The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

[Jewelsy]

How cute are these kids. *pinches their cheeks*

[Google]

 

[Duxxy]

thanks guys!!
Lucy dont let her dad hear you talking about boys, he'll have a frikkin heart attack
thank you texi for the double compliment

eta: hmmmmmm at least I think that was a compliment?

[nlmcp]

Originally Posted by Paulie

If you're interested in hearing the dad's perspective from a guy with some experience, I'd be happy to chime in. Otherwise, I'll just listen quietly, munch on cookies, and massage the heck out of anyone who needs it, especially Nancy, who said I'm hot.

Paulie, you aren't just hot, you are

settling back for my massage.

[nlmcp]

Originally Posted by Paulie

Well, the thing that really stuck out for me as I read through all these posts was the annoying tendency for those around us to offer their opinions on our child-rearing choices. I don't know why people feel not only comfortable but justified in finding fault with the way we as parents choose to do things. I get it a lot as a dad because most folks look at me as a temporary caretaker of the children when I'm out in public with them. I get comments like, "Oh-oh! Dad's buying groceries. Watch out!" Things like that.

My husband hates that. For 2 years he was the stay at home parent, not really by choice but he was the parent at home. He got so many comments about 'babysitting' or 'does your wife know you are doing that', it was very frustrating him. He can't figure out why someone would comment that he was babysitting his own kids. (Of course I get that comment a lot because my kids look nothing like me, my neice looks like my child)

[nlmcp]

Originally Posted by evalaruefan

Anyone have any thoughts and suggestions about co-sleeping? I'd love to hear them whether you agree or not.

My Aunt and Uncle lived in Europe for many years and that's how many people do it there, have a huge bed and everyone under the age of 5 or 6 is sleeping with mom and dad. They felt it worked for them.

My sister and her husband have their toddler sleep with them but they are working on getting her into her own bed.

We didn't do it. Besides us we had a cat with a attitude and a big dog sharing the bed, there was no room for a baby. I would sleep on the couch with them when breast feeding, or as toddlers we got them regular sized beds so one of us could crawl into bed with them and let the zoo sleep peacefully. (the dog actually would have loved the kids in bed, the cat would have freaked)

[nlmcp]

Originally Posted by chompstick

Ineed, the touching thing drives me crazy. And how about when you're pregnant...everyone feels entitled to pat your tummy. UGH!

I agree, in fact it's the only time I've ever hit another person (well since the 9 th grade) was when a man came up and started touching me on my stomach. I barely knew him and he did this before saying "hello", he just started touching me saying "I love how pregnant women feel" So I belted him, twice.

[FinallyHere]

Originally Posted by Duxxy

I wonder if FinallyHere will find this thread? He's as involved in his kids' lives as Paulie is.

I found it Duxxy. I'll just echo the sentiment that the stereotype of the husband/father as the bumbling idiot irks the hell out of me too. As a dad I'm just as capable of taking care of my daughters as my wife is. I have no problems feeding, changing, bathing or doing anything else regarding the care of my girls. If my wife's job paid more money than mine did, she would have gone back to work and I would have stayed home with them.

Thanks for the posts on co-sleeping etc. Some of you know about my on-going bed time/sleeping battles so its nice to know Mrs FH and I aren't alone.

Btw - The pics everyone posted of their kiddies are adorable. It's obvious that the Fort kids are just as good looking as the Fort members.

Here's a picture of my two.

[chompstick]

Awww, Duxxy and FH, your kids are precious! Glad you found us, FH.

[Paulie]

Originally Posted by Stargazer

I know that there are men who don't do squat for their kids (my SIL's ex-husband who never changed one diaper through two kids)

Wow. How'd he manage to avoid changing a diaper? Is he some sort of ogre?

I will say that I've seen moms who don't trust their own husbands to care for their children properly. When my oldest was quite young, we found a playgroup for her. The people in this playgroup really get along, and we always find ways to schedule time for all of us to get together periodically. We have Couples' Night Out, Moms' Night Out, Dads' Night Out, and all the little kid parties we can manage. We also have these 2- and 3-day retreats for the Moms and Dads. Personally, I've never been on a Dads' Retreat because I don't like the notion of working all week and then taking an entire weekend away from my family. But I encourage my wife to go on the Moms' Retreats because it's very rare for her to get a true "day off." Anyway, it's interesting to see how some of the other moms in the group handle the notion of leaving the children in their husband's care overnight. Some moms flatly refuse to go because they're too concerned for their children. Others call their husbands repeatedly to make sure things are going all right. They sometimes raise an eyebrow at my wife because she doesn't call home, but she knows I'll be fine. We have total trust and confidence in each other that we can take care of the kids when one of us is gone. I can't imagine how painful and destructive it must be for these other dads to basically be told by their wives that they don't have the ability to raise their own children. It's unbelievable.

[spegs]

Okay, now I'm going to get the rocks. I want to preface this by saying first, that my husband is a great daddy and the kids love him, and second, my wild little monkeys really need two sets of eyes on them when they're not contained within a house or a fence.

But I have to admit that it makes me worry when I leave them alone with Daddy for a long time--mostly if he decides they need to go somewhere, I'm fine if they stay home. But he can't really get mad at me for this, as there have been *incidents* in the past. My kids are all still alive, though, and the house is still standing, so it could be worse