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Thread: Thinking like a Child

  1. #21
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    When I was a child growing up in a small town in Wyoming, the local bank used to leave blank checkbooks in the checkout lanes at the grocery store. I was always fascinated at how my parents would walk up, sign a little piece of paper, and leave with all these groceries.

    I asked Mom and Dad for one of those checkbooks, and they wound up bringing one home one day. I was ecstatic! I immediately wanted to know what I I needed to do to start getting all the "free" stuff I wanted!
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  2. #22
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    When I was four I used to think my brother was psychic. He would tell me which way a car would turn at the stop sign across from our house. They turned the direction he said EVERY time. a couple of years later I discovered that every car had blinkers. I was so mad.

    I used to think that the news anchors could see you through your TV and would never change clothes in the living room. My mother had a hard time getting me to believe that they could not see me.
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

  3. #23
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    I of course told all my friends in England that the riots were in fact IN our back yard!
    TOO FUNNY! You musta been scared though.

    I was 13, honestly, when I found out where pickles came from. I thought they grew in the ground.

    When I was little, I thought that all grandparents live on farms because all of mine did. Also, my grandfather drove a school bus and when I was about 4, before I started school full time, I'd ride along with him. All the kids would call him by his first name and I'd get SO mad. "HIS NAME IS GRANDPA" Kids even called him grandpa. Guess I scared them.
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.


  4. #24
    FORT Fogey
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    Miss F.. that is sooooo funny and feif,, totally can see how you could believe that one..!!

    We went thru a toll road on the way to Tulsa the other day and my daughter said,, 'we have to pay to get into Oklahoma?' it was funny

    Hey Miss F that is a good idea for a new thread...

  5. #25
    muddy amna's Avatar
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    This may be a common one, but i used to think that the people on tv , were really IN the tv set.

    My mom used to tell me that if i ever swallowed orange pips, an orange tree would grow out of me & sprout out of my mouth.

    Once, we were in a supermarket & they announced over the loud speaker that they were closing for the day & i went hysterical thinking that my mom wouldn't get to the check-out in time & that we would have to spend the night locked up in the supermarket!

  6. #26
    Smiling again... Zhora's Avatar
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    One day, (when I was about 4 years old), I noticed that as we were driving on a straight road my dad was ever so slightly turning the steering wheel from side to side. I asked him why he was moving the wheel when the road was straight. He told me that the road wasn't completely straight, that he had to make adjustments all the time for the little curves that I couldn't see.

    Oh my god. I thought my dad was So Awesome. I didn't see any curves, but he could with his trained eye. I had the smartest dad in the whole world.
    Iím haunted a little this evening by feelings that have no vocabulary and events that should be explained in dimensions of lint rather than words.
    -Richard Brautigan

  7. #27
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Zhora! I had the same thoughts about my dad. He used to let me hold the steering wheel while we were driving. I couldn't figure out why the car kept drifting all over the place. My curves were horrendous, too. So jerky. My dad was obviously some sort of driving god.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  8. #28
    FORT Fogey
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    when my daughter was almost 4 I would let her turn the tv on and off and put a video in by herself,, one day she came running in and told me her tv had taken a picture of her.. she thought that when it shut off and did that little flash thing it was taking her picture..lol


    This was good too.. right after she started pre-school where they are learning to use computers,, she wanted to use mine,, she told me a bunch of things she knew.. then she said and I know the first rule about using a computer too! " if your going to suck your thumb or pick your nose you have to wash your hands before you touch the key-board!" We would all be wise to remember that!!!

  9. #29
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    I am the favorite uncle to my six nieces and nephews... and no surprise really as I spoil them quite a bit, and extracted years worth of revenge on my family by buying them the most noisy gifts possible when they were little... but I digress.

    One day, I was taking my sister's five year old son out for a dinner, and we were chatting. He was a big power rangers fan back then, and I had read a bit about the violence, etc in that cartoon.

    So I asked him in a normal adult sort of way: "Brian Michael, do you feel that the Power Rangers are violent?"

    He turned to me with big blue eyes and with a very serious tone responded in these exact words:

    "Well Uncle Bill, I have found that the early episodes of the Power Rangers did indeed contain a high level of violence, but as I have shared with Mom, recently the show has made a good attempt at cutting back on that. I doubt that I will be emotionally scarred from watching it."

    If was everything I could do to avoid driving off the road I was so amazed.
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  10. #30
    FORT Fogey
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    NO WAY,, did someone take him aside and say hey kid we need to save Power rangers so here is what you should say...

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