Ok, call me insane but I really don't see the big deal with the thong. If the girl is mature enough to wear them (at age 13) then let her wear them. They are only underware. If she's not pulling them up out of her pants for people to see, then there is no problem. Now I'm off to hide in my cave before all you FoRT mothers come and through rocks at me. :peek
Geez, lambikins, and I thought I was permissive :laugh
I never even considered genital piercings :omg so much for my being a cool mom...
*pauses for a moment to pray that daughters will not ask for tattoos at age 12 and that they will never, never request genital piercings*
I'd like to throw out this question to FORTers - what with the whole Extreme Makeover scene, there has been a lot of media attention to plastic surgery. What about kids (18 and under) who want to go under the knife? (be it nose, boobs, whatever). I'm talking elective surgery, not individuals that want to have scars removed or fix cleft palates. Would you let your kid do it????
If my child (I don't have any) asked for plastic surgery, I'd send him or her to a psychiatrist to deal with the self-esteem problem he/she must have. I don't think that psychologically well-balanced people want to get plastic surgery when they are young.
Originally Posted by averagejane
Okay, waiting to get flamed by people who've had plastic surgery :peek
I had a friend in high school that was a Double D at 16 and was already having back pain. She had breast reduction surgery at 17. I would be supportive in an instance like that. Even though it wasn't correcting a birth defect or anything, it was still a comfort issue and possibly prevented future medical problems. I also support any kind of dental or vision surgery. Most of them are low risk and of high cosmetic benefit. However, any other kind of plastice surgery can wait until they are adults, imo.
The whole plastic surgery issue depends on why. If it's for something that could cause pain later on in life (such as stargazers example) then it's a good thing. But for any "cosmetic" surgery, even 18 seems a little bit too young. 21, maybe.
This girl at my school got breast implants when she was 17 for a graduation present from her parents. She was constantly insulted for it and made fun of. She was notorious for being a slut. She "dated" Previal from Swollen Members. I think you should wait untill you are out of high school before you get any surgery like that because you will be teased and tormented about it. Unless it is Breast reduction surgery which a friend of mine was thinking about getting but she waited untill she was out of high school.
Nope, that falls under the "when you are 18 and you can pay for it" type of thing. I'm too busy saving my pennies for my own elective plastic surgery.
Originally Posted by averagejane
Nobody has mentioned this, so I will (and I don't think it's PG-13, this is important to hammer in kids heads.).With the dating question, just whether it is 14, 18 or whatever age, are parents planning to have a talk about contraceptives? That is the single most important issue considering one on one dates (whatever the kids say to their parents won't happen, might still happen). If the friend is allowing her daughter to date at 14, then she also should require her daughter to have a visit to OB/GYN, that visit alone might put some more common sense in the daughters head (however mature the kid would appear already). Some people might think something along the lines '... then they feel allowed to do everything', but they just might feel allowed to do everything even without, or they just might be drunk one night.
Regarding Plastic Surgery: I think it's a Case by Case basis. I have a client, whose young daughter was FIXATED, with a Capital F, on her nose. She blamed every issue that was wrong with her life, on her nose. I can't say if it was bad or big or ugly; I knew her since she was little and it just was there.
So, for her 16th birthday present, her parents gave her a "nose" job. The girls life turned around, 100%! Her grades soared, she graduated at the top of her High School class, securing a scholarship to an Ivy League school. She went out for drama, became the Senior Class President, and after college, landed an impressive job with Sotheby's!
She's now married, to a Junior senator from out East, lives in Washington D.C. and is the pride of her family.
I say, if ALL of this came about because her self-esteem was boosted, it was money well spent and an excellent decision by her parents.
Regarding sex talk; it should begin, in baby steps, from as soon as possible. No "Under the Cabbage Patch Leaf" crap!
Especially now adays, with the Sexual predators that are out there, to educate 5 years old and above, that touching in certain areas is a "No! No!" and a violation of personal space, it can't come too soon.
Maybe because my Mom was a model and hit on chronically, she educated me in the Birds and Bees, slowly, since I was 10. By 13, I was fully aware of EVERYTHING that was necessary for babies to be born. In fact, many of my girl friends learned at my mother's knees, since their parents were too embarrassed, or worse, yet, believed that if they didn't bring the subject up, their kid wouldn't think about S.E.X. Fools!!!
When I was 16 y.o., my mom took me to my first Gyn exam and had the doctor explain and show me birth control devices. She said, "If you're gonna do it, you might as well know how to prevent the consequences." I'll tell you, once you see an I.U.D. and a diaphragm at 16, it puts you right 'off' sex!
But, I was mature for my age and could handle my parents trust; maybe other kids couldn't handle the adult way that my parents raised me. However, we're not talking the "50's or 60's" any longer. There's AIDS, HIV, and Predators. The sooner a child knows what's what, the safer they can potentially be.
Plastic surgery? Unless it's life altering ...NO, you wait until you are 21 and your body has stopped growing and you can pay for it yourself.
Tattoos - see above
Piercings - My daughter has had pierced ears since she was 7 months old, if she's like more I don't think it's a problem, it's not permanent like tattoos.
Hair hyjinx? same - not permanent so not a problem.
Dating - 12 for the gaggle thing, 16 for the one on one dates (I think I feel a little safer than some of the moms here - in Canada we have a graduated licensing system, you can get a learner's license when you are 16 but you can't be alone in the car for a full year after you take your driving test, so the kids would be walking/public transpo/mom&dad taxi)
thongs - they're just underwear but I thank my lucky stars that they will probably be way out of date by the time my little darling wants to wear them
makeup - again, not permanent so no biggie.
This question is really hard - its subjective. Based on the security of the parents and the maturity of the child.
side note and slightly off topic - last Christmas my 20 yr old male cousin showed up with blue tipped spikey hair, both ears pierced, eyeliner and nail polish on one of his fingers. My husband looked him dead in the face and said 'did Santa bring you a dress and a purse too?' My uncle laughed so hard I thought he was going to pass out. He told his son " I told you, do what you want to your body but dont be surprised when you are ridiculed or turned down for a job because of it"
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