The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

[cantgetenough]

Originally Posted by nlmcp

The sexiest thing in the world is a man doing dishes and dusting.

Where is my Pineapple juice?? Darn these cabana boys for sleeping.

I THINK SO TOO! Big sigh.

[Google]

 

[cantgetenough]

Originally Posted by chompstick

Ineed, what was it like growing up as one of 9?

Thanks for all the replies from moms of onlies. I'm surprised there's so many of us. We never wanted just one child, and I feel like we will always be sad that we don't have more, but we really feel like we have no choice. Our son has some neurological disorders similar to autism that make his care challenging. I'm 36 and I seriously don't know if I could manage two children, even if the second was an easy child. But therein lies the problem...on my side of the family, there are 6 cousins including my son; 4 of them have neurological problems. There is a genetic component. Not good odds. Furthermore, there are twins on both sides of our family, so that ups the odds on that. The peak age for having twins is 37. And when you have twins, the likelihood that one or both has a neurological disorder is even greater. I also had a very difficult pregnancy and spent much of it in bed. How could I handle a very active and needy 3 year old if I'm in bed for months?? Top it all off with the fact that we have no family living anywhere near us.

One thing that bothers me...I love being a mother more than anything in the world. I really came into myself as a mom, and just cherish it. I feel like if I only have one child that people will think that I really don't like children that much, or don't like being a parent, or perhaps didn't even want any children, and that's why I'm not going to have more. I hardly ever care what people think about me, but this one hits me where it hurts. Someone once said to me that you're not really a mother until you have at least 2 children.

That is so not true, the thing about having only one child!!!

My sister in law has a child with (what sounds like) a similar disorder...he is a high-functioning autistic, and even tho she has two others, I always say there is a special angel looking over all of us moms.

I remember the first thing I thought when my son was laid in my arms....WOW...this is what my parents think about me...that thought has never left me. I have such a special heart now for my mom, and cannot even imagine how she did it, what without boxes of Kraft Mac n Cheese, a hubby who was an airline pilot and gone a LOT, and four of us hellions.

I'm overjoyed with my two, but have special challenges being a single mom.

Is there anyone else on this thread who is a single mommy? I'd love to post with you.

My name is Tia.

[scarlett530]

Wow, this was a great idea! (Did I hear a rumor that Paulie is a cabana boy? )

I have two children--a boy, 10; and a girl, 8. I am also working my way through an Elementary Education degree, so soon I have will have bunches and bunches of children! My kids adore each other, but they fight like cats and dogs. My daughter is a total diva, she can't sit still, and reminds me of a little tornado. My son can spew sports statistics from memory like nobody's business. I am starting to see what I think are signs of those little male hormones starting to kick in. He is getting really sensitive, and has taken to soaking in the tub for an hour each night (instead of the typical boy splash-splash, I'm done.) He will be starting middle school next year, and if you think it is hard to let your baby go to kindergarten, you ain't seen nothing yet. I just want to grab him and kick and scream and say "not my baby!"

[VeeJay]

Originally Posted by chompstick

...I love being a mother more than anything in the world. I really came into myself as a mom, and just cherish it. I feel like if I only have one child that people will think that I really don't like children that much, or don't like being a parent, or perhaps didn't even want any children, and that's why I'm not going to have more. I hardly ever care what people think about me, but this one hits me where it hurts. Someone once said to me that you're not really a mother until you have at least 2 children.

I agree, not that motherhood is for everyone, but I felt so completed with the birth of my son. It's amazingly wonderful how such a tiny thing brought out the true woman in me.
And as for what people think, you can't let other people's petty opinions influence such monumental decisions concerning your life. You know in your heart what's best for you.

Originally Posted by scarlett530

He will be starting middle school next year, and if you think it is hard to let your baby go to kindergarten, you ain't seen nothing yet. I just want to grab him and kick and scream and say "not my baby!"

Poor you. I totally empathize.

[chompstick]

Originally Posted by VeeJay

I agree, not that motherhood is for everyone, but I felt so completed with the birth of my son. It's amazingly wonderful how such a tiny thing brought out the true woman in me.
And as for what people think, you can't let other people's petty opinions influence such monumental decisions concerning your life. You know in your heart what's best for you.

I certainly wouldn't let other people's opinions influence my decisions on anything, let alone an issue like this. I have a very strong self-worth, so I'm generally not worried about what people think of me. And I don't buy into their opinions, especially about not being a mother if you have just one. My point was that it just really saddens me. Sigh.

[VeeJay]

Originally Posted by chompstick

I certainly wouldn't let other people's opinions influence my decisions on anything, let alone an issue like this. I have a very strong self-worth, so I'm generally not worried about what people think of me. And I don't buy into their opinions, especially about not being a mother if you have just one. My point was that it just really saddens me. Sigh.

Good for you. Wonderful, strong women make excellent mothers. And yes it is really sad. I've heard people say that as well. It's very degrading when they imply our love for our children is somehow lessened by the fact that we only have one. Or that we don't *qualify* because we don't meet their standards of motherhood.

Pass me the cabana boy before I get too depressed.

[cantgetenough]

Originally Posted by VeeJay

I agree, not that motherhood is for everyone, but I felt so completed with the birth of my son. It's amazingly wonderful how such a tiny thing brought out the true woman in me.
And as for what people think, you can't let other people's petty opinions influence such monumental decisions concerning your life. You know in your heart what's best for you.



Poor you. I totally empathize.

EVERY milestone has it moments....my youngest (7 year old boy) just lost his first upper tooth....cried me a RIVER!!!

I sobbed the first day of preschool, kindergarten for both...I've had all those moments where the teachers call and take me to task, and have actually SUFFERED my oldest's first broken heart (in third grade, no less!!!) over a girl.

I somedays think "does it get any worse???" and then I realize, every day, how could it be any better?

Having children has changed me, fundamentally. To my very core. I'm a much better person. I'm humbled every day that I'm a mom.

SIGH. Big tears welling.

I have to share my two with another family, ex and new wife. That has its own heartbreaks and challenges.

[VeeJay]

Originally Posted by cantgetenough

I have to share my two with another family, ex and new wife. That has its own heartbreaks and challenges.

My parents divorced when I was about twelve and we had to go back and forth. It never dawned on me what it must have been like for them until I just read your post. I couldn't imagine what that must be like. My heart goes out to you.

[Jewelsy]

*ahem* Have y'all thought about that Cabana Boy loaner yet?

[VeeJay]

Sure Jewelsy since you're such a sweetie.