Tipping

lei, chances are the wealthiest never waited tables and feel entitled... I've found that some of the richest people I know are the stingiest...they'll always say, "I'll get it the next time" but never actually do. I also find it amazing that people will rationalize about why it's OK to tip 15% or less at a small mom and pop restaurant/diner when the check is ridiculously cheap. When we go out for breakfast, or to one of our favorite Thai restaurants where the tab comes to less than $10 a person, I always tip more than 20%. These servers have to eat, too, and 15% of $10 is $1.50. I have no problem doubling that.

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Originally Posted by lei;2478530;

It's funny this thread came up today. Just yesterday I was dining with a gaggle of visiting in-laws and they were undertipping (it came to about 12%) for outstanding service in an inexpensive restaurant. They are not poor and it would have been embarrassing, so I made sure there was more on the pile before we left.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one does this! If I think the tip is too small, I'll just ease a couple of bill onto the table without making it obvious; I don't want to embarrass the short-tipper either!

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Originally Posted by Lois Lane;2478538;

lei, chances are the wealthiest never waited tables and feel entitled... I've found that some of the richest people I know are the stingiest...they'll always say, "I'll get it the next time" but never actually do. I also find it amazing that people will rationalize about why it's OK to tip 15% or less at a small mom and pop restaurant/diner when the check is ridiculously cheap. When we go out for breakfast, or to one of our favorite Thai restaurants where the tab comes to less than $10 a person, I always tip more than 20%. These servers have to eat, too, and 15% of $10 is $1.50. I have no problem doubling that.

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:nod Right on about both points, I think. I've gotten the "I'll get it next time line" too. :pissedoff And yeah, whereas at fancy restaurants, 15-20% can be a lot of money, at inexpensive places, it's practically nothing so I'm happy to go over.

ETA: Right on, queenb! :up

Yikes, that's a tough one though when the tab is being paid by credit or debit card. A friend of mine and I always switch off who gets the ticket when we meet up for happy hour or dinner. I didn't realize he was short-tipping until he saw "my" ticket one night and commented on how large my tip amout was - for the record, it was right at 20% but our total was a tad higher than normal that night as we were celebrating something and had a bottle of nice wine with dinner. After that, I always wondered exactly how much was he tipping these folks who recognized us and remembered our drink orders and comp'd us free appetizers sometimes, and basically gave us the best service ever - how was I supposed to even out the tip when he put it on his card every time... ? I eventually just broke down and asked him if he thought the service we always got wasn't woth the extra $$ for a decent tip. He was a bit surprised, but understood what I was saying and started tipping at least 20%. It was never an issue whether he could afford it or not - he just thought $10 was a good tip, whether our tab was $30, $50, or $100.

But I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who watches this. Sometimes I feel bad if I'm not the one paying and I still feel I have to check to see that the servers/waitstaff are properly tipped.

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Originally Posted by remote_goddess;2478561;

....After that, I always wondered exactly how much was he tipping these folks who recognized us and remembered our drink orders and comp'd us free appetizers sometimes, and basically gave us the best service ever....

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Well that's another point, aside from doing the right thing, Mr. lei and I go to the same places repeatedly, and they definitely remember who is generous or stingy. When visitors come, we sometimes have to make up for them, not only to make sure the servers get compensated properly, but also so our food won't get spat on next time we go. :lol

As a former waitress and bartender....I know what it's like to make a living on tips. I tend to tip a little more if the service is good. If it's horrible, I still tip, but with the standard 10-15%. If the service is great, then they, of course, get a bigger tip. I've never stiffed a single wait person. You never know who has a child home that needs diapers that day. ;)

I have a question:

Does anyone have a good way of approaching a friend or relative about their low tipping?

The reason I ask is, when I dine with my grandmother, she tends to leave about a 15% tip but often I find that she tips under that. I feel bad adding money to it if she isn't looking because she's my grandmother and grew up in a different era and I know she's not tipping low on purpose, but at the same time, I feel the wait staff needs to be appropriately compensated on a good meal.

Also (and sorry if I begin to rant here) one of my best friends SEVERELY under tips. Me and my friends tend to go out to eat a lot and if we separate the checks (which is what we tend to do because some of us carry cash and some use cards), she'll tip so low that my other friends and I tip extremely high to make up for it. She once tipped $2.00 on a $28.00 dollar meal with excellent service and food!!! Me and my friends tipped about 40% or more to try to make up for it!

So I'm just wondering if anyone has had to approach people about low tipping before and how they did that without offending people.

To me, grandparents are pretty much untouchable. The only thing I can think of is, if you can afford it, tell grandma you enjoy your time with her so much you'd love it if she'd let you leave the tip.

I don't know if this would work on your friend, but I got a little wallet-sized tip card that shows the amount to leave based on the bill and the percentage you want to give (it starts at 10% and goes up in 5% increments). Whenever I whip that out, everyone wants to use it. So what you do is get permanent marker and line out the 10% column. Maybe she'll "get it" or ask why you crossed out the column and you could explain that under 15% isn't enough. (I got it at a checkout display in a bookstore)
During dinner, bring up the subject of tipping as if it were an ordinary conversation topic. Maybe talk about this thread - and between that and the tip card, hope she gets the hint.

An easy way to figure tip % is to just double the sales tax amount. Most sales tax rates are between 6 to 10%. Personally I find it quite easy to determine 20% of any amount. However when I go to dinner by myself I find even 20% not to be enough. Being in the restaurant business for almost 40 years now and having a mother who was a single parent raising 5 kids on $25 a week plus tips I have a tendency to tip heavy. As Momma used to say "She could have 5 kids at home like I do and needs to buy groceries" so I always remember that. :biglove

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Originally Posted by Unklescott;2479731;

An easy way to figure tip % is to just double the sales tax amount. Most sales tax rates are between 6 to 10%. Personally I find it quite easy to determine 20% of any amount.

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That's a good tip! (sorry...:lol) I use a similar method, I move the decimal point for the total over one place and double it for 20%. I generally round up from there.