+ Reply to Thread

Thread: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

  1. #5051
    Rock Stars! bbnbama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In my own little world where all things are Idol......
    Age
    48
    Posts
    10,755

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    Kid- I hate you.
    Mom - Well I don't like you very much right now either
    This one was used quite frequently by my son and I used that exact same response.....I would always tell him that I loved him more than life but that I didn't like him very much at that particular time! Funny thing is, he used that back at me a couple of times when I was in a bad mood and wasn't the best parent in the world at that time!
    Reality is the beginning...not the end....Wallace Stevens

  2. #5052
    MRD
    MRD is offline
    FORT Fogey MRD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    somewhere resting
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16,893

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    Quote Originally Posted by bbnbama;2781436;
    This one was used quite frequently by my son and I used that exact same response.....I would always tell him that I loved him more than life but that I didn't like him very much at that particular time! Funny thing is, he used that back at me a couple of times when I was in a bad mood and wasn't the best parent in the world at that time!
    OMG, been there, done that, got the t-shirt (and the attitude!)

    I have used those same exact lines and then had them used on me. And what can you answer when its the truth?

    Gabriel, sounds like your mom and mine might have been sisters.
    I learned NEVER to say I was bored, she found something for me to do that I usually did NOT like.
    Love the passing out line. And you are right, no audience, no dramatics. I learned that early. I used to tell my daughter I was going in my room for a time out until she behaved because I didn't want to be around to watch whatever it was she was doing at the time. I would shut the door in her face too. Made her mad, but it also stopped the BS she was trying to dish out too because its hard to dish it out to a closed door.

    Buglover, Like Smokey the Bear and forrest fires, only YOU can prevent guilt. Guilt is not something others give you, its something you give yourself. So choose not to give it to yourself no matter how hard someone is trying to force it on you. It can be prevented.

    And this is coming from a recovering guiltholic, so I speak from whenceforth, I know.
    Last edited by MRD; 02-04-2008 at 01:50 PM.
    Que me amat, amet et canem meum
    (Who loves me will love my dog also)

  3. #5053
    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Age
    39
    Posts
    2,310

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    My daughter's audition results were posted and she only made the ensemble cast for "Nunsense". She was not happy about it but did not want to quit the school, under any circumstances. So I just gave her lots of hugs and told her we'd be more prepared for the next go-round. Then I bought Avril Lavigne tickets for April because I'm a bad mother and make my kids feel better with material things. Now I have to find something equally as good for my son, and he shot down all of my suggestions. He wants to go roller-skating. Yikes. I'm going to have a sore bottom. And to top it all off my husband is feeling jealous and neglected because I'm planning things with the kids. I thought he was joking at first but he really is upset about it all! I told him he could go but he didn't want any of that. He just wants time with me too. Awww. It would be nice if he would do some one-on-one time with the kids but I guess that's not what he wants. I suggested that we have a date at least every other month so I'll see how that works out, and hope I can get a babysitter.
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

  4. #5054
    FORT Fanatic
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Age
    51
    Posts
    590

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    I hope you don't mind if I join in the conversation... 3 kids, 11, 9 and 4.... its always so much fun!

    Love the "I hate you comments"... my oldest is better at the guilt and saying "You hate me" speech anytime I ask or tell him something he doesn't want to hear.

    Anyone else have an "over sensitive" older boy? I swear I can't tell him anything... even when he knows he's lying about things..... he crys's and says "I hate him". I know I'm not the best mom, but I do okay, I think (other than working too much). Of course, then I get he does more than his sister (2 years younger).... which actually isn't true. I love it even more when they complain I don't make their 4 year old brother do things... I mean, he's 4!! The best is that he often helps me set the table more than the older ones!

  5. #5055
    Got wings 9/19/2012 buglover's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    CA
    Age
    40
    Posts
    13,195

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    I let the guilt thing go and he's back to himself. He's even done a few chores without me asking. Of course I know the pattern, he'll do chores until he gets what he wants so I guess once the weekend comes I will decide whether or not he can buy what he wants at Target. I know I'm a good parent so you are all right about my guilt being my own problem. I have to learn to know I'm being a good parent even if he doesn't like it!
    Yup, with donuts!!

  6. #5056
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Nap Time
    Posts
    13,314

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    You'll know you're being a good parent BECAUSE he doesn't like it.
    Count your blessings!

  7. #5057
    Crabby Cancerian remote_goddess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Where everything has a slight "down-under" flavor and all the pretty boys are named Michael Johns...
    Age
    39
    Posts
    667

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    Warning - long post ahead. Sorry!

    Would you guys let this go or pursue it any further? And if so, how?

