The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents - Page 55

Muduh · 03-24-2004, 05:28 PM

chomp, as a mother and grandmother, I think you should do whatever makes YOU comfortable. If you prefer not to have toy guns or let your kids visit where guns are present, that is your decision. We always had guns and our kids were taught gun safety from an early age. If their friends parents had asked that the other kids not play at our house, I would have respected their decision. They can always play outside or as someone else said, go to a park.

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dreaminginblond · 03-24-2004, 05:37 PM

The toy gun experience that I had with my own son somewhat mirrors alittle of what Duxxy talked about. When my son was younger, he made guns out of whatever he was playing with, duplos, legos, whatever. He also was of the Columbine generation, where back then we didn't think letting our kids play with toy guns and play army and all sorts of video games were gonna influence our kids. He had a water pistol and the works.

Do I think it was wrong? It's really hard for me to say. My son grew up to be a wonderful young man but our relationship was part of that because it was just the 2 of us and we always talked about everything, and still do. Having to do it over, knowing what people know now about what happens, I don't know that I would've let him have them. But I also wonder then if that makes kids more curious, I just don't know.

Duxxy · 03-26-2004, 03:27 PM

ok so...

guns don't kill people, people kill people ... but guns definitely killed this thread

who else's child screams not to go into the bath.. and then screams not to come out?? am I alone in this??

veejer · 03-26-2004, 03:37 PM

Hey Duxxy, I seem to recall one of mine doing that around 18 months to 2. I don't think anything solved it but time, he simply outgrew it.

FinallyHere · 03-26-2004, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duxxy

who else's child screams not to go into the bath.. and then screams not to come out?? am I alone in this??

My kids both love the bath. Lil' FH #1 would stay in the water for hours if we let her. Its usually a battle to get her out. The only time she didn't like the bath was for a few weeks last summer after she was 'traumatized' by being thrown in the tub (with me) and having her head stuck under the shower after she pulled a mixing bowl of pancake batter off the counter onto her head. It took her a few weeks for her to get back to enjoying the bath after that.

spegs · 03-26-2004, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duxxy

ok so...

guns don't kill people, people kill people ... but guns definitely killed this thread

Killed it dead.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duxxy

who else's child screams not to go into the bath.. and then screams not to come out?? am I alone in this??

You're not alone. All three of mine do that (well, the six year old doesn't scream, he whines).

Any good cures out there for tantrums? My third (and probably last at this rate) has been throwing these demonic-possession-style fits for the past couple of weeks and I am so ready for an exorcism. The way he flails himself around he usually hurts himself, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again. So frustrating. He'll be two in three weeks, but since he's been an honorary "terrible two" for more than a year already, I'm hoping for an improvement.

nlmcp · 03-26-2004, 04:14 PM

well, for our kids when they did the full body tantrum, we would sit and hold them tight enough so they really couldn't move but not tight enought to hurt them. We wouldn't say anything just hold them until they were done and seemed calm and then we talked to them. My husband had seen this on a program and then we went to a little program at a near by church where the woman who came up with move talked (I can't recall her name, I was a new mom and frazzled) But the basic idea is providing some control to someone who can't do it at the time. Did it work? I have no idea, our oldest had some big temper tantrums, our youngest very few. But it did stop the oldest from doing her new trick she learned at age 18 months which hitting her head on the floor.

ADKLove · 03-26-2004, 04:16 PM

Good luck - my daughter's terrible twos lasted until she was about 3 1/2. She was always the perfect child for everyone else (school, my relatives, etc) but saved all her "best" behavior for me. She's 5+ now, and has done a near-complete turn-around, although still "tests" me whenever she can. Its OK though - it is just the 2 of us and if she needs to get something out of her system I'd rather it be with me than at school. I kind of walk away, reminding her I'll be back when she's settled and has somthing to say about how she can better handle her emotions next time, and use it as an opportunity to encourage her to TALK things out with me. I'm hoping she will always feel free to do this.

dagwood · 03-26-2004, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duxxy

who else's child screams not to go into the bath.. and then screams not to come out?? am I alone in this??

My 6 year old still does that. She loves baths and getting her out is a battle, but you have to practically physically toss her in to get her in the tub.

**hepcat** · 03-28-2004, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spegs

Any good cures out there for tantrums? My third (and probably last at this rate) has been throwing these demonic-possession-style fits for the past couple of weeks and I am so ready for an exorcism. The way he flails himself around he usually hurts himself, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again. So frustrating. He'll be two in three weeks, but since he's been an honorary "terrible two" for more than a year already, I'm hoping for an improvement.

