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Thread: High School Essay Quotes

  1. #1
    Nerds Just Wanna Have Fun Boredom's Avatar
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    High School Essay Quotes

    Here are some pretty bad essay quotes, gotten from http://www.algebra.com/fun/Essays/ ... just so funny I had to share them with the FORT community

    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

    2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    7. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree.

    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

    14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

    18. Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

    19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

    21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

    22. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

    23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

    24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

    26. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

    27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

    28. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

    29. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

    30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

  2. #2
    Ready? haejin's Avatar
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    22. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
    Heh.
    Gustav Holst was right!

  3. #3
    FORT Fogey
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    22. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
    What class was this essay written in? No class I ever attended

  4. #4
    Under Investigation Tirlittan's Avatar
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    At least those people have some sort of an imagination

    And this one... yikes...
    30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
    ps. This is just my opinion in the matter.

  5. #5
    FORT Newbie kelsie24's Avatar
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    these are hilarious!!!
    You never lose by loving; you always lose by holding back.

  6. #6
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work
    ~~~~~~
    I liked this one. It's simple, it's meaningful.

    They may be quotes from a creative writing class but who knows, any topic can have an essay written about it.
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  7. #7
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    they're all similies..I'd guess creative writing class
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  8. #8
    FORT Fogey
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    I know I've seen this before, but I still laughed so hard

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