The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

[Tirlittan]

Ahh, breastfeeding... the topic to bring the inner demon in me to surface. I apologize beforehand, this will be emotional and so forth...

My first son was a preemie, a small one (4 lbs), and he really could not handle the flow of milk coming out. I also had the problem of uncontrollable amounts of milk. Well, I was breastfeeding, and breastfeeding and pumping (because of medicins he had to take) for 3 months. And in my opinion whichever way a child receives breastmilk qualifies as breastfeeding. The pumping was hell. To this day I do not know why I did not give up earlier and had to torture myself with it.

Then, my second child was the best breastfeeder ever from the moment he was born, and he was a little piggie who ate it all (and thus grew a pound a week the first few months), in fact he still likes to empty his plate I breastfed him 8 months, probably could have done it longer because it was so easy and smooth, nearly unreal compared to my first experience.

But, we moved to different not-breastfeeding-friendly-culture, and that stopped it. The mean comments by other moms (unbelievable) and the vicious looks I got when breastfeeding in public were quite enough. For example this one woman with her little girl came by when I was sitting in ladies room breastfeeding my baby: the girl asked her mom what I was doing and that *itch answered "She is exposing her breasts".

Anyway, breastfeeding is enjoyable and such a convenient and easy way to feed your child when it goes smoothly and I am glad I got to enjoy it. But, I take hats off to those people who pump for a year to breastfeed their child, they are the real troopers out there because pumping is a physically and emotionally draining experience.

[Google]

 

[Paulie]

Hey, ladies! I'm back! *squirts massage oil into hands and rubs 'em together* Who's next?

Sorry I was gone for so long. This thread grew so fast! I was spending the long weekend at home with the fam. You know, washing dishes, dusting, that sort of thing. There's not much you guys can say that will frighten me away. I have three kids of my own (6-year-old girl, 4-year-old boy and another boy who's almost 2). I actually find this thread to be really fascinating, and I'd offer my own thoughts on stuff if people thought I'd be welcome to do so. I feel sorta self-conscious that I'm the only guy in here. But, you know, there are worse things than being the sole man in a room full of women discussing their breasts.

If you're interested in hearing the dad's perspective from a guy with some experience, I'd be happy to chime in. Otherwise, I'll just listen quietly, munch on cookies, and massage the heck out of anyone who needs it, especially Nancy, who said I'm hot.

[Igotalife]

Chime away Paulie-this is an equal opportunity thread. After all, could be interesting to hear a guy's perspective on birthing, breasts, sleepless nights....

[Paulie]

Well, the thing that really stuck out for me as I read through all these posts was the annoying tendency for those around us to offer their opinions on our child-rearing choices. I don't know why people feel not only comfortable but justified in finding fault with the way we as parents choose to do things. I get it a lot as a dad because most folks look at me as a temporary caretaker of the children when I'm out in public with them. I get comments like, "Oh-oh! Dad's buying groceries. Watch out!" Things like that.

The worst was one time when I was gathering some supplies at Wal-Mart here in town, and I had my oldest and my middle child with me. At that time, child #2 was just a couple of weeks old. An older woman - probably in her 60's or early 70's - approached me and asked how old he was. When I answered her, I mistook her question for genuine interest in my beautiful little boy, but instead her face turned pinched and sour, and she snapped at me, "He shouldn't be out at his age! The flu's going around right now. He could catch it and die!" And then she stalked off before I could respond, not that I would have had anything to say at that moment, anyway. I was too stunned. She made me feel horrible, and I can't figure out why she felt the need to do what she did.

I've since decided that some people are just small-minded, self-loathing vermin who feel temporarily better about themselves if they can cut others down. I'm sure she raised some children of her own and felt protected by her experience. Kind of "Because I raised X children to adulthood, I know more than this buffoon." Never mind the fact that my wife and I discuss to death the choices we make in raising our kids, that we take our jobs as parents very seriously. No, these people see fit to pick away at complete strangers. And no matter how firm your convictions in your own child-rearing decisions, those little interactions have an effect, a very negative one.

I feel badly for any of you who have been approached by weasels like this who feel it's their job to lecture you on breastfeeding choices. There's no place for that. We all make our own decisions based on what works in our own homes, and nobody has the right to say you should change the way you do things to more closely align with their idea of what's "right."

*steps off soapbox* Who wants a back rub?

[EvaLaruefan]

I agree, Paulie, we're all ears...type away, we want to know your stories.

About the sleep issue....my 2 year old started doing her nights at 18 months, thought that time would never come but it did. Only problem with that is she sleeps with mommy. (this can be a whole other discussion now, co-sleeping!!! I feel like I'm on Dr. Phil.com~lol)
My 7 month old did his nights from 5 weeks but has since chosen to get up around 2-3 times a night now and has been for the past 2 months.

Hoping that when he's a bit older he and sister will sleep in the same room and they won't feel the need to have mommy and/or dadyy with them. Anyone have any thoughts and suggestions about co-sleeping? I'd love to hear them whether you agree or not.

[EvaLaruefan]

Me again...you posted at the same time Paulie~lol

I want a back rub!!!!!! me, me, me!!!!

With my son I decided to breastfeed (only ended up doing it 5-6 weeks though) and I wanted him to get used to the bottle too and a nurse at the hospital where I gave birth almost rippied my head off and said I couldn't mix the 2, it was bad for him. little does she know my daughter took her 1st bottle at 9 months only and when she was 2 months I was as sick as a dog for 3 days lying on the bathroom floor and I still had to breastfeed cuz she refused the bottle. It wasn't easy and I swore to myself I wouldn't have the same problem with baby #2.

[AJane]

Woo-hoo! Me first!

And Paulie, I got a similar snark from some old witch because I took my first baby out when she was 3 weeks old (I had to get new glasses, for pete's sake, it was in the optometrist's office).

Now, are you just massaging or are you mixing drinks too? A Sea Breeze for me, please...

[AJane]

Argh! Eva! You snuck in ahead!

[Paulie]

I'll mix drinks if you want, but I don't guarantee the quality of what you receive. I'm not very experienced with that sort of thing. Maybe I can read a book...

[spegs]

Circle time!! Paulie's reading!!

(Pass the snapple)