We've been getting good results with the methods in "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk". It could be just two is too young for some of their methods but others come to mind that would work, like giving them a piece of paper and a crayon when they're screaming and telling them to draw how mad they are. When they make a little mark, say something like, "that mad? I bet you're so mad you could draw even more!" and when they do tell them they must be really, really mad. It basically comes down to mirroring the kid's emotions instead of telling them it's okay, or trying to reason them out of a tantrum. It sounds really patronizing and simplistic, but it really seems to work with my 3 1/2 year old.

The only other thing I can recommend for the two year olds - try to avoid situations that set them off.

Not much help, but there you have it. I remember a time when grocery shopping was such a pain. We settled on "searching" the store for raisins (I tried my best to make it the last aisle) and that was the only thing she was allowed to open in the store. On a good day, she enjoyed looking at the shelves and it gave her something to concentrate on. If it wasn't going well, we went right over to them and that way she had her mouth stuffed with a chewy treat and couldn't yell.

03-24-2004, 05:37 PM	#542
dreaminginblond on vacation Join Date: Nov 2003 Age: 96 Posts: 879	The toy gun experience that I had with my own son somewhat mirrors alittle of what Duxxy talked about. When my son was younger, he made guns out of whatever he was playing with, duplos, legos, whatever. He also was of the Columbine generation, where back then we didn't think letting our kids play with toy guns and play army and all sorts of video games were gonna influence our kids. He had a water pistol and the works. Do I think it was wrong? It's really hard for me to say. My son grew up to be a wonderful young man but our relationship was part of that because it was just the 2 of us and we always talked about everything, and still do. Having to do it over, knowing what people know now about what happens, I don't know that I would've let him have them. But I also wonder then if that makes kids more curious, I just don't know. __________________ Memo from God I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.

03-26-2004, 03:27 PM	#543
Duxxy Wash your damn hands Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: looking for a deal on evilBay Posts: 5,318	ok so... guns don't kill people, people kill people ... but guns definitely killed this thread who else's child screams not to go into the bath.. and then screams not to come out?? am I alone in this?? __________________ Wash Your Hands!! Keep the world healthy.

03-26-2004, 03:37 PM	#544
veejer FORT Fogey Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,038	Hey Duxxy, I seem to recall one of mine doing that around 18 months to 2. I don't think anything solved it but time, he simply outgrew it. __________________ Hmmmm.......

03-26-2004, 04:14 PM	#547
nlmcp An innocent bystander Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The mitten state Posts: 3,395	well, for our kids when they did the full body tantrum, we would sit and hold them tight enough so they really couldn't move but not tight enought to hurt them. We wouldn't say anything just hold them until they were done and seemed calm and then we talked to them. My husband had seen this on a program and then we went to a little program at a near by church where the woman who came up with move talked (I can't recall her name, I was a new mom and frazzled) But the basic idea is providing some control to someone who can't do it at the time. Did it work? I have no idea, our oldest had some big temper tantrums, our youngest very few. But it did stop the oldest from doing her new trick she learned at age 18 months which hitting her head on the floor. __________________ I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

03-26-2004, 04:16 PM	#548
ADKLove Leave No Trace Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Seems I'm Lost. Age: 41 Posts: 2,071	Good luck - my daughter's terrible twos lasted until she was about 3 1/2. She was always the perfect child for everyone else (school, my relatives, etc) but saved all her "best" behavior for me. She's 5+ now, and has done a near-complete turn-around, although still "tests" me whenever she can. Its OK though - it is just the 2 of us and if she needs to get something out of her system I'd rather it be with me than at school. I kind of walk away, reminding her I'll be back when she's settled and has somthing to say about how she can better handle her emotions next time, and use it as an opportunity to encourage her to TALK things out with me. I'm hoping she will always feel free to do this. __________________ Love many, trust a few, and always paddle your own canoe

03-24-2004, 05:28 PM	#541
Muduh FORT Fogey Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,551	chomp, as a mother and grandmother, I think you should do whatever makes YOU comfortable. If you prefer not to have toy guns or let your kids visit where guns are present, that is your decision. We always had guns and our kids were taught gun safety from an early age. If their friends parents had asked that the other kids not play at our house, I would have respected their decision. They can always play outside or as someone else said, go to a park.