I say it's all Britney's fault :lol
Being a teenager/ young adult myself, I can understand both the point of views of the parents and the teens. However, like Average Jane said, for tats, where I'm from, you need permission. The weird thing is some parents are a-ok with that. Hair colour, piercings, makeup, underwear, all of that is not really permanent. A tattoo, on the other side, is. Something to think about.
Originally Posted by Silverstar
Silverstar, you know me too well. :winkgrin
I should probably clarify my whole tattoo thing, though - I'm talking about small tattoos that aren't on one buttcheeck or something like that. If someone wants to have a tattoo on their ankle of a mushroom at 16 (I actually have a friend who has that, and she's younger than 16) and their parents allow it, more power to them. Now, if it's half of your body covered in tattoos or a sexual tatoo or someone elses name, then 16 is kind of young to do that.
Light make up at 12 (well my 9 year old wears lip gloss but that is more like glitter chap stick) Highlights.....any time I guess, I colored my hair the first time at age 11, that cured me for a long time. Piercings, tatoos...waiting until 18 when she can pay for it and sign for it herself. (other then ears that is a welcome to middle school thing in my house)
Boys....if their father has his way, never. Actually I think 15 for group/double dating and 16 for other dating, but we met the guy first. Thong underwear, hmmm, I have no idea actually. I remember (decades and decades ago) when my Aunt in sunny CA sent us all string bikini underwear (4 girls oldest was 15, 14, 12, 9) My mom let us wear them even though she was a little shocked by how it looked, it worked well with the hip hugger jeans we were into at the time. I guess it just depends.
I have three daughters - ages 12, 13, and 14 . . .and let me just tell you, all teenagers are not created equal!! The 13 yr. old is the only one of the three who is into makeup, but only eyeliner, a little bit of eyeshadow, and maybe powder. Most days, it's only eyeliner - but she has to have it on before she will even grace us with her presence in the morning!
The 12 and 14 yr. old could basically care less about makeup. Trust me - I'm not complaining.
All three have colored their hair - either all over or with highlights . . . we do this at home - not at a salon. To me, this is one way where kids can express their individuality without any of it being permanent. Hair cuts grow back out, and color eventually fades.
Piercings (besides ears, of course) and Tattoos - over my dead body. Mr. Chrelsey and I have told them that when they are an adult and are living on their own, they can make their own decisions regarding this . . .but until that time, no way. Uh-uh. Not gonna happen.
Thongs? I agree with Stargazer - if, around say 16, they were wearing a prom dress or something similar and pantylines would be obvious, I would probably say O.K. - for that only. Otherwise, 18 sounds good to me.
Dating? Now that is the hot topic of the year in our house since my 14 yr. old is a freshman in High School, and her first boyfriend this year was a 17 yr. old junior. Our hard and fast rule has always been that you cannot go on a one-on-one date until 16 - at the earliest. When it comes to boys and relationships, she keeps asking me "At what age can I . . . ?" I finally had to tell her, there really isn't a "set age" that I will just one day wake up and say, "Oh, you're this age so you can do this now." I told her that a lot of it depends on her level of maturity and responsibility AND on the level of maturity and responsibility of those she is wanting to go out with. 16 isn't the magic age where suddenly its all allowed, but it is the age at which we will seriously consider it based on the above mentioned level of maturity and responsibility. And I think we're pretty fair. Truth be told, she (the 14 yr. old) is by far one of the most mature and responsible people I know . . . so I am sure that for her, dating at 16 will come to pass.
Are we strict parents? According to some, perhaps. There is certain music we do not allow in the house, and we are careful about the movies they watch. We have their friends over frequently so that we can get to know who they hang out with when they aren't at home. Do our kids hate us? No. Oh sure, some days they think they do, but they get over it. It's their job right now to try to push the limits, explore their individuality, and be embarrassed by us. It's our job to set reasonable rules and guidelines, instill good ethics and values, be consistent, and above all else, to love them.
I just feel sorry for Mr. Chrelsey - he spends every day smack-dab in the middle of Hormone Central. Even the dogs are girls!!!
You mean to tell me that my daughters (2 1/2 yrs and 9 mos) aren't going to want to wear Barney pajamas for the rest of their lives? :lol Locking them up in the basement is starting to sound like a good idea.
But seriously, I tend to agree with most of the others here who posted already.
Tattoos - definitely not until 18 and then still strongly discouraged.
Piercings - ears - whenever they want, navel - maybe at 16. I'm pretty liberal as far as piercings go. I have more earrings than my wife.
Thongs - I don't want to know about it.
Dating - I don't want to think about it, but when the time comes, I'm going to make sure that I'm cleaning my guns at the kitchen table when the young buck comes to pick her up.
Don't really care about all except tattoos. Don't get them until she's fully mature. It's something permanent, of course it would be really really odd to get tattoos around here in Asia since it's not that common.
