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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #10361
    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by 1dog2kids View Post
    Is anyone else troubled about how grown children think that they know better than you about how to conduct your life? I'm really weary of daughter #1 and all her helpful hints. Ugh!
    LOL -- I don't have kids, but this reminds me of conversations I had with my at-the-time 40-something mom when I was a 20-something.

    One took place during a meal when Mom was salting the heck out of something on her plate. I said something like, "Y'know, so much salt is bad for your blood pressure." She gave me The Look and said, "You're bad for my blood pressure!" She gave the salt shaker one more shake, and that was the end of that... (At least for that day...)
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    Trouble in my life just1paul's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by Ellen View Post
    LOL -- I don't have kids, but this reminds me of conversations I had with my at-the-time 40-something mom when I was a 20-something.

    One took place during a meal when Mom was salting the heck out of something on her plate. I said something like, "Y'know, so much salt is bad for your blood pressure." She gave me The Look and said, "You're bad for my blood pressure!" She gave the salt shaker one more shake, and that was the end of that... (At least for that day...)
    I love that comeback!
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    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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    FORT Fogey Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by just1paul View Post
    I love that comeback!
    My mom rocks. I learned my "comeback techniques" from her (which often get me into trouble, but that's not unexpected).
    "There's no crying in baseball!"
    -- Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

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    FORT Fogey nennie's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Yep our kids need to sometimes make sure their doorstep is swept before they sweep ours or tell us how to sweep it.
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  5. #10365
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    My husband and I are laughing and laughing as my pregnant daughter tells us what her child will and will not do and what she will and will not do. Oh sometimes it's hard not to laugh right in her face. I swear the Mother's Curse is working as I say to myself: Oh, ho, ho, ho, you just wait!!!

    Because I do not know a THING about raising babies. Because it's "all different now". Oh I feel a fit of hysteria coming on now as I type this.
    queenb, buglover and just1paul like this.
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    FORT Fogey cablejockey's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Myrosie--is that what your daughter told you? That things are so different now in the world of child raising that your experience is null and void? I guess that each generation thinks it knows better than the one before it--until the one after them taps them on the shoulder!

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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I'm chuckling as I'm reading MRD! Bless her heart!

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    PWS
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I know...hysterical! I did notice some things have changed in the world of babies though since I had one---for example at her baby shower my DIL got TWO boppies... I'm like, what??? They are pillows you use when you are nursing so your arm doesn't get tired...they kind of fit around your waist. Folding up a regular pillow as we all did is not done now. Also she got a Hooter Hider... something that vaguely reminds me of a Muslim woman's veil... that is meant for wearing when breastfeeding in public. We just used a receiving blanket... Plus about 5 different things to carry the baby in including one that consisted entirely of strips of cloth... a la something from an African village I think. And there's a thing called a playard that is absolutely essential it seems. It looks like a playpen with an inset near the top, plus another inset that only fills part of the top. The idea is the larger inset space can serve as a bed for the newborn and the smaller one as a diaper changing area. Needs special sheets of course.
    And if you were saving her old crib, forget it....just saw a news item that you can't even donate those anymore as they are unlikely to meet modern safety standards.... I'm sure these are all improvements for convenience or safety, but I had to supress a lot of smiles... And it made me wonder what WE had that our mothers were doing the same about!
    OK, these do not class as troubles exactly! So I'll segue back on topic to say I'm so sorry for those of you who have lost young'uns. At my age I've become resigned to losing friends, but I can truly say most of them had very good lives. A young person who hasn't had a chance to show what s/he can do, or to experience love and raising a family, is just so much sadder.
    Last edited by PWS; 06-28-2011 at 04:30 PM.

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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Yes - mostly just "stuff" to make us feel like better mothers? I don't know, I got a boppy with my daughter and didn't like it - ended up using regular pillows!

    I'm so sorry cootie!

    On the grown kids thing - in my experience, the best options are (i) if the relationship is such that you can be frank, just be very up front with the "you're an adult and so am I - if you want me to treat you like an adult, then show me the same respect"; or (ii) making a joke in a way that makes clear how you feel - such as "oh my goodness, how in God's name did I survive for 40 years without you to guide me - I'm surprised I didn't fall into a hole". Unless the person is oblivious, they should get it. I have also discovered that I try to point it out nicely once and if they don't get it, then I don't worry so much about offending them - because they have already offended me. Something along the lines of "I appreciate it that you care about me, but I am capable of taking care of myself and if I want or need your advice, I will be sure to ask for it". Unsolicited advice is a major pet peeve of mine, regardless of who it is coming from. I'm sorry you have to deal with this! I hope it can be straightened out peacefully and in a way that brings you closer.

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    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by PWS View Post
    I know...hysterical! I did notice some things have changed in the world of babies though since I had one---for example at her baby shower my DIL got TWO boppies... I'm like, what??? They are pillows you use when you are nursing so your arm doesn't get tired...they kind of fit around your waist. Folding up a regular pillow as we all did is not done now. Also she got a Hooter Hider... something that vaguely reminds me of a Muslim woman's veil... that is meant for wearing when breastfeeding in public. We just used a receiving blanket... Plus about 5 different things to carry the baby in including one that consisted entirely of strips of cloth... a la something from an African village I think. And there's a thing called a playard that is absolutely essential it seems. It looks like a playpen with an inset near the top, plus another inset that only fills part of the top. The idea is the larger inset space can serve as a bed for the newborn and the smaller one as a diaper changing area. Needs special sheets of course.
    And if you were saving her old crib, forget it....just saw a news item that you can't even donate those anymore as they are unlikely to meet modern safety standards.... I'm sure these are all improvements for convenience or safety, but I had to supress a lot of smiles... And it made me wonder what WE had that our mothers were doing the same about!
    OK, these do not class as troubles exactly! So I'll segue back on topic to say I'm so sorry for those of you who have lost young'uns. At my age I've become resigned to losing friends, but I can truly say most of them had very good lives. A young person who hasn't had a chance to show what s/he can do, or to experience love and raising a family, is just so much sadder.
    At my age now, I'm going to more funerals than weddings. It is especially sad when it's a younger person.

    Yes, it is different now. Just like in 1990 I told my mom that it was different than 1962. So my mom is also getting her revenge. Fortunately my daughter doesn't want all that "stuff". She is very into being an "earth" mother. Cloth diapers which I still have from her babyhood. And making own baby food which I also did. She looks at stuff and says: Why do I need THAT? I did tell her she is getting a baby swing as that thing kept me and my husband sane. But she's already said that all she really NEEDS is a car seat, stroller and crib.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

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