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Thread: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

  1. #931
    Leave No Trace ADKLove's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeeJay
    Your story could be mine ADK. I was raised with 4 other brother and sisters and I have only one kid (mine's a boy though and you have a girl don't you?). Any who just thought I'd note the similarity. Odd.
    Coincidence. Yes, I have a girl (Emma - she's in my av). I'm the middle child (we went boy, girl, girl (me), girl, boy). Ironically, 2 of my siblings have no children (by choice) and both my younger brother and I have only 1 each. (My older sister has 2, but she's a teacher and all kind of patient...she was always the "mommy" type, being the eldest sister).

    My parents swear its a backlash thing - so many kids growing up that we wanted some peace and quiet (year, right) as adults. (And own our own stuff - no sharing, no hand-me-downs, you know, I'm sure )
    Last edited by ADKLove; 07-13-2004 at 03:07 PM.
    Love many, trust a few, and always paddle your own canoe

  2. #932
    FORT Fanatic imajunkie2's Avatar
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    I will come from the other end of the spectrum. I am an only child and had 3 of my own. Hubby has 5 siblings so I guess we kind of met in the middle so to speak..

    Our girls were born in 1996, 1999 & 2002, the 3 yr plan I call it.

    I say if you and your hubby want another go for it !!

  3. #933
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by applesauce
    Hey all you parents out there. I am curious....does anyone out there have 3 children? My husband and I are discussing having another baby. We both have always wanted 3 but we are also in a really great position right now with our 2 (a son, almost 5 and daughter, almost 2. We are in our mid/late 30's and are thinking of trying to get pregnant again this Fall. I am all for it but sometimes wonder if I will be able to handle another one. My son is super sweet and mellow. My daughter is really loud and a complete busybody.

    I would really love some perspective from those with the experience. Thanks!
    This is a decision no one can make but you, but I'll give you a little input.

    We only had two because I injured my back when I was pregnant with #2 and it ended up rupturing when he was not quite one year old. I was from a family of three girls and wouldn't have minded more.

    I have a good friend who had three kids who says that #2 is a HUGE adjustment, but #3 is just a ripple on the water. I've heard similar sentiments from other moms with more than two kids.

    About the timing, being 8-9 months pregnant in the summer is no fun. And schools encourage summer babies to be held back.
    "Fish are friends, not food, but everything else is fair game." ~ Pating, Survivor Cagayan Pool

  4. #934
    Plotting spegs's Avatar
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    I have a seven year old, a three year old, and a two year old. I've always heard that three is the one that breaks you, and, so far, that's my experience. It's something to do with the fact that I only have two hands, and suddenly that's not enough. Of course, our last two are really close together, and both have speech issues, which is tough. Plus, #3 is a wirey little monkey who can scale a bookcase to the ceiling in two seconds and climb onto the stovetop with ease. It's getting a little bit easier as the three year old gets more self-sufficient.

    That being said, how could we live without our little monkey? He's absolutely hysterical, and his eyelashes are so long they practically blind him. He flutters those things and gets out of a world of trouble!

    If you decide to have another baby, no matter how hard it is, that baby will own your heart just like the other two, and you will never regret him/her.
    "Look, you love me, and I love you. Maybe in a different time, a different place, this would work out. But we both know that only one of us is leaving this room alive, and I'm the one holding the flame thrower." - Film Fakers

  5. #935
    FORTfruity applesauce's Avatar
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    Thank for all the great feedback everyone. I know that we will make the best decision for our family. I am the first to have children in our group of friends and really don't have anyone to observe or discuss this with. I guess that's what I love about FORT!

    Spegs-your wirey little monkey sounds a lot like my daughter...only 20 months and she gets on the sofa by climbing over the back. I guess that's why I am worried about # 3...if she/he is anything like my daughter, I may not keep up. Yikes!

    Veejer-I have also heard that # 3 is just kind of absorbed into the group. That's what I would hope.

    Eva-the whole tube tying is a definite after #3...at least if I have to have another c-section. If not, then it will be the V thing for my husband.

    Oh-I agree about not wanting to be in the final months of pregnancy during summer. I was with my son and it was not fun!

    I will keep you all posted!

  6. #936
    FORT Fogey
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    Being pregnant in the summer is no fun. I had my son in June, and I was miserable. I had my daughter in October, which put me being pregnant throughout the entire FL summer, and I was double miserable. Although, I am one of those weird people that actually enjoyed being pregnant. Mine are 8 and 11 now. I stopped at two and have no plans to have any more, I am content with two, but at the same time, I wouldn't be completely opposed to having another child.

    My question is this--does anyone have an almost teenage son out there? Mine just turned 11, and I truly believe those hormones are really kicking in. It surprised me, I expect it with my girl, but never thought it would affect the boy the same. About a year or so ago, my sweet little darling boy started turning into a young man. I know that boys tend to deal with frustration in the form of anger or assertiveness. He has never dealt with frustration well, even as a baby, and it scares me that as he gets older, if he doesn't learn to channel these feelings, he'll have an awfully tough time with things.

