Originally Posted by J.D.;3741895;
I remember this controversy from when my children were young. For reasons I can't remember, my husband threatened a couple of times to take the doors off the childrens' bedrooms. I was dead set against it, and the doors stayed in place. Of course this was a time when kids did not have computers and TVs in their rooms, so today things may be different. BUT we as parents have to give our children their privacy, with the understanding that they are not to lock themselves into their rooms at any time. We are still their parents and should have the right to enter their rooms after knocking, and they have the obligation to open the door to us when we do want to enter. And thus the children learn also that we parents are also entitled to our privacy, and if our door is closed, they must knock first.
We also have to hope that children are learning what we are trying to teach them, and that TRUST is a very important concept in this life. By teaching our children properly, we trust that they will follow our values. Not all will, of course, but we have to hope. Locking the door from either side is negating the two-way street of parenthood.
I know this sounds real serious, but the "door" issue has many components.
When they go through puberty, they don't want us to see them, and they are entitled to their privacy. It is only when they violate our trust thart we have the right to be more demanding as to what is going on behind that door.
And, on a lighter note, teenagers are inevitably messy. If you take the doors off, you have to look at the mess. If you leave the door on, you don't have to look at it. I learned that one early!!!
Hope this is helpful. From a parent of grown up kids and a grandmother.