The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

[anemone]

Muduh: My sympathies to your family, especially your little one.

Duxxy: Yay! I am so happy a placement opened up for your little friend. I was lurking here, but couldn't post a couple days ago. I did worry about her. It's a win/win. She'll get the services she needs and you can give the best care to the other children in your care. Hopefully that center will do a little parent education/modeling, too.

[Google]

 

[Duxxy]

I don't know if you guys remember .. I was whining about M's birthday party late last year.
Well invitiations are ready to go out. I wanted to address the situation with the fraternal twins so I included a note to the mom with the invite.

M,
M tells me that T won't be able to come unless T is also invited. Unfortunately this is an all girl party. We have invited all of the girls from the class- probably for the last time.
I understand if you have to decline but M would really like T to come.
Thanks - Me.

Rude? Unnecessary? Clear?

comments/suggestions?

[AJane]

For what it's worth, Dux, you're in the right. The mother of these twins has no business insisting that both her children be invited to every party one or the other's friends have. THAT'S what I call rude.

I think your note is a good one, and it's crystal-clear. Let the mother explain to her daughter why she can't go to the party.

[ShrinkingViolet]

I also think it is just fine as written, Duxxy. It's far from rude; it's just factual. It's great you put it on the mom's shoulders.

[canuckinchile]

Boy do I remember those days Dux! Unfortunately, at the time we were in an expat community so small that I didn't want to make waves. You can imagine how much fun a 3 year old had at a 6 year old's party with 6 year old games. I did request the mother to stay and watch her 3 year old, and she seemed befuddled as to why he spent much of the time in tears. Why are people so dumb? (And I did try to have stuff for the 3 year old...I'm not mean just because his mom is obtuse)

I think your note is fine Duxx, and a little boy wouldn't want to be at an all girl's party (usually).

[ScoutMom]

I think your note is perfectly appropriate, Duxxy. My son has a friend who is a twin. (My son is 16 years old.) They've been friends since about 1st grade. He's friendly with both boys, but he's closer to one of them. Their family (meaning father) has the same rule. One twin can't go someplace if the other twin isn't invited. Unfortunately for the 1st twin, that means he doesn't get invited to a lot of places because whoever is doing the inviting doesn't want the 2nd twin.

[Duxxy]

I could totally understand if the twins were the same sex but they are opposite sexes!

I'm sure those twin boys weren't too thrilled about dad's rule... it's so amazing how quickly kids develop their own circle of friends!

Thanks for your comments! I don't feel too overbearing now

[Gutmutter]

My daughter is good friends with an identical twin. She goes with us to the movies and other events quite often. They have such different interests and friends - as it should be.

[Muduh]

My older grandson is friends with identical twin guys. He likes them equally, which is nice since he can't tell them apart unless they are side by side.

[AJane]

My mom's older sisters are identical twins, and my mom said when they were younger, they used to always "switch" and fool people. They were and still are exceptionally close to each other - they even ended up marrying brothers. They married one brother each, that is.

Gut makes a good point - wouldn't you want to encourage each twin to be their own individual person, rather than two halves of one set?