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Thread: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

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    MRD
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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    Interesting as my daughter's doctor reccomended it. She had it over a year ago and everything seems ok so far.
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    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    It probably depends on the doctor. Some wait longer when medicines (or vaccines) come on the market.

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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    Quote Originally Posted by remote_goddess;2708681;
    Any of you parents out there ever had issues with pre-teen/teenage anorexia/bulemia? My daughters' step-sister is 12 and has just been diagnosed with this eating disorder, and my girls are having a very hard time understanding it. Their Dad and step-mom have given them minimal information and I have absolutely no experience so do not know quite how to answer their questions when they come to me. They think it's an attention-getting scheme on the step-sis's part (and a successful one so far on top of that!) and that she can control it and if she really wanted to she would just eat. I know it's more than that, and I would hope I've raised my girls to be more understanding, open, and sympathetic to people's troubles, but they're almost angry about it. Any ideas? Resources? Suggestions?
    I had both. And they are different. It is a control issue and also one of self-loathing. THe person really does not see how thin they really are. Sometimes they think the people are just jealous and want them to be "fat" again ... at least on the anorexia part. Bulimia can be a comfort/disgust kind of thing. You eat and become guilty and purge. Then eat for comfort from the guilt and purge again.

    The person has to SEE that they need help before it will sink in. I was really sneaky and hid it well. I got down to 66 pounds (I was 4 foot 7 3/4 inches at the time, so I wasn't in danger of dying yet) before I saw how I truly looked .... for a second ... in the mirror. That, and I fainted in the shower from lack of food. I also realized that I was not in control. My fear of food was in control. I had bulimia for 10 years after that before I got better on that end.

    ANAD National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders is the Web site for National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.

    The World's Most Comprehensive Eating Disorder Referral and Information Service Specializing in Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder, eating disorders, binge eating, bulimia, anorexia is the Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center

    And there is the Eating Disorder Referral - Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating, Compulsive Overeating and other Eating Disorder Treatment Directory a directory that helps you locate centers to help, as well as other info.

    Hope my two-cents worth helps.

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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    Quote Originally Posted by remote_goddess;2708830;
    Thanks, MRD. I've been searching online today and have run across several informative sites but most were less than helpful for what I'm needing. Many sites address the issues the parents face, and the issues the patient faces, but not much on how other family members may feel/what they need to know to help. Maybe I need to delve a little deeper...
    those sites might help you to explain what might be going on to your kids, though. You might try to look up one of the local centers that deal with the issue and see if they have any info to give you or if you could schedule some time to talk about it. You could also see if they have support groups.

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    Premium Member burntbrat's Avatar
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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    remote_goddess I'm going to be a different voice here. I'm not sure how much understanding about the disorder is going to help your kids. It seems like they may have a jealousy thing going on, thinking that she's only doing it for attention. You might try explaining to them that she may have done it for attention first, but now it's gotten so out of hand that she's been actually diagnosed with a very dangerous condition. It's tough balancing your kids feelings and making them understand the gravity of the situation. The support groups and websites are a good idea.
    One of these days I'll stop being sensitive. Until then, I'll continue to be devastated on a daily basis. Life breaks my heart.

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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    Well, I've had a very interesting day. The kiddo and I started out this morning by getting on the topic of recreational drugs and how dangerous they are. It was a very pleasant conversation.
    Then this afternoon we had the talk that I have been dreading above all others. Menstruation. She was flipping through the "Care and Keeping of You" book by American Girl and she came to the chapter on 'Your Period'. M is deathly afraid of anything that involves blood, which is why I have been so loathe to broach this subject.
    So we sat down and read the chapter together then I showed her what all the feminine protection looked like... the tampon in the glass of water was a huge hit
    All in all it went very smoothly and there were no hysterics or tears, she was more concerned about getting hair in her underarms (like a raccoon?!) than anything else.

    I want to thank you experienced moms once again for steering to toward "The Care and Keeping of You". It is a fantastic book and I don't know what I would have done without it.
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    A raccoon?

    I haven't had "the talk" with my 8-year-old yet, but she does know what a period is, and that she'll bleed every month. Basically, when she asks a question, I answer it. I'm starting to think that maybe we should have an official sit-down and I explain everything?

    Dux, did you buy that book here in Canada, or did you have to order it?
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
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    All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels

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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    I ordered it at chapters.ca and I picked it up at the store. I had to prepay with my credit card and the book was $13.95 CDN - it might even be less now that most stores are selling books at the listed American price.
    It's such a good book AJ! In plain language, not too technical and not so much detail as to overwhelm the girls. A good investment for you since you get to use it twice The full title is
    "The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls" by American Girl

    While I'm at it I'd also like to recommend "The New Speaking of Sex: What your children need to know and when they need to know it" by Meg Hickling R.N. More plain talk about sex - how and when to tell your kids, the back of the book covers hypotheticals and it has descriptions There's a chapter called "straight answers to the questions your kids will ask" such as 'what is a prostitute? what is cross-dressing, what is a transsexual?' and so on. It has real questions from kids in the margins. Best of all Meg is a Canadian author.
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    I'd better get both. I've already had the prostitute and transsexual question, believe it or not. Thanks, Oprah. I think I gave a fairly straightforward answer, but I'd like to hear what the pros say. Thanks Dux.
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
    I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
    All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels

  10. #4960
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Re: The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

    I got the transsexual question when we went to the mall and met a transvestite coming out. I had to explain it all, she thought it was just a really ugly woman.

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