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Thread: Talk about your troubles

  1. #10031
    Ellie May SugarMama's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by GuardianAngel View Post
    Sugar: I'm sorry to hear so many people you know has been affected. My prayers to all those who are suffering.

    My friend starts her first round this afternoon at 2pm, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
    You get old enough, ya know? Before you know it, all conversations revolve around surgeries, illnesses, and things like colonoscopies -- all at the dinner table. But when you start showing each other your scars, watch out!

    Seriously, by the time most of us reach a certain age, we've encountered a lot of cancer among those we know and love (unfortunately). It's hard. Just when you think you've seen or heard it all, you learn you haven't.

    Prayers for your friend for healing and for strength and comfort for her and her husband.
    To return evil for good is devilish; to return good for good is human; to return good for evil is Divine - Alistair Begg

  2. #10032
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by SugarMama View Post
    You get old enough, ya know? Before you know it, all conversations revolve around surgeries, illnesses, and things like colonoscopies -- all at the dinner table. But when you start showing each other your scars, watch out!

    Seriously, by the time most of us reach a certain age, we've encountered a lot of cancer among those we know and love (unfortunately). It's hard. Just when you think you've seen or heard it all, you learn you haven't.

    Prayers for your friend for healing and for strength and comfort for her and her husband.
    My husband and I were talking about this last night, when I was growing up had HUGE extended family. Not unusual to have 40 for Thanksgiving. My grandmother was one of 11 and they were close and their children were close. Out of all that crowd, only 3.are still living. Watching my wedding video is hard.
    Out of 120 guests, 40 are gone.
    But, at a certain age and as the number of funerals you attend increase, you develop a unique outlook on life and death.
    Read something that said cancer is up but that also the other fatal diseases that reduced life span have treatments Now so people are living longer to get cancer.
    Heart disease, diabetes and illness before antibiotics, would take people at much younger ages before they could develop cancer. My grandmother used to talk about polio and she lived thru the flu epidemic of 1918. So if you think of all the things we can treat or cure now that we couldn't when she was born in 1906, cancer is all that's left. And a lot has been done in that field as well.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  3. #10033
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    MRD -- My dad also lived through the flu epidemic of 1918. He recalled it as some of the most horrible days of his life.

    I watched an interesting program on PBS last night about venom and how there is a lot of experimentation going on where venom is being shown as promising in helping diabetes, heart disease, kidney disease, etc. How amazing so much is right there in nature if we can only find it and harness it to the good.

  4. #10034
    FORT Fogey Dragonlady's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog View Post
    My husband and I were talking about this last night, when I was growing up had HUGE extended family. Not unusual to have 40 for Thanksgiving. My grandmother was one of 11 and they were close and their children were close. Out of all that crowd, only 3.are still living. Watching my wedding video is hard.
    Out of 120 guests, 40 are gone.
    But, at a certain age and as the number of funerals you attend increase, you develop a unique outlook on life and death.
    I can so relate to your statement, coming from parents who each had 10 children in their family. Seems like I'm hearing about another terminal illness or death all the time......so many gone now.
    I think I'm still searching for that unque outlook on life and death you spoke about. It just seemed to avalanche after being surrounded by so many for so long.

  5. #10035
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Hi all! Today is the anniversary (3 yrs) of when my middle son, Matt, died. You all helped me get back to an optimistic view of the world and I truly appreciate it. My youngest son still has not dealt well with everything. This last time, when i made my move, he made one as well moving out of state to stay with friends of his in the NC area. He is now coming home to live w/me (and my SO) and I need some advice. First off, there's no where else for him to go. We want him to have a job within 30 days. We want him to pay rent. (the rent will be used to pay back the debts that he's incurred over the years AND put into a savings acct that when he moves, he'll get it for downpmt on an apt, etc). What other rules am I forgetting?

  6. #10036
    MRD
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Respect your kitchen. I just had a huge blow up here about that. I may not be working, but I am NOT the maid.

    My thoughts are with you today and will be as your son moves in with you. I hope it goes well for all of you.

