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Thread: Need help with domestic dilemna...what do you think?

  1. #11
    Hockey is life! EvaLaruefan's Avatar
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    Goodluck, I know where you're coming from. I am a stay at home mom of 2 and I am in the house Mon-Fri 24 hrs a day!!!! My baby is 6 months and for 6 months that's how it;s been. I get no help during the week AT ALL until my husband gets home from work. I would hate for him to have plans for an entire weekend on top of that. (unless I could have a friend over to help)

    I hope it works out for you!

  2. #12
    Premium Member Yeti Long Shot: Porpoheus Champion
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    I may be too late with this, but I'll give it a go. My oldest daughter is married to a hockey ref. When they got married they moved from Utah to Miami where he worked, after playing hockey here for a year. If your husband is anything like Jimmy, he's a hockey freak. All hockey all the time.

    If my daughter came to me with this question I would ask her to step back and look at the big picture. A year down the road, when you feel better, the kids are feeling better and such. Which story would you rather share? The story of his four day hockey tournament or how miserable you all were for four days, and how he resents you for asking him to stay home. Just a thought. Good luck with whatever you decide.

  3. #13
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    I'm with the "normally honey it would be great but we've been sick so please don't go" camp. It's so hard when everyone has been sick and cranky. Good Luck.
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  4. #14
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    JD, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. IMO, the big picture is family is number one. Hockey games come and go, but your family is always there. Supporting your spouse and helping to care for your family is a responsibility that one assumes when you marry and raise a family. I think the story you would have to tell is how daddy cares for us so much he gave up a weekend to be with us.

  5. #15
    FORT Fogey Pyramid Solitaire by Disney's Tangled Champion combatcutie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott
    JD, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. IMO, the big picture is family is number one. Hockey games come and go, but your family is always there. Supporting your spouse and helping to care for your family is a responsibility that one assumes when you marry and raise a family. I think the story you would have to tell is how daddy cares for us so much he gave up a weekend to be with us.


    I was beginning to think I was the only one that thought that. It would be a different story if they weren't just getting over the flu.

  6. #16
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott
    ......IMO, the big picture is family is number one. Hockey games come and go, but your family is always there. Supporting your spouse and helping to care for your family is a responsibility that one assumes when you marry and raise a family. I think the story you would have to tell is how daddy cares for us so much he gave up a weekend to be with us.
    There might be a little bit of the negative feelings on either side regardless of what happens. I believe that Average Jane can be candid with her hubby and give the valid reason about being sick with the flu. If he goes, he might not enjoy it as much as he would have thought because he will be thinking about his honey alone and sick with the children.

    An open dialog would be good. After all, it's just a game but, his family is so much more. Maybe those guys and their families can all rotate having a monthly get together so you will all get to know each other and hopefully have each other's family as a resource to help if someone sick or was out of town.

    Good luck and I hope that you feel better soon!

  7. #17
    dvm
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    Quote Originally Posted by JDHeninger
    I may be too late with this, but I'll give it a go. My oldest daughter is married to a hockey ref. When they got married they moved from Utah to Miami where he worked, after playing hockey here for a year. If your husband is anything like Jimmy, he's a hockey freak. All hockey all the time.

    If my daughter came to me with this question I would ask her to step back and look at the big picture. A year down the road, when you feel better, the kids are feeling better and such. Which story would you rather share? The story of his four day hockey tournament or how miserable you all were for four days, and how he resents you for asking him to stay home. Just a thought. Good luck with whatever you decide.
    I actually agree, JD. I think with careful planning, you guys could reach a compromise about the situation and be able to cope in his absence. Good luck, regardless, though, hon. I hope you feel better soon.

  8. #18
    FORT Fan Brodie's Avatar
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    I actually agree, JD. I think with careful planning, you guys could reach a compromise about the situation and be able to cope in his absence.
    Careful planning would be if he mentioned it a month ago... Did he just find out about this?? Personally, I'm single... But for most all of the guys I know that are married and have kids, a short notice weekend trip like this would be unheard of... If the trip had been on the calendar for a while, this would be a very different situation
    Ingorance killed the Cat... Curiousity was framed!

  9. #19
    Plotting spegs's Avatar
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    [rant on]

    This is my biggest pet peeve, grown into thread form. I side with most of the others here, and say make the man live up to his responsibilities. AJ, would you ever consider leaving him home with a new baby if he were sick? For even a day? (Editted to add: for recreational reasons--work is something else, of course) Congrats to you for even trying not to be a nag.
    [rant off]

    Anyway, dying to hear how it turns out. Best of luck and feel better!
    "Look, you love me, and I love you. Maybe in a different time, a different place, this would work out. But we both know that only one of us is leaving this room alive, and I'm the one holding the flame thrower." - Film Fakers

  10. #20
    Anarchist AJane's Avatar
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    Well, guys, the dust has settled and the husband will be spending the weekend with me & the kiddies I just said that I wasn't up to a whole weekend with no help right now & I preferred he took a pass on this tournament and he said OK.

    I feel better already

    Thanks to all you guys for your posts...big to you!
    All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
    I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
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