My daughter is 12, but all her friends have either just turned 13 or are about too. She started school a few days after her 5th birthday, so she's always been the youngest in her class.
Middle school has been interesting because there are SO many girls wearing *interesting* clothes, lots of makeup, and multiple ear piercings. There are a couple 8th graders with belly rings, but none of my daughters friends have them.
My daughter has taken to *making* her own clothes. What this means really is cutting the sleeves off of shirts and putting rips into jeans (anyone remember the 80's?). The fashions she is designing still cover her body (except for the shirt she made yesterday which she cut up the sides, then tied all the way down). It still looked really good, she just realized she should have measured where her bra was so it didn't show... live and learn.
I think I''m rambling.
1. Highlights - I have never had a problem with my kids doing whatever they wanted with their hair. My husband doesn't want any chemicals in thier hair as he says it fries it and they will regret it.
2. Thong underwear -hmmmm, she has shown NO interest in them and says that she figures they would be so freakin' uncomfortable. Fine with me.
3. Pierce Belly button - She HAS shown interest here, but only with the clip ons. She said she didn't want a tiny dot scar to show if she ever wore a bikini. (she has a huge scar from an interesting appendecony she had last year :shrug)
4. Tattoo She has used those temp tats and says she'd never want a real one because you wouldn't be able to change it. That's cool.
5. Makeup 13 sounds good to me. She has worn slightly colored lip gloss, but hasn't shown interest in other stuff.
6. Dating one on one- Her dad will never allow this :laugh I say 16
You have a great daughter cali :nod
Originally Posted by cali
I also think those ages are a bit young
Just like someone stated above, I was given an age to get my ears pierced (9) but by the time that age came, I didn't want them anymore. Still don't.
Body peircing and tatooing I would say 18 ro over, when your out of the house. However I have an acquantaince who went to get a mother daughter tatoo with her 16/17 year old. That I wouldn't mind, they talked about it a lot first, she got to pick out the parlor etc.
Thong- I shudder at the thought, I wouldn't want to wear one. But for spandex and that type of thing, then why not? If my kids in gymnastics and needs one, then I won't ban them.
dating - 16, that was my age.
Haircoloring - tween/teen if they really want to try it, go over the ramifications and let them choose. Or buy one day hair colors, that's what I did. Streaked my hair blue, red, gold etc and it all washes out. Koolaiding was also big in my school.
Make-up, I experinemnted around 13, if you say an outright 'no' then they'll wear way more than a sit down. Unfortunately my mom was/is rather butch, and would always say something negative about wearing it to cover the fact that she didn't know how to use it herself. Teach the girl when she starts asking, and then go out with them to buy it.
I'll answer this question two ways: What my best friend does with her three daughters: 15, 13, and 10 and then, what my partner and I plan to do with our future children.
BEST FRIEND: She realizes that this is the age that they are exploring their looks and images. Everything is compromise. She also set up a schedule of ages for the girls, but it's tentative. The eldest doesn't want ANYTHING to do with 'girly' stuff , preferring armour and swords! The mid girl, 13, is a real hoochie and would have had everything done by age 10! The 10 year old...she's swinging both ways: one time she wants to do grown up stuff, the other times she's Sporty Spice.
For piercings: 16
For tattoos: She compromised, with my suggestion, and the girls are allowed to wear 'fake' tattoos on week-ends and special occasions. This has really helped and they feel special. No talk of permanent ones has ensued after this.
Dating: Hasn't come up as an issue.
Hair: Any age. The 10 year old wanted to have stick, straight hair (she's African-American), so her mom said, "We'll try it once, and if you maintain it, you can have it." She has maintained it beautifully, so it's straightened and colored.
Thongs: Come on folks, it's just underwear! Once a woman wears it and feels how uncomfortable it is, they usually stop. All the girls have it, at each age. Depending on their mood, they wear it or not. My friend usually washes them once a month, at most.
Now, for my partner and I: we've joked that we're going to be the hippie, cool parents that were like Michael J. Fox's on that old sitcom, where he was the Young Republican.
I could do anything that I wanted, when I wanted, as a child, because my mom said, "I taught you everything that you need to know and if you screw up now, it's your own fault." This was said to me around 13. Placing the blame squarely on me made me more accountable for mistakes, plus, it had the benefit that once the 'thrill' of arguing my point was mute, I didn't press for the things any longer.
Piercings: When the kid wants them, anywhere expect genital. They have to be 18 for that.
Hair: again, you want blue...get blue...or purple...or red. But, be prepared for the looks and talk.
Tattoos: I have 9 so I can't say anything. I'd say, we'd go temporary again, but, if they had a good case for getting one at say, 12, I'd let them have it. After all, that's what laser surgery was all about.
Dating: Single: depends on the child, but, they should be at least driving age. Group: 12 and above.
I think that does it.
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