    Dragonlady, counseling, soul searching, crying, etc., and I had to find a way to cope. I do not honor the memory of all those I loved that have passed on by contining to grieve. Yes, I miss them. I wish they were still here. But I do their memory a better service by living my life in a way they would be proud of. But that's just me. Everyone has to find their own way of dealing with it and coping. That's mine.

    On a related note, my grandmother may have helped me develop this coping method. She once remarked that when she was growing up on a farm, there were a LOT of funerals. That her mother was lucky that all 11 of her children survived to adulthood, but that infant mortality was high when she was young. She had a unique outlook on death as well. That time period, death touched families a lot more than it does today and people that lived on farms, also dealt with it if they raised animals. So I think that today, we just don't see it as being such a part of life as it was 100 years ago when there was so much more of it. I'm not explaining it well. Not that you get "used" to it. But that I think back then, they accepted it more. Does that make sense?
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  7. #10037
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog View Post
    On a related note, my grandmother may have helped me develop this coping method. She once remarked that when she was growing up on a farm, there were a LOT of funerals. That her mother was lucky that all 11 of her children survived to adulthood, but that infant mortality was high when she was young. She had a unique outlook on death as well. That time period, death touched families a lot more than it does today and people that lived on farms, also dealt with it if they raised animals. So I think that today, we just don't see it as being such a part of life as it was 100 years ago when there was so much more of it. I'm not explaining it well. Not that you get "used" to it. But that I think back then, they accepted it more. Does that make sense?
    My interpretation of our grandparents' era was simply that death was part of life. A lot of people died at home surrounded by their loved ones, something that hospice is bringing back.
    "Fish are friends, not food, but everything else is fair game." ~ Pating, Survivor Cagayan Pool

  8. #10038
    Miz Smarty Britches queenb's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by myrosiedog View Post
    Respect your kitchen. I just had a huge blow up here about that. I may not be working, but I am NOT the maid.
    I'dd like to add- extend this to ALL of your personal property as well. so many times I see grown children moving back in with parents and acting as if anything and everything is free for the taking or using, even things they would have never thought of touching as young children. You do not have to supply them with computers, tv, or appliances to monopolize. And even if he's grown, make him respect that you still worry , so he can't be gone until 'whenever' without keeping you posted.

    I'm so sorry for those who are grieving. Like MRD, I've learned to cope for the most part, and would rather smile and think of the good things when I remember a person than cry. It does take a little while, but I've learned to move past the terribly sad and/or angry phase fairly fast. I haven't lost my parents or any siblings yet though.
    I have found the Truth and it doesn't make sense.

  9. #10039
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    Quote Originally Posted by famita View Post
    Hi all! Today is the anniversary (3 yrs) of when my middle son, Matt, died. You all helped me get back to an optimistic view of the world and I truly appreciate it. My youngest son still has not dealt well with everything. This last time, when i made my move, he made one as well moving out of state to stay with friends of his in the NC area. He is now coming home to live w/me (and my SO) and I need some advice. First off, there's no where else for him to go. We want him to have a job within 30 days. We want him to pay rent. (the rent will be used to pay back the debts that he's incurred over the years AND put into a savings acct that when he moves, he'll get it for downpmt on an apt, etc). What other rules am I forgetting?
    My thoughts are with you today, famita.

    Besides the kitchen that MRD mentioned, respecting all "public" areas of the house by not dropping his stuff everywhere, hogging the tv by playing video games at all hours, etc. You'll want to have a discussion on what his rent covers and doesn't cover, laundry, dishes, yard work, etc. And he definitely needs to help with snow shoveling for as long as he is under your roof!!! (We got about 6 inches today and you're not too far south of here. )
    "Fish are friends, not food, but everything else is fair game." ~ Pating, Survivor Cagayan Pool

  10. #10040
    FORT Fogey famita's Avatar
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    Re: Talk about your troubles

    I try to stay positive....I guess emphasis on the "try". It doesn't do any good to keep on with the "what if"'s. I guess I was wondering about if I should have him sign a contract with us. Maybe that'll help him grow up. He's been a wandering soul

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