    He is stuck in that awful in-between stage. One minute, he still wants me to hold him and reassure him, the next he wants to be completely independent and doesn't want any "mushy stuff", the next he's angry, then he cries....*sigh* My mother instinct is to pick him up and rock him and tell him I love him (Has anyone ever read "I Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch? I am afraid that's what I'll be like ), but I know that doesn't always solve the problem. As a parent, it's the worst feeling in the world when your child is hurting and you can't make it go away

    Next year really worries me. Being a June baby, he has always been almost a year younger than everyone else in his class. In elementary, it didn't matter so much, he has always been advanced in academics. But next year, he starts middle school, and I know that year is going to make a huge difference at that age. Sleepless nights, 2 am feedings, diapers, colic....in retrospect, they seemed so easy. No one told me letting them grow up was going to be the toughest part of all. *big sigh*

  7. #937
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by applesauce
    Spegs-your wirey little monkey sounds a lot like my daughter...only 20 months and she gets on the sofa by climbing over the back. I guess that's why I am worried about # 3...if she/he is anything like my daughter, I may not keep up. Yikes!
    I swear to God as I was reading this I turned around to see my 16-month-old had dragged a chair over to the fridge and was calmly plucking all the fridge magnets off the top freezer door nope, no third kid for me, thanks.
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
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  8. #938
    Under Investigation Tirlittan's Avatar
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    Well, I have two monkeys. They pile all their desks, big toys, chairs and blankets to a tower which they want to sit on. To watch TV on a five feet high pile of miscellaneous stuff. Or just to be the king of the castle. Or they take two or three chairs, stack them on top of each other to get to the top cabinets to check out if there would be any goodies hidden... Disasters waiting to happen. And mostly their timing is perfect too, they know exactly when we won't be able to see them doing this stuff. Conniving little beings they are, I am afraid to have more of them
    ps. This is just my opinion in the matter.

  9. #939
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett530
    Being pregnant in the summer is no fun. I had my son in June, and I was miserable. I had my daughter in October, which put me being pregnant throughout the entire FL summer, and I was double miserable. Although, I am one of those weird people that actually enjoyed being pregnant. Mine are 8 and 11 now. I stopped at two and have no plans to have any more, I am content with two, but at the same time, I wouldn't be completely opposed to having another child.

    My question is this--does anyone have an almost teenage son out there? Mine just turned 11, and I truly believe those hormones are really kicking in. It surprised me, I expect it with my girl, but never thought it would affect the boy the same. About a year or so ago, my sweet little darling boy started turning into a young man. I know that boys tend to deal with frustration in the form of anger or assertiveness. He has never dealt with frustration well, even as a baby, and it scares me that as he gets older, if he doesn't learn to channel these feelings, he'll have an awfully tough time with things.

    He is stuck in that awful in-between stage. One minute, he still wants me to hold him and reassure him, the next he wants to be completely independent and doesn't want any "mushy stuff", the next he's angry, then he cries....*sigh* My mother instinct is to pick him up and rock him and tell him I love him (Has anyone ever read "I Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch? I am afraid that's what I'll be like ), but I know that doesn't always solve the problem. As a parent, it's the worst feeling in the world when your child is hurting and you can't make it go away

    Next year really worries me. Being a June baby, he has always been almost a year younger than everyone else in his class. In elementary, it didn't matter so much, he has always been advanced in academics. But next year, he starts middle school, and I know that year is going to make a huge difference at that age. Sleepless nights, 2 am feedings, diapers, colic....in retrospect, they seemed so easy. No one told me letting them grow up was going to be the toughest part of all. *big sigh*
    scarlett, my son will be 12 in August. He too is just about the youngest in his class, going into 7th this year.

    Our junior high is 6-7-8 and last year was tough. He would come home from school a grouch, but not want to talk about it. Finally we found out that there was a good bit of verbal bullying going on, nothing physical, but hard to handle just the same. It doesn't help that he is extremely sensitive and takes everything to heart. Normal teasing is hard for him to take. My husband is an extremely gentle man and with no big brothers to pick on him in the safe confines of family, just an older sister who "picks" different than boys.

    We didn't call the administration because he wasn't in any danger and felt it was something he had to work through. Unfortunately, life is full of bullies and you have to learn to deal with them. Just talking about it with us helped. In my first job out of college, for a Fortune 100 company, in a shirt/tie, no casual Friday type office, there was a guy whose goal was to make me blush. Everytime I walked into a group, he'd launch into dirty jokes. Sharing this story with him helped.

    His older sister assured him that 7th would probably still be tough, but 8th was much better, and 9th great.

    Just assure him of your love, take those hugs and kisses when you can and keep an open line of communication.

    By the way, at school, I am not to acknowledge his presence if I'm there for some reason. The most I can do is raise my eyebrows at him.
    "Fish are friends, not food, but everything else is fair game." ~ Pating, Survivor Cagayan Pool

  10. #940
    FORT Fogey
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    Thanks for the insight Veejer! I worry about my little man being overly sensitive as well. I know that my time of not being allowed to acknowledge being the "parent" is coming soon.

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