroom door. Her family started protesting and verbally attacking our family. My brother said the lock goes on until they are gone. WW3 broke out. My family stayed as silent and calm as possible. Once my brother came back from the car (where he'd gone to look at the pictures in peace) he told everyone except the 4 who had to stay there until the aunt was released that it was time to go. Then he grabbed my niece and came home with us for a night of peace. The 18 year old stepson said he wanted to stay home and he'd keep an eye on the house. The other two teens decided to stay with their big brother.
His wife has always warned him about her family. My brother wants to keep the peace for the kids and in memory of his wife. They've even tried to convince the oldest son that my brother is going to make him find a job to pay bills now that his mom is gone. Once the stepson confided his fear to my mom my brother spoke to him and assured him life would remain as normal as possible for them. He witnessed that family at work first hand last year when she was trying to bury her mother in peace. I think my brother just needs a night to mourn in peace in order to regain his fighting spirit. We refrained from entertaining the mess when attacked (there was one relative literally walking around the house trying to hear every conversation and questioning everyone's moves, reporting back to her family and starting crap). Tomorrow, if he tells us he wants us to put on our warpaint and go to battle with him we will, but hopefully he will take a flamethrower to the place one he's just a bit less shellshocked.
Well, that's the end of my rant. I've slept 8 hours in two days and I'm only worrying that my niece remains close to her mom's sister. the sisters were close and the sister has a son that's two weeks older than my niece. Those two kids are a joy to watch together. Best buddies! I'm also worrying about stepping up to be a female role model for her. Finding the time in my packed schedule to make sure someone is at every school event and drs. appointment(she has asthma and she was suppossed to start pre K the day her mom was rushed to the hospital). Finding time to take her to a bereavement group when I find one so that my brother won't have to try and fit it into a schedule that overloaded even more now that he doesn't have his partner to help him. Also leaving time for him to join a group because I was able to find groups easily for the other members of the household. The teens can decide if they want to join. My brother really needs it as does my niece. They teens are playing tough right now, but hopefully once the dust settles my brother can convince them to go.
Sorry for the long read. Can't sleep and needed to vent.
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