    My oldest daughter (J) came home last night (she's 13 - in 8th grade) and said she had been called to the principal's office yesterday morning. Apparently, the principal received a phone call from a parent claiming that J had been attemting to cheat with her son on a test in one of her classes. The mother said she had received a phone call the day before on her son's (confiscated) cell phone - that would have been Tuesday - during the school day from my daughter's phone and it went to voicemail. The message was simply the teacher's voice reviewing a surprise test he had given that day. He was grading them in class and giving out the answers. The mother thought J was calling her son with the answers so he could pass them out to his friends and have them for himself for the "surprise" test.

    So when J gets to the principal's office yesterday, she is told all of this and is asked to produce her phone so the principal can look at it. J tells her she doesn't know anything about it, and that if there was a call made, it was accidental and she certainly wasn't trying to cheat since the boy she was supposedly helping WAS IN HER CLASS AND GETTING THE ANSWERS AT THE SAME TIME. !!

    The principal looked at my daughter's phone and there was no outgoing call at the time the mother claimed to receive one. She had a missed call from another number around that time, but no outgoing call. (Sure, it is possible that she deleted it, but not knowing anything about the accusation she didn't have the opportunity to do so before being called to the office.) And when my daughter pointed out that the boy was in her class, so there would have been no reason to "cheat", the principal changed her attitude. J said the principal told her that she was an exemplary student (she is - straight A's, plays sports, involved in many various clubs and committees, a favorite of many of her teachers, etc... Yes, I'm "bragging", but she is my darling daughter golden child.) Anyway, the principal pointed out that she didn't think Jaden would do something like that, but that if she and the boy had not been in the same class, they would have had to take the mother's accusation a bit more seriously. As it was, she excused Jaden with the warning to leave her phone at home or off in her locker during the day.

    I asked my daughter if she had been attempting to cheat - looked her in the eye and asked, and she said NO. I believe her. I would like to think I know when she is lying, but honestly, she's a teenager now, and she's so smart I know she can manipulate me and the sitaution and she very well may have been lying, but it just doesn't make sense if she is.

    Also, the boy in question is a good friend of my daughter, but he has wanted to be "more than friends" for quite a while. His mother, for some reason I do not know, dislikes J and has supposedly told her son he cannot hang out with her. I was so upset last night that I called the mother and asked her what she thought was going on. She told me a completely different story - that she didn't name anyone specifically, just called the school because she had received the call and she found it odd that her son would get a message like that. I explained that they were in the same class, and that there was no record of a call - at which time she offered to produce the voicemail message - and that if there was, the intent was not to "cheat" and that it was entirely possible that the last number she had dialed was her son's and that if the phone got knocked or bumped it could have redialed the last number. She admitted this could have been the case, but then went into a very preachy explanation that this is one of many good reasons why the kids shouldn't carry their phones at school, and that her son had his taken away because he couldn't follow rules and that we should all set limitations to young teenagers with cell phones.

    I could go into more here about that - but I won't. My question is simply do I let this drop as it stands, or should I contact the principal and MAKE SURE there are no outstanding allegations against my daughter or anything further that needs to be looked into. I don't really care what the other woman thinks, but I certainly don't want the admin staff or teachers to think or suspect something like this of my daughter.

    Am I overreacting? Probably. But this is seriously an issue when she has outstanding applications to charter prep schools that require recommendation letters from existing school staff. We can't afford private schools, but this area offers many advanced learning prep schools for high school options, and she has her application in to two of the state's best.

  8. #5058
    Best Buddies Gutmutter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Nap Time
    Posts
    13,314

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    I would let it drop. It sounds like the principal believes her and in all other ways she is an exemplary student. I think if private schools didn't let students in because of cell phone infractions they would have pretty empty halls.
    Count your blessings!

  9. #5059
    Crabby Cancerian remote_goddess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Where everything has a slight "down-under" flavor and all the pretty boys are named Michael Johns...
    Age
    39
    Posts
    667

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    But it isn't the cell phone thing - it's the "cheating" thing... And she isn't going to a private school, but I would love to be able to send her to one. It's the cheating thing I don't want to become an issue if it's preventable.

    I actually called the school (I was impatient!) and spoke to the vice-principal, who informed me that this is an "ongoing investigation." Sounds awful! It's not over, and she said the principal would be contacting me later today to discuss it.

    Talk about stressing me out! Geez, now I have all day to wonder what is going on...

  10. #5060
    Team DAN schmoo2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    O-H-I-O
    Posts
    3,285

    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    It sounded to me like the Principal realized she was not involved and that she is an exceptional student.
    I imagine they are 'investigating' the mother and her claims (read problems) rather than investigating your daughter.

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.