If she were my daughter, I'd let her do what she wanted when she was 25
If she were my daughter, I'd let her do what she wanted when she was 25
"Among the blind, the squinter rules." ~ Gerard Didier Erasmus
I would think that would be SUPER efficient! Or else to say "we get to embarass you in front of your friends--by singing showtunes!"Originally Posted by astrogirl_2100
I am not a parent either, but yeah, a lot of that stuff seems like her ages are too young. I never understood young girls obsession with makeup. Even women who are older that wear a lot of makeup...I always preferred the natural look. Now, I know that even the natural look has some make-up involved, but its minimal as far as I can tell. I guess Joan Rivers just always scared me.
And dating one on one....14 is way too young. 16 at least...if you can't drive by yourself, then you can't date by yourself. Plus, dating one on one as a teen is overrated in my book. I just remember going out with a big group of friends...boys and girls, and just enjoying having fun and being young with each other.
Thong underwear at 13?!?!? Isn't the main reason for wearing thong undies to hide the pantylines and make your butt look better?? 13 year olds do not need to be doing that in this sick and twisted world.
"You don't own a TV?!? What's all your furniture pointed at?" Joey Tribianni
It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.
I said no to thong underwear until 18, but I had another thought about it. If she wore an outfit where the pantlines were blatant (tight prom dress, etc), I would probably let her wear a thong with it starting around age 16. Otherwise, she'd probably just take them off and go without, which would be even worse
Last edited by Stargazer; 01-15-2004 at 08:34 PM.
"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda
"I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson
They wouldn't do that, embarrass me in front of my friends (okay, I didn't have any friends, but that's not the point). It was more like "you can do it, but we don't have to like it". I was a kid who wanted my parrents to like me. I think "I don't like it, but it is your choice" is much more efficient than "I forbid it". I remember my classmates who had strict rules at home were usually the first to try drinking, smoking, wear make-up, whatever teenagers do to impress their friends, while I, who were allowed to do what I wanted, sat at home playing games on my computer or reading books.Originally Posted by mrdobolina
Okay heres the opinion of a 14 year old girl. I wore mascara since I was 12. Now I sometimes wear eyeliner if I'm going out at night, but nothing more. I don't need highlights because I already have streaks from the sun. But, I think 12 is fine to get them. Now, I got a thong when I started playing volleyball when I was 13 because we had to wear spandex. I don't wear them much, only if I'm wearing a skirt or something lke that. Belly button, I think 17-18 is fine. Tattoos at 15, thats Crazy. I would say 18 is a good age to get a tattoo. And dating one on one, I think 16 is a good age. I agree that you should be able to drive before you should do that. But it also depends on what age the guy is. If he were the same age, I wouldn't really mind, but if he were say 18, I would totally freak out.
If I had a daughter I would never let her wear thongs. Makeup at 13 I think is fine, but not too much, just a little bit. Piercings, 16/17, tatoos...when I am dead. Dating one-on-one would happen when my shotgun runs out of bullets. But if it wasn't my daughther I would say 16.
What a funny thread, tallulah ...
As many of you know I have a 15 year old I call the Brooding Bumpkin. We are dealing with many of these issues, and have been since middle school.
Highlights - This is pretty harmless, IMHO. The Brooder got some streaks probably by 12 or 13, and lately got bored with the maintenance involved. My hairdresser colored over her highlights with her natural color, and just having the color applied professionally seemed to make her 'normal' color more vibrant.
Thong underwear - I think it depends on the girl. My daughter has this innate sense of modesty, so letting her wear thongs at 13 wasn't a big deal. Not as if anyone were going to see them. And it made her feel more 'grown up'
Belly Button Piercing - All I've heard is that *everyone* has their belly button pierced. I'm not ready for it. Several of her girlfriends have had this done, but I just thing it's a bad idea. By way of comprimise, you can find 'faux' navel jewelry at Sally's Beauty Supply or Claire's. Sort of like clip-on earrings. We did this, and it seemed to end the whining.
Tattoo - I think 16 is way too young to indulge in a fad whose consequences are permanent. And I don't think teens realize the amount of pain involved in getting one. I'd vote 18 here.
Makeup - I think we started out with eyeliner (and I sent her to the bathroom several mornings to wash it off and start over.) Really all she wears now is eyeliner and eyeshadow. She has some powdered foundation, but doesn't like to use it. Aaaah. To have that kind of skin again! I'd vote high school here.
Dating - This is an issue at my house now. I'm really not prepared. Since 13 she's gone to the small-town movie theater and met up with a gaggle of friends. But lately, her friends are beginning to turn 16 and the guys who are interested in going out with her are all driving.
Frankly, I'm just not ready for her to get in the car with another teenager. Everytime I read a news article about a teen getting in a wreck, I personalize it to her.
There's a senior boy who has been calling lately. He's going to pop the question soon, and I'll be out looking for a ring guard to make the class ring fit. She's asked if they could date, and I have explained that it is dependent on more factors than age. I want to meet the fellow. I'd like for him to come to the house and 'hang out'. I'd like to get to know him and have some confidence in his maturity before I let him take my daughter on a date.
And yeah, my daughter tells her friends I am "strict" and "old-fashioned" and she smiles when she says it.
Actually all the ages (even the tatoo and the dating ) seem about normal to me. At about 16, teens usually want control over themselves and not as much direction, and that usually leads to tats as self-expression. Then again, I am on the younger end of the spectrum in the FORT, so it may just be me...
I should elaborate - I think that stuff is OK, but my husband refuses to even contemplate that our little darlings may want their navels pierced by the time they hit junior high...and don't even talk to him about dating - I pity the poor boys who darken our door
Makeup and hair colour is minor stuff. I agree, Bumpkin, a tattoo at a young age is probably not a good idea (try to tell that to a 16-yr-old...sigh). Where we live, though, minors (under 18) need permission from their parents before getting tats or piercings (like you mentioned, astrogirl). Personally, I wouldn't let someone engrave my skin with permanent ink but hey, that's just me
I think the thong thing is like crop tops, low-rider jeans, etc. - clothing trends that will be gone within a couple of years. They make us parents cringe, but hey, didn't our parents hate the skin-tight acid-washed jeans, the backcombed hair, etc., etc.?
All my life, I have felt destiny tugging at my sleeve.~ Thursday Next
I don't want to "go with the flow". The flow just washes you down the drain. I want to fight the flow.- Henry Rollins
All this spiritual talk is great and everything...but at the end of the day, there's nothing like a pair of skinny jeans. - Jillian Michaels
This is a good point. Tallulahbaby, you may want to encourage your friend to show her daughter pictures of *herself* as a teenager. I'm sure that would adequately prove to the child that she may not want to be stuck with the ramifications of current fashion.Originally Posted by averagejane
It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins