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Thread: PC or not PC, that is the question!

  1. #1
    FORT Fogey lambikins's Avatar
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    PC or not PC, that is the question!

    My best friend, Ali, lives in a 3 bedroom apartment and recently advertized for another roommate. The other roommate that lives there, Steve, has shared it with Ali for 6 months.

    Stat: *Ali is gay and in a serious relationship.
    *Steve is straight...and horny...and in NO relationship that
    doesn't last any longer than his hang-overs.
    *May, was straight, hot, but in a relationship.She left for N.Y.

    So, the process of interviewing roommates began and the stories of the people we met will be told for years, making for great bar talk! We finally settled on a female, Sandi, who the minute she walked into the apartment, Steve went schwiiiiing and didn't stop drooling. She's blond, svelt, and an arobics instructor at a local gym. Status: Single.

    No sooner had the door shut on her tight buns, than Steve said, "She's HOT and she's MINE!" We threw a pail of water on the boy and said, "No!!! Bad dog! Bad dog!"

    Tonight, Ali and I are going to have a "talk" with Steve, educating him on "What is correct and what is sexual harrassment," so he gets a clue. We don't want this new woman to be so bothered by Steve that she doesn't view it as her home, too. We don't want that she can't sit in a t-shirt and shorts, as Ali does, or just hang around the place without a move being busted on her. But, we've hung out with Steve in bars, and he tracks women like prey, meant to be hunted down and knawed to the bone!

    Below, I've listed some PC and non-PC phrases that I'm going to print out for Steve to follow, who is an average Joe, and clueless about women (think Phuc/David combined)!

    I'd love for you to add some more, so I can give this guy a clue and a guide, and save ourselves the ordeal of looking for another roomie.

    Thanks in advance!!! Lambikins

    ****************************** ***********************

    PC: "Nice perfume."
    Non: "You smell soooooo nice."

    PC: "Nice Sweater." Or, "Cool Sweater."
    Non: "You look HOT in that sweater, thong, skirt...nude!"

    PC: "I haven't eaten yet. Ya wanna go grab a bite to eat or order a pizza?"
    Non: "Would you like to go out for drinks or dinner?"

    ****************************** *********************

    That's it! What would you add that crosses the line and stays behind it?
    Still crazy, after all these shears

    "lambikins, put the crack pipe down and back away from the keyboard." Unklescott

    "lambikins... I have come to the conclusion that you are the Jedi Master of the Kitchen on FORT!" SuperBrat

  2. #2
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    PC- "nice sweater"
    non- "great t**s"

    PC- "can you grab that bag on the floor for me?"
    Non- "Bend over a little more for me, now shake alittle, yeah like that mmm"

    PC- "are you going to shower now?"
    Non- "Can I watch?"

    PC- good eye contact
    Non-playing close attention to the lace pattern on her bra that you can see through her shirt

    That's all I can think of....hope that was PG13 enough
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  3. #3
    80's Rule! karna68's Avatar
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    Are you sure you should have picked this girl knowing he's like that? Maybe they need another guy roommate. If he's that bad I have a feeling he's going to make Sandi very uncomfortable. JMHO.

  4. #4
    FORT Fogey lambikins's Avatar
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    The problem is: the guys we interviewed.

    Now...are you sitting for this?

    We had a wonderful guy come in to interview, but he turned US down.....because the two of them.....watched television!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm not talking about 24/7, shite tv; I'm talking about the normal, 6-7 am News, then the 7-10pm main stream stuff. And only on the days they watch tv. He was one of the Proud, the Few, that likes to brag about "not watching a television for the past 3 years, except when 9/11 was on."

    Another man, asked us out-right, as the interview progressed nicely, "Why aren't you asking me the 'hard' questions: like 'Why do you need to move from where you live? Do you have a Criminal record?' How do you know that I won't move in and steal everything from you?" He also said, in response to the 3 month old kitten that she has, "Did you ever love something so much that you'd like to bite it or throw it against the wall?"

    I am NOT kidding you!

    After 38 interviews, from people who couldn't come up with a $300 security deposit and $300 rent, Sandi seemed like a dream come true.

    Plus, we've had two other female roommates here, since Steve moved in and he's treated every one of them like a Princess. But....they were both attached.

    So, the talk is tomorrow and I was hoping for some help from the "television-watching, slack-jawed yokels" that we all are, at the FORT, before I talk to him.
    Still crazy, after all these shears

    "lambikins, put the crack pipe down and back away from the keyboard." Unklescott

    "lambikins... I have come to the conclusion that you are the Jedi Master of the Kitchen on FORT!" SuperBrat

  5. #5
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambikins
    He also said, in response to the 3 month old kitten that she has, "Did you ever love something so much that you'd like to bite it or throw it against the wall?"
    I'm somewhat tempted to make that my new sig line.. Holy crap, people are weird!
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  6. #6
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    I'm definitely not trying to make light of the situation, but give Steve a month w/ Sandi. Once he starts seeing the pad wrappers in the trashcan, the skidmarks in the toilet bowl, her dirty dishes left in the sink, her embarrassing farts...well, you get the point. Suddenly Sandi will go from "hot piece of meat" to "my other roomate".

    I saw this with one of my roomates when we hosted two Czech Republic females for the summer. He thought it would be an easy score....till he started living with them. Their basic daily habits popped his "perfect girl" dream. Hope everything works out!

  7. #7
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    You sound a bit bitter, Speedy.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  8. #8
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy
    You sound a bit bitter, Speedy.

    Quite the opposite, actually! See, while I was the one who treated them like regualr roomates, it was ME who ended up becoming involved with one of the girls. Boy, my roomate was mad! Hee Hee!

  9. #9
    Can They Do It?? mrdobolina's Avatar
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    Lambikins---do you live there too??
    "You don't own a TV?!? What's all your furniture pointed at?" Joey Tribianni

    It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.

  10. #10
    FORT Fogey lambikins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrdobolina
    Lambikins---do you live there too??
    Yes, and no. Ali is my partner and I have a home in another state, an hour's drive away. When I need to work in the city, or, when Ali and I are doing 'city stuff', I'll be there for 2-3 days in a row. Then, I'll head back into the country, with Al in tow.

    The guy who gave us the 'kitten' comments, so unnerved the three of us (we all sat in for the interviews), that Steve stood by the 2nd floor window, and watched for 15 minutes, to make sure that the guy not only left the building but the block. Steve took a 2 x 4 and jammed it into the doorframe at night for a week, just in case!

    Speedbump: I'm hoping that living with her on a normal daily basis will be the cure. However, as nice as Steve is (and he's a grand roommate), he's as thick as rice pudding, so we have to 'guide' him with How to Act scenarios. I just want to lay the ground rules out for him, so that he doesn't think that saying to Sandi, "Wow! You look really HOT today!", puts her off and makes her not want to come home.

    A boyfriend for her wouldn't hurt, either.

    Steve looks like Donato, from AJ2! Easily 150 pounds overweight.
    Still crazy, after all these shears

    "lambikins, put the crack pipe down and back away from the keyboard." Unklescott

    "lambikins... I have come to the conclusion that you are the Jedi Master of the Kitchen on FORT!" SuperBrat

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