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Thread: Are You Nuts?

  1. #1
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Are You Nuts?

    This is in the latest issue of the Weekly World News.

    Are You Nuts?
    Friday April 23, 2004

    You can find out if you're nuts and don't know it, with tips from a leading psychiatrist.

    "Millions of Americans are clinically insane but they don't realize it because, well, they're crazy," says maverick Dr. Barbara Flenel.

    "But it's certainly nothing to be embarrassed about. Some of our greatest historical figures and celebrities have been stark, raving mad. Billionaire Howard Hughes was an obsessive-compulsive lunatic who washed his hands hundreds of times a day because he was terrified of germs."

    Finding out whether you are nuts can help you avoid making costly and embarrassing mistakes, says the expert.

    Here are three "yes" and "no" questions that, when answered honestly, will indicate whether you're riding the "sanity train" or the "cuckoo bus," says Flenel, adding that if your friends and loved ones don't want to answer the questions themselves, you may feel free to answer for them and tell them what you've concluded.

    Remember: You must answer each question with a "yes" or a "no" -- no hedging!

    1) Do you ever feel that life is more complicated than it needs to be?

    If you answered "no," you have an admirable grip on reality and the kind of can-do attitude that it takes to be a winner in life.

    If you answered "yes," that is not a good sign. You are struggling to cope and in time may crack or even "go postal" and kill somebody, especially if you answer "yes" to the next question.

    2) Have you ever wished that the good things in life would happen all the time and the bad things would just go away?

    If you answered "no," once again, you've proved that you are capable of rolling with the punches, and that you can embrace life and live it to the fullest -- which are hallmarks of the sane mind.

    If you answered "yes," you are deeply and possibly even dangerously troubled. By rejecting the half of reality that's not to your liking, you are constantly struggling to come to terms with "what is" and "what could be." Even worse, you've sliced your psyche in half, rendering yourself "schizo."

    King Midas -- who wanted everything to turn gold -- suffered this way. He was extremely unhappy, and, eventually, the famed, fairy-tale royal went stark, raving mad.

    3) Do you think other people are the cause of your problems?

    If you answered "yes," you are both infantile and out-of-balance, a classic "nut." The chances of you ever finding meaning and happiness in life are slim. After awhile, this misery may cause you to fall completely off your rocker.

    If you answered "no," you are level-headed and eventempered. Both of these are characteristics of a sane and healthy individual, psychiatrist Flenel says.

    "If you are sane, congratulations -- and if you are a nut, take heart," continues the Los Angeles-based expert. "Today really is the first day of the rest of your life. And if you want to change, you can.

    "If you've got money, make an appointment with a psychiatrist. If you're poor, visit your state-supported mental health center and stand in line. Either way, you'll find yourself on the road to recovery from an illness you didn't even know you had."
    http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20040423/108273240005.html

  2. #2
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    I also answer to Macadamia, I guess
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  3. #3
    FORT Fanatic masashi's Avatar
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    Looks like i need to go see a shrink!

  4. #4
    I have a new love now JunkieGirl's Avatar
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    Load up the cuckoo bus!! I need to get downtown, go postal and kill somebody!
    Sheldon Cooper: Woman, you're playing with forces beyond your ken

    Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

  5. #5
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    Obviously the Weekly World News is trying to make me feel like I'm nuts. I wish bad people like them would just go away, they make things so complicated.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  6. #6
    Glad 4 Vlad! :) Tigrazhia's Avatar
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    Clear room on that bus, I'm coming with to the nuthouse
    "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."

  7. #7
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    of course life is more complicated than it has to be. Stupid freakin' people, I think I'll have to take 'em out.
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  8. #8
    FORT Fogey
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    Where are all these so-called "sane" people? Let me at 'em! I'll get 'em! I'll get 'em all!

  9. #9
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    oh pahleze!
    I'm a nutter I guess... or I could also be called a wishful thinker :rolleyes
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  10. #10
    FORT Fogey DjDeluxay's Avatar
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    ok i only got one yes and two no's. But one answer says "if you said no again."
    kind of confused me.
    but two out of three is good

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