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  1. #41
    FORT Fanatic VeeJay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett530
    Why did I get married? Because I was young and idealistic and fancied myself in love. I was hoping for a friend, lover, and companion. So much for idealism. I also realize with great hindsight that I had no idea what the heck I wanted out of life at 19. I have grown so much over the last decade. Would I get married again? Because I am still idealistic enough to believe in love. Surprisingly, I'm not too jaded by past experience. I know my “Prince Charming” is out there, and I have kissed many frogs to find him....
    I love my husband and all but I think if I ever got divorced I really couldn't see myself EVER getting married again. But I don't think I'll ever get divorced either.
    A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself. - Verbal Kint from the movie The Usual Suspects

  2. #42
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeeJay
    I love my husband and all but I think if I ever got divorced I really couldn't see myself EVER getting married again. But I don't think I'll ever get divorced either.
    Ditto.
    I can't see doing this twice. Of course I have told my husband if I do ever get married again it's going to be to a woman. I want to have a wife, they seem to be handy things to have around.

    My comment to my husband on many things (having a 3rd child, why I don't sew curtiens for the living room, why I hit the bush next to the house with the car once a week) is "well when you have your second wife". His comments range from "do you think I'm going to go through this again" to "she'll be ordered from a catalog and won't speak English".
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  3. #43
    FORT Fogey
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    I am willing to give the whole marriage thing one more shot, but only one. I would love to be in a marriage where I could say, “I really love my husband.” I used to marvel at women who could say that with such sincerity. I spent the majority of 10 years resenting the heck out of mine. He never wanted to grow up and figured the world owed him a favor. :rolleyes

  4. #44
    MIA, RIP, or Busy...
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    Quote Originally Posted by nlmcp
    Ditto.
    I can't see doing this twice. Of course I have told my husband if I do ever get married again it's going to be to a woman. I want to have a wife, they seem to be handy things to have around.

    My comment to my husband on many things (having a 3rd child, why I don't sew curtiens for the living room, why I hit the bush next to the house with the car once a week) is "well when you have your second wife". His comments range from "do you think I'm going to go through this again" to "she'll be ordered from a catalog and won't speak English".
    Sounds like the two of you have a nice "understanding".
    A Bachelor fan til it dies a slow death and oddly enough, A Rock of Love fan...finest hair extensions from Europe and all. ;-)

  5. #45
    Anachronism before Noon Cat Bowling Champion Anemic Dog's Avatar
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    I've been married seven years, and for the first six, I thought it was wonderful. But she has always wanted kids. I wasn't so sure - I don't like OPC, I felt I could be perfectly happy not ever having them.

    When she reached 30, I decided to compromise and promise to start trying in two years. Three years later, junior was born.

    Now, it feels like I've lost my best friend, and there's a noisy, screechy banshee in the house 24/7 (I work at home). We see each other less and fight a lot more. And the fights are real, not the make up in ten minutes variety. She truly resents me because I don't much like having a baby around (I just don't find babies cute, adorable or anything other than a pain in the ass).

    I hate the clutter in the house - I feel like I'm always cleaning, and there are no clutter-free rooms in the house other than my office. I hate that my wife is so tired by the end of the day that all she can do is watch television.

    I don't want to become a statistic, but there's been a huge amount of damage to our marriage in the last year. I know a lot of this is my fault, and things would improve if I took on a greater share of baby-tending, but every time I sit with him, I end up staring at the clock waiting for relief. I'm just not a good parent.

    How do I give myself an attitude adjustment when I've been this way for more than 30 years?
    Passing over to the Dark Side

  6. #46
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    Well, according to my mother, my father had nothing to do with us when we were babies. I find this hard to believe because from when I could remember he was a great dad. I guess he found infants boring but by the time we were about 4 or 5 ish, he found us more interesting and would spend alot of time with us. He also by this time figured out if he got the 4 of us ready for bed, my mom would be much more interested in "other activites" (excuse me while I have a ewwww moment thinking about my mother like this) because she had time to chill out at the end of the evening.

    IN other words Anemic....I don't think you are alone in thinking like this. Sometimes babyhood and toddler hood isn't alot fun. I liked it but I also recall moments I wanted to tear my hair out and I'm sure I wasn't the sweetest to my husband. (luckily he loves infants, it was the toddlers that drove him nuts)
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  7. #47
    Plotting spegs's Avatar
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    Anemic, the hardest period of our marriage was that first year after baby #1 was born. I was always in the final stages of sleep-deprivation-collapse, and he was working full-time and going to school full-time. I think that if we hadn't completely ruled out divorce before we'd gotten married, it would have come up. Some periods of life were simply meant to be endured rather than enjoyed. If you get one of those crabby babies that never stops crying, then you just inherited such a period. My advice is give it a little time. Try not to let the house overwhelm you. The kid will grow out of it, and end up being a very interesting little person who looks a lot like you. Give your wife some slack--the hormone thing doesn't quit for several months, longer if you nurse. She probably doesn't like the way she feels either. This is a down swing, but the up swing will follow. In the second year of my first born's life, my husband and I really got it together. We did a lot of cementing in our relationship at that time. And none of the other kids ever had the same kind of impact, either. It made us a lot stronger.
    "Look, you love me, and I love you. Maybe in a different time, a different place, this would work out. But we both know that only one of us is leaving this room alive, and I'm the one holding the flame thrower." - Film Fakers

  8. #48
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    That is the most thoughtful, meaningful thing I've read all day Spegs.

    Hang in there Anemic. When's the last time you and your sweetheart went out on a date? Having been there and done that (now that I am remarried), I can tell you from the first experience, a Grand Canyon can develop between lovers if the effort is not made to be "husband/wife" versus mommy/daddy.
    A Bachelor fan til it dies a slow death and oddly enough, A Rock of Love fan...finest hair extensions from Europe and all. ;-)

  9. #49
    FORT Fogey joeguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anemic Dog
    (I just don't find babies cute, adorable or anything other than a pain in the ass).
    I feel the same here Dog,....thats why i married a lady with kids out of the house, though they still are a pain int he rear at times..........just one plus to my marriage....no kids to worry about
    Last edited by Ilikai; 04-02-2004 at 05:44 PM.

  10. #50
    FORT Fanatic VeeJay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nlmcp
    Of course I have told my husband if I do ever get married again it's going to be to a woman. I want to have a wife, they seem to be handy things to have around.
    Now that's what I call an idea!
    A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself. - Verbal Kint from the movie The Usual Suspects

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