The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents - Page 5

Stargazer · 02-13-2004, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by averagejane

Me too

I told Mr. Average J that if he wants a son, better luck with his second wife

After all, girls play hockey too.

My husband's uncle kept wanting to try for a boy and ended up with six daughters

The lout never did get a boy :rolleyes

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karna68 · 02-13-2004, 05:39 PM

Hey everybody! I'm another mother of one, but not by choice

we tried for about 3 years for number 2 but finally gave up. I'm going to be 36 in May and I'm just getting too old for this!

But anyway it's good to be here!

**hepcat** · 02-13-2004, 06:31 PM

Hey Karna, ditto for me.

I have one 3-year-old daughter, and it's looking more and more like she will be an only child. I told myself if I wasn't pregnant by the time I was 35 then that was our sign to let it be. I'm 34 now and I'm getting used to the idea...

Luckily, I live next door to my brother & his family (who just had a new baby, #2) so hopefully my daughter won't be too deprived without siblings. It's just hard when you grow up with sibs to accept your child is on their own...she's in lots of playgroups and activities to compensate. And she goes to kindergarden in a year and a half!

I took my daughter and her 2-yr old cousin on the train to a park today. I need hazard pay! Where's my margarita?

Igotalife · 02-13-2004, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stargazer

My husband's uncle kept wanting to try for a boy and ended up with six daughters

The lout never did get a boy :rolleyes

My mom had 6 boys before she finally had a girl, and then she had 3 girls consecutively. I would have given up after 2.

**hepcat** · 02-13-2004, 07:01 PM

Oh good gravy! Ineedalife, your poor mum!

J.D. · 02-13-2004, 07:10 PM

Mother of 2. Both grown & gone. I love both my girls equally and wouldn't give up either of them. However, if I knew then what I know now....I'd have stopped at one.

AJane · 02-13-2004, 07:38 PM

Oh no, JD!

Which one would should've been first?

chompstick · 02-13-2004, 08:41 PM

Ineed, what was it like growing up as one of 9?

Thanks for all the replies from moms of onlies. I'm surprised there's so many of us. We never wanted just one child, and I feel like we will always be sad that we don't have more, but we really feel like we have no choice. Our son has some neurological disorders similar to autism that make his care challenging. I'm 36 and I seriously don't know if I could manage two children, even if the second was an easy child. But therein lies the problem...on my side of the family, there are 6 cousins including my son; 4 of them have neurological problems. There is a genetic component. Not good odds. Furthermore, there are twins on both sides of our family, so that ups the odds on that. The peak age for having twins is 37. And when you have twins, the likelihood that one or both has a neurological disorder is even greater. I also had a very difficult pregnancy and spent much of it in bed. How could I handle a very active and needy 3 year old if I'm in bed for months?? Top it all off with the fact that we have no family living anywhere near us.

One thing that bothers me...I love being a mother more than anything in the world. I really came into myself as a mom, and just cherish it. I feel like if I only have one child that people will think that I really don't like children that much, or don't like being a parent, or perhaps didn't even want any children, and that's why I'm not going to have more. I hardly ever care what people think about me, but this one hits me where it hurts. Someone once said to me that you're not really a mother until you have at least 2 children.

Stargazer · 02-13-2004, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chompstick

Someone once said to me that you're not really a mother until you have at least 2 children.

That someone was full of baloney, chompstick. I had an old lady tell me to put whiskey in my baby's bottle too, but that doesn't mean she was right

I'm sure there are a lot of things that are wonderful about being a mother to multiple children, but that doesn't mean that it's the only way.
I wouldn't let what a few silly people say bother you. With the challenges you face with your son, you are probably more of a mother than most.

Btw, I know exactly what you mean about coming into your own. I felt as if I had fulfilled a greater purpose when I started being a mother to my daughter. I really figured out who I am.

Jewelsy · 02-13-2004, 09:23 PM

Um... I'm not a mom, but could I borrow the cabana boy?

02-13-2004, 06:31 PM	#43
hepcat Phooey. Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: here Posts: 24,719 Blog Entries: 3	Hey Karna, ditto for me. I have one 3-year-old daughter, and it's looking more and more like she will be an only child. I told myself if I wasn't pregnant by the time I was 35 then that was our sign to let it be. I'm 34 now and I'm getting used to the idea... Luckily, I live next door to my brother & his family (who just had a new baby, #2) so hopefully my daughter won't be too deprived without siblings. It's just hard when you grow up with sibs to accept your child is on their own...she's in lots of playgroups and activities to compensate. And she goes to kindergarden in a year and a half! I took my daughter and her 2-yr old cousin on the train to a park today. I need hazard pay! Where's my margarita? __________________ THE SMEAR: Barack Obama got 100% on "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero. THE TRUTH: Barack Obama is a DDR fanatic.

02-13-2004, 07:01 PM	#45
hepcat Phooey. Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: here Posts: 24,719 Blog Entries: 3	Oh good gravy! Ineedalife, your poor mum! __________________ THE SMEAR: Barack Obama got 100% on "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero. THE TRUTH: Barack Obama is a DDR fanatic.

02-13-2004, 07:10 PM	#46
J.D. brrrr..... Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Popeye's lap Posts: 2,260	Mother of 2. Both grown & gone. I love both my girls equally and wouldn't give up either of them. However, if I knew then what I know now....I'd have stopped at one. __________________

02-13-2004, 07:38 PM	#47
AJane Provoked Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: darkly dreaming Posts: 6,571	Oh no, JD! Which one would should've been first? __________________ All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve. ~ Thursday Next The truth, like humor, is where you find it. - Henry Rollins

02-13-2004, 08:41 PM	#48
chompstick Are these spots becoming? Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Woof! Posts: 1,511	Ineed, what was it like growing up as one of 9? Thanks for all the replies from moms of onlies. I'm surprised there's so many of us. We never wanted just one child, and I feel like we will always be sad that we don't have more, but we really feel like we have no choice. Our son has some neurological disorders similar to autism that make his care challenging. I'm 36 and I seriously don't know if I could manage two children, even if the second was an easy child. But therein lies the problem...on my side of the family, there are 6 cousins including my son; 4 of them have neurological problems. There is a genetic component. Not good odds. Furthermore, there are twins on both sides of our family, so that ups the odds on that. The peak age for having twins is 37. And when you have twins, the likelihood that one or both has a neurological disorder is even greater. I also had a very difficult pregnancy and spent much of it in bed. How could I handle a very active and needy 3 year old if I'm in bed for months?? Top it all off with the fact that we have no family living anywhere near us. One thing that bothers me...I love being a mother more than anything in the world. I really came into myself as a mom, and just cherish it. I feel like if I only have one child that people will think that I really don't like children that much, or don't like being a parent, or perhaps didn't even want any children, and that's why I'm not going to have more. I hardly ever care what people think about me, but this one hits me where it hurts. Someone once said to me that you're not really a mother until you have at least 2 children. __________________ I support the right to arm bears.

02-13-2004, 05:39 PM	#42
karna68 80's rule! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Columbus, OH Age: 40 Posts: 2,119	Hey everybody! I'm another mother of one, but not by choice we tried for about 3 years for number 2 but finally gave up. I'm going to be 36 in May and I'm just getting too old for this! But anyway it's good to be here!

02-13-2004, 09:23 PM	#50
Jewelsy From the corner of my eye Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Santa Cruz, California Posts: 11,523	Um... I'm not a mom, but could I borrow the cabana boy?