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Thread: Friendship Advice

  1. #21
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
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    I, too, am late coming to this thread, but I wanted to pass along my sympathy to both of you (Ducky and MissF). As for your so-called "friend," MissF, what kind of friend would act like she did? That is not a true friend IMHO. I think you'd be best to just move on and forget about her as a friend. I'm not saying be an outright bitch to her when you see her or anything like that (although if I were in your shoes, I probably would be...), but if your paths cross, just be cordial and nothing else.

  2. #22
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    I appear to be the last person to view this thread. I'm sorry to hear about both experiences, Miss F!

    It appears the person you thought was your best friend all this time was only the side she chose to show you, and now that you've seen the other side, you need to make a decision on how to handle it.

    You can either forget it, and something like this latest incident will almost certainly happen again in the future,

    Or you can confront her, make her listen to you and see where you're coming from, although some people there's just no reaching,

    Or you can drop her like a hot potato, cut your losses, and start again fresh with your other friends.

    I'd probably go for option #3, but that's just me.

    Whatever way you decide to go, we here at the FORT will be there for you.

  3. #23
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    I'm so sorry to read about this situation and I agree with those who have stated (what you already know) that she isn't a true friend of yours. You'd be better without her in your life, sad but true. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
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  4. #24
    FORT Fanatic ClaraBella's Avatar
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    Dear Miss Filangi, I just came across this thread and need to reply. First of all, I wish to commend you on your courage and fortitude in dealing with this in the way you have, up to now. Bearing in mind that I am 46 years old, I would like to offer some suggestions. I would advise you to get some counseling for this, as the most important thing to bear in mind is that you need to emotionally vomit and the only way to do that is to talk to a counselor someone who is trained in this type of area, on a regular basis for a while. If you don't, you may end up having some kind of crisis later in life where this is just going to resurface and make matters worse. If you haven't already started, please get counseling. As to your "friend" I agree that she has some issues and someday may come to realize that she did not do the right thing in this situation. If you don't want to write her off totally at this time, then I would suggest that you let her know that the doors remain open between the two of you and give her time, I suspect that in time she will come to you after she realizes that she handled the situtation wrong and make amends. This may take years, so be patient. Good luck and keep strong.

  5. #25
    Ken's cookie! KylieGrant's Avatar
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    I'm very late, but I wanted to give you some reassurance, Miss F.

    First of all, thanks so much for sharing with us, I know it must have been hard. You're a very strong person, and we love you. :::::hugs:::::::

    From a psychological viewpoint:

    From what you've said about your "friend" it seems to me that she has some very deep issues. She seems to have a strong, strong need for male affection, this is obvious by the fact that she:
    1) Didn't believe you- she was/is in denial, because she knows that believing you would have meant she should break up with him, severing the relationship she so desperately needed.
    2) She didn't confront him about it- she didn't want to make him mad and risk an end of the relationship
    3) At the party, she attatched herself to him- by leaving you alone, she proved what is most important to her. By staying by his side, she once again proved the need for affirmation and affection from a male at any cost.

    It appears that you two have been friends for a very long time, but she has not been the best of friends to you, sweetie. She is your true friend only when it is conveinent for her. I know how that is, I've been there, and it hurts.

    My advice for you sweetie is to remain 'cordial' with her if you see her in public for the time being. I'm a believer that you can say anything to a person if you say it in the right way and tone- so I would gently confront her about it when you have everything together and in prospective.

    Be strong, girl. We love you.

  6. #26
    On ice duckgirl's Avatar
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    by leaving you alone, she proved what is most important to her
    That's basically what I was trying to say but it took me about a zillion more words.

  7. #27
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for the advice that I so desperately needed and for all the support. You truly are a wonderful group.

    Little update.

    My 'friend' emailed me last night and told me that it was unfortunate, but her 'instincts' told her that I was lying and she needed to follow them. She hoped that we'd agree to disagree and that we'd get over it. Oh, and she's going to his Christmas party.

    So, I basically told her to fluck off.

    I can't be friends with someone who doesn't believe me on such a serious subject. It's a copout and I do think that deep down, she knows I'm telling the truth, but finding an 'out' gives her an excuse to act the way she's acting.

    I'm sad, but last night at the Birthday Party for my sister, I spent about 3 hours talking to my sister's bf's sister, who is also a fairly good friend of mine. We're going to make more of an effort to hang out. And like everyone else, she was HORRIFIED that my friend did that to me.

    When God closes a door -----

    Thanks again.
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  8. #28
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
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    Sounds like it all worked out for the best for you, MissF... You don't need "friends" like that one around you. You deserve much better than that.

  9. #29
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    Miss F, I seem to be the last person to have read this thread. I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a terrible ordeal.
    This girl is not a true friend. If she were, then she would have kicked the shit out of that jerk the other night! I believe that whatever happens in life, happens for a reason.& the other night proved that this girl was not a true friend.

  10. #30
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    Miss F.
    Sounds like you are moving on to a brighter future. I am excited for you!
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

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