The Oasis - A spot for FORT parents

[Jewelsy]

Star -- I don't think you could have done/said anything better. Great job, *Mom*.

[Google]

 

[Duxxy]

holy geez roseskid you must have been horrified! I'm glad to hear she's alright. It's easy to read that our job as parents is to prepare our kids to leave us but the reality of letting them go is just so much harder.. I can't even imagine how you feel about your precious 'little girl' leaving for college, mine is going to kindergarten in about a month and I'm already having a mini stroke about it.

[VeeJay]

What a coincidence. One of our fish (named Chris Benoit after the wrestler ) died about 2 days ago. And when I gently told my son (who's 5) he stuck out his bottom lip and cried. That was not at all the reaction I expected. Not to degrade fish or anything but I just think it's much easier to bond with a cat or dog. Just goes to show you never really know how kids are going to react to death so we have to always choose our words carefully.

Roseskid, glad to hear your daughter's alright. Talk about a parent's worst nightmare...

[Stargazer]

I'm glad your daughter is ok, rosekid. I was in a wreck myself at 17 and I remember my mom saying something very similiar to me. She said that a car could always be replaced, but that she couldn't replace me. I truly felt horrible about the whole thing and those words stuck with me. If its any consolation, I drove like a grandma for about two or three years after that. I can't say that I stayed a safe driver all through college, but that close call did slow me down and make me pay more attention for several years afterward.

[scarlett530]

Aw, Star! You gave a perfect response, and obviously, you gave her just the right amount of information that she needed. Sometimes, when kids ask the tough questions, we parents tend to go "overboard" and give them more than what they really need/want to hear. Good job!

Rosekid, how horrible! My "baby" will be old enough to drive before I know it, I can't imagine how scary that must be. No wonder my mother was such a nervous wreck when we were teens!

VeeJay, I know exactly where you are coming from too. My daughter had a little mouse (the "feeder" variety) that her uncle gave her. She "saved" him from being eaten by his snake. She named him "Pinky" (after the Pinky & the Brain cartoon.) As much as it gave me the shudders to adopt a mouse, she was so proud of him, I let her go for it. Needless to say, it broke her little heart when he died. Mourning a kitten, or even a goldfish, is one thing. Can you imagine having to have a full fledged funeral for a mouse?

[VeeJay]

Originally Posted by scarlett530

Can you imagine having to have a full fledged funeral for a mouse?

Yes I can. My husband had to bury the fish and we made a grave marker and everything. It was a right proper burial service.

[scarlett530]

Originally Posted by VeeJay

Yes I can. My husband had to bury the fish and we made a grave marker and everything. It was a right proper burial service.

Bless their hearts, they are so cute when they're that sensitive!

[roseskid]

Originally Posted by Stargazer

I'm glad your daughter is ok, rosekid. I was in a wreck myself at 17 and I remember my mom saying something very similiar to me. She said that a car could always be replaced, but that she couldn't replace me. I truly felt horrible about the whole thing and those words stuck with me. If its any consolation, I drove like a grandma for about two or three years after that. I can't say that I stayed a safe driver all through college, but that close call did slow me down and make me pay more attention for several years afterward.

Thank you Duxxy, Stargazer, VeeJay and Scarlett. Stargazer, thanks for the 17-year-old's perspective. My daughter is a very good kid, has never caused any problems (that we know of, ha!), so this was very much out of character for her. I guess that's why they are called accidents. She basically took her eyes off the road for a minute (was fiddling with sun visor), panicked when she realized traffic had stopped, swerved and hit a pole. She told the cop who came to the scene that she was never going to drive again. He told her he had an accident around her age, said the same thing, and after being stuck at home with his parents for one weekend, was ready to go back out! He was great with her. Her airbag really whacked her, she's got some major bruising on her forearms, but we are indeed lucky. We'll see how things go from here. I'm sure I sound a lot calmer than I feel at the moment, but at least she wasn't seriously hurt, nor anyone else.

This same daughter had a hamster who died when she was about 7. We held quite the formal funeral (laying layers of kleenex in a box, giving a euology etc.) We dug a little hole in the backyard, and my husband fashioned a cross out of two pieces of wood, and then carved "Abby" on it. It still sits in a corner of one of our flower beds.

Thanks, again, everyone.

[Jewelsy]

ROSEKID. I didn't mean to ignore your post. I'm glad your little one is okay.

I don't come in here often -- mainly because I don't have kids (but I love them to pieces). But sometimes the "moms" let me borrow their Cabana Boy.

[Feifer]

Originally Posted by Stargazer

I sat down next to her and braced myself for what I thought would be an intense conversation. I told her that Space wasn't coming back because he had died. That when people and animals bodies stop working right, they die. I told her that after you die, you go to heaven where God and Grandpa live and that we'll all be together there one day.

I had this same type of conversationwith my kiddos. They are still talking about my dog Murphy and how he is in heaven with God, Jesus and Abuelita. They each talk about how Murphy still lives in their heart. Kids are amazing! I am glad to hear that your conversation went so well.