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Thread: as it turns out, ebay is my sister-in-law’s junkyard, and home of all my x-mas gifts

  1. #31
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wayner
    That is too funny, Shazzer!

    I also work for a multinational corporation. I don't have a name like "John Smith" or anything, but there used to be two other guys in the company with the same name. For a while, two of us worked in the same building. It was hell. I would often get his email, his snail mail, and calls from the lobby telling me my guest was waiting.
    This happened to my husband in college...he was there with a guy who had the same first, middle and Polish last name. All through college they would get each other's mail, class lists, advisors would mess them up. When he graduted my husband thought he was safe, turns out the guy moved to the same city my husband did (apparently grew up near there) We would get phone calls for him all the time. And of course, he got calls for my husband. The worst was when a crying woman called, asked for my husband, he starts talking to her and she is telling him how her dad had died and how awful she felt etc etc. (he is going nuts trying to figure out who this is...this is pre call waiting days) She asks him to be a pall bearer and finally he has to blurt out, "I'm sorry I don't know who this is." Turns out she was calling for the other guy. Well we moved, for 9 blissfull years, it was no problem at all.
    Well we moved again to the other side of the state, go to a new pharmacy, with the records for many stores on the computer and when my husband goes for his first prescription, it gets all messed up because it's trying to bill a guy with the same first, middle and last name, taking the exact same medication. Living in the next town. I'm not sure if it's him again but geez.
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

  2. #32
    everyone's a critic... holly71's Avatar
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    I forgot about this story until just now, when I went to dig something out of the back of the closet:

    A couple of years ago, my MIL's aunt died. She was a widow & never had children. She & my MIL were very close. Well, when she passed, my MIL went to her condo to go through her belongings. A lot of it was donated to charity, but there were a few things that she kept. She kept some little knicknacks that reminded her of her visits there as a child, a photo album, and a couple of really cool vintage beaded purses. Well, she's showing me the stuff she kept & then tells me that she brought something for me because she thought I'd like it. I'm thinking it's one of the vintage purses, but nooooooo, it was these HIDEOUS brass unicorn head bookends! I was racking my brain trying to figure out what in the name of all that is good would make her think I would EVER like something so tacky?!?!? I have no unicorns in my house. I have no brass in my house. What on earth would possess her to give me those? I finally decided it was her secret way of saying she hates me & wants me to die. No, I didn't really think that, but I never did find out what she gave her other daughter-in-law. I've always wondered if it was one of those purses! If I ever find out it was, then I'm really going to be offended! Well, jealous at least.

    ETA: I kept the unicorns, but they are shoved in the back of one of the closets in my guest room.
    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

  3. #33
    Reality TV Junkie Butterflies's Avatar
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    LOL...I just had to say all of these stories have been so entertaining! I need a good laugh these days and I can always find it here at FORT!! Thanks and keep 'em comin!!
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  4. #34
    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
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    My sister-in-law removed the item from ebay, and I wouldn’t post a pic here anyway, in case she does some kind of random dolphin searching on the net and comes across my rant about her.

    Okay, can I just quote all of you? Great stories people! The payroll glitches, the lawsuits, the errant e-mails. And hepcat! The big-eyed children! Actually those are a little too nice to be a gift from her.

    And no I didn’t bid on the dolphin because I didn’t want to win.

    Here’s a vague idea of the clowns, although honestly, this is NICE compared to what was painted on that mirror (hepcat you may be right, she is trying to frighten me..).



    And to make up for that horrifying image, I’ll post this just because it’s so freakin’ cute!!

    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

  5. #35
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    That is vile-looking. The teased-up hamster is hilarious.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  6. #36
    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy
    That is vile-looking. The teased-up hamster is hilarious.
    Except it's really such a let down. It's nowhere NEAR as hideous as the actual clown pic. This is *nice* in comparison. I posted another pic that turned into a red x and that one would have induced nightmares and would have been much closer to the original.
    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

  7. #37
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    that hamster looks like it is wearing a cheap wig. just as long as you do not show me one with a comb over we are safe! hehehe!
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

  8. #38
    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    Hey, isn't that hamster wearing Donald Trump's toupee?
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

  9. #39
    Caged Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion Maveno's Avatar
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    light switch cover

    It was my gf's birthday 2 years ago and I bought her a weight machine. It all came disassembled in a box that weighed probably 150 lbs...so I needed help getting it on our back patio.
    We were close with our neighbor, so I asked her to help me carry it to the back.

    **I have to add a background on her**
    She is one of those people who is a KNOW.IT.ALL. Swear, it was really bad, and the worse case I've ever come across. No matter WHAT you start to talk about, she already knows all about it. Here is her PATENT line with everything..and yes, it's verbatim.. "Oh yea..no, no..I know" or "Yea, yea...I already knew that".
    Let me tell you, it wasn't even MILDLY annoying...it would immediately make my skin crawl and the hair on the back of my neck stand up. No lie.

    Anywho..that's a whole other story.

    She asks me why I bought it. I said it was Zaaam's (gf's Fort name) birthday and she has always wanted one. Honest to God..she says..."Ohhh well, yea...I knew it was her BIRTHDAY..I just wanted to know why this"..
    I knew she was lying..again, but who cares. Then she says, "Wanna see what I got her??" Now she's trying to be "all-knowing" of everything...and trying to prove to me that she was all "heads-up" on getting a present.
    "Sure" I say.
    Then she goes on and on about how "When I saw it, I immediately thought of