Talk about your troubles

[Lil Bit]

You are not being selfish in the least Buglover. You are spending every ounce of your energy helping your son fight this horrible disease. That sure doesn't sound selfish to me. We all need to take time for ourselves, even if it's just for a few moments. Teenagers are hard to deal with under the best circumstances, and what Victor is going through would be hard on an adult, I can't imagine how a teen copes. Keep hanging in there and take it one day, one hour or even one minute at a time. And don't feel guilty for thinking about yourself once in awhile. What would your family do without you?

[just1paul]

Do NOT ever feel like a tool, we all care about you and Victor. From an OLD 53 year old guy - I know that looking back, what seemed the darkest - made me what I am today. Tell Victor to stop acting like a teenager (NYUK NYUK NYUK). Seriously you might tell him that if he really wants to try to live to a ripe age to do WHAT HE IS TOLD! then give him a hug from me. AND GIVE YOURSELF ONE.

[Unklescott]

Vent away bug. Can you talk to the physiologist at the hospital? I know Zac had one assigned to him that would talk to him and also Matt all the time. It's frustrating as hell, I know.

[shyra]

I was just reading some of the stories here and now I am adding one more. My friend found the love of her life about 8 years ago finally after a hard life and hard times. 5 years ago he had colon cancer and had to have a cholostomy. Move forward to this year and the spot that they left on or around his stomach has grown from 2 inches to 5 inches so they went for some test that is like an MRI but shows things better then the MRI does. After 3 1/2 weeks of waiting the Dr. called my friend and her husband and told them that the cancer is back, it is inoperable and the only thing they can do is chemo to prolong his life. There was a huge spot found on his tailbone. Her husband has custody of his 10 year old boy and my friend has been a mother to him since he was 2 years old since his own mother is into drugs heavily and only takes him once a month for one night. So on top of her husband dying at some point, she will have his son taken away from her as well unless a miracle can happen and his ex gives her custody or visiting or something.

Sorry for going on and on, hopefully there is a miracle out there for all of those who have cancer!

[GuardianAngel]

Bug: Somehow you need to have time to yourself, ME time is important for everyone, let alone people like you looking after your son/family member with this horrible disease. Don't ever feel guilty, my gosh you are putting everything aside to help your son, you certainly should be entitled to a little time to yourself.

shyra: What a sad story. I hope somehow your friend can get custody of the child. Going back to the Mom, does not sound like an option. I hope everything works out for her, the husband and the child.

[canadian_angel]

GA: You have my thoughts and prayers.

Bug: You also have my thoughts and prayers. Never ever worry about "complaining". You have been and are going through a lot.

[SugarMama]

Bug: You are going through my worst nightmare. Since the day my first child was born, all I ever prayed for was his good health: physically, spiritually, mentally. Your perserverence and pain are probably the highest they could be, especially for a mom. I hope you have lots of support around you. Prayers for you and your son.

Shyra: I'm so sorry for what's going on with your friend and her husband. She's lucky to have a friend like you!

Cancer is cruel. Just today I was talking with someone whose father has Alzheimers, and he's leaving her a little more with each passing day, like thousands of lit matches slowing blowing out, one by one. Another friend of mine recently lost her father to ALS (Lou Gherig's disease). These 3 are the worst, in my opinion, and I honestly can't say which is the worst of them. They're terrible.

But I still love Mother Teresa's famous line: God said he wouldn't give me anything he didn't think I could handle...I just wish he didn't trust me so much.

[norealityhere]

Bug,

You are not complaining. And we all care about you and your family.
Kids, as well as adults, don't always want to do the right thing. And, they do seem like they're rebelling at times, esp. when facing situations like Victor's in.
Victor does need time to just get out with his friends, even though it might seem dangerous.
By the way, as I'm in the LA area, you are more than welcome to PM me if you need any help getting him to CH or anything. I'm here for you.
Take care.

[Unklescott]

Sounds like it's time for my usual response.

[PWS]

Shyra---does the father have custody, with the mom just having occasional visitation? It seems like if so he could go to court now and/or see a lawyer to make arrangements for the future...given the mom's drug history. What an awful situation....
Bug...just joining in with a to all the hugs and advice again. Vent away!