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Thread: Tipping

  1. #151
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    Re: Tipping

    Does anybody still leave the cash tip on the table when in a restaurant? Recently, when I was out w/ a friend we dined at a popular restaurant chain after a day of shopping out of town. Since my friend drove, I picked up the tab for dinner. I paid with cash and gave it to the server in the folder that was presented to us. The tip wasn't included with that as my friend insisted on paying that and was digging in her purse for the correct amount which she then left on the table. As we left the restaurant, we passed our server who we said goodnight to and got an evil glare from in return.....I was dumbfounded until I realized she had not been back to the table and thought she had been stiffed her tip. I was so upset, I wrote to the company about it. They were apologetic and offered a meal on them but I won't be back.

  2. #152
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    Re: Tipping

    I don't think you did anything wrong, but I can also see the server's side. Usually when people leave cash tips, they leave it with the dinner amount (actually, I shouldn't say usually since I have no idea if everyone does this--but this is how my friends and I do this), so the server probably thought that she had done a good job, but that you were stiffing her anyway. I would cut her some slack 'cause this probably has happened to her on more than one occasion. I usually pay the meal on credit card and tip in cash, 'cause I figure the server will get the cash faster than if he/she has to wait for the manager to divvy up the tip on the charge card. There's also a part of me that's paranoid that the restaurant will keep the tip and not give it to the server. But on the occasions that I include the tip on the credit card, I try to tell the server that I did that so they're not disappointed thinking that I didn't leave a tip.

    Can I just say that I think you're an awesome friend for treating your friend for dinner 'cause she drove? I wish I had more friends like you. I've got great friends now but I used to have some really cheap friends who took advantage of me (I would pick them up, drive, pay for parking, and often paid for the tickets to the play or what not and they never bought me a soda, much less a meal--they just paid for their half, if that).

  3. #153
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    Re: Tipping

    I have done this very thing on many occasions dining out with friends. One of us will get the check and the other the tip and leave it on the table.

    I say the server was wrong to give you the evil stare on the way out and you should have written the company.

    I bet she felt sheepish when she went back and saw the tip on the table.

    And I'm perfectly willing to bet that a LOT of people do this. As I know that I have done it with friends hundreds of times. And a lot of times, we need change back from the server in order to leave a tip. So they just shouldn't assume you have not left a tip until they've been back to the table.

    I actually hate the whole idea of tipping and the way people are paid in restaurants. I think tipping puts a lot of pressure on the diner and people tip even if service is bad. I for one, tip an amount equal to the service. More if its good, less if its bad and I've resorted to leaving a note as to why the tip was so small as I want them to know that had we not had to ask 15 times for a drink refill, her tip would have been higher.
    But the whole pressure of trying to figure out what to tip in restaurants, hair salons, etc. does stress some people out.

    Anyway, I think whether you tipped or not it was not the server's place to give you an evil glare. Someone like that doesn't need to be in the service industry. I realize servers do get stiffed. But a really good one will roll with the punches and not jeopardize their employers business acting like a 2 year old.
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  4. #154
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    Re: Tipping

    I may be in the minority, but I don't think an evil glare is a big deal. If she spit at me or was rude to me during the meal, then there'd be some issues. If the server had been friendly serving me and then gave me an evil glare when I was leaving, I'd probably ask what was wrong...and hope that she would say something. Of course, she may take my own advice (from the Koffee Klatch) and say back to me, "What's wrong with you?"

    And this is just a personal preference, but when I treat, I like to leave the tip as well. I appreciate my friends' generosity in wanting to leave a tip, but I prefer to just pay for the whole thing if I'm offering to take them out anyhow. Part of it is that if I'm paying for the meal, and they leave the tip, they have to know what the total was so that they can leave 20%. And if I'm treating, I'd rather they not know. I know...I'm weird! But many people will insist on leaving the tip if they've been treated and I can certainly understand why they'd insist as well.

  5. #155
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    Re: Tipping

    But if you're on an outing and one pays for the tip and the other pays for the meal, don't you hate it if the one tipping is cheap and doesn't want to leave even 15%? If I'm treating the meal, I also leave the tip. That way if they have given outstanding service, they'll be tipped accordingly.

  6. #156
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    Re: Tipping

    Depending on how far away I was from the evil glare and I would have waved and said, your tip is on the table, thanks and have a nice day!

  7. #157
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    Re: Tipping

    Tipping can be such a controversial topic anyway.
    My best friend and I used to go out so often that we pretty much knew that one would pay this time and then the other would pay and we generally ate in places like Chili's and Applebee's, you could pretty much figure out what the tip was. Even though we were such good friends that one of us would tell the other the total for the tip. It was just a thing with us as we ate lunch together at least once a week. I miss that a lot. But I am going out to lunch today with a friend here. But it is going to be dutch. No way can I afford to treat her and I'm not letting her treat me. So dutch is good sometimes.
    But I can understand your and Famita's point when you wouldn't want the other to know. My BF and I were like two peas, so to us it wasn't a big deal. Now the person I'm meeting today, I wouldn't feel that comfortable with yet to ask her the total or show her the total for one of us to leave the tip.
    so I can see your point, so I guess we don't disagree. I was just thinking about my BF and I eating out all the time and that was TOTALLY different. We know each others bra size, so if you know that, then sharing the total for lunch is no big deal.
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  8. #158
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    Re: Tipping

    Quote Originally Posted by PGM35;2539410;
    Depending on how far away I was from the evil glare and I would have waved and said, your tip is on the table, thanks and have a nice day!
    That's the perfect way to handle it! I'll have to squirrel that tip away in case I ever run into a situation like that...

    myrosiedog
    , I feel so bad for you that you're so far away from your best friend.

  9. #159
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    Re: Tipping

    Quote Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2539419;
    That's the perfect way to handle it! I'll have to squirrel that tip away in case I ever run into a situation like that...

    myrosiedog
    , I feel so bad for you that you're so far away from your best friend.
    I miss it too, but we talk almost everyday on the phone and email each other. And she was up here in June for a short visit.
    she's just gotten remarried, so I look at it this way, I probably wouldn't be spending that much time with her right now anyway as she's still on her "honeymoon".
    And I will be seeing her soon again as another close friend is having her 40th birthday and gave me her frequent flyer miles to fly to Florida for the occasion. So I get to see both my good friends in a couple weeks.
    And I'm sure there will be eating out and tipping.

    When we eat out with my brother. He has been known to pull out a pen and figure out EVERYONE's portion of the bill, tip included and write it down and hand it to each person. The man has the first nickel he ever made, so I am not surprised he does this. We all tease the heck out of him though as its just so funny. The last time he tried to do this was about 2 years ago and my husband just looked at him and said: Don't waste your brain power, I've got the whole thing." I think it kind of shamed my bro and he paid the next time we went out.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
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  10. #160
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    Re: Tipping

    I have actually gotten into the habit of handing the server the tip on my way out, so I know for sure it is going to the server, and not to the crook at the next table or whatever
    - The Dean Martin Show -

    Petula Clark: You know they say you can't buy happiness.
    Dean Martin: No but you can pour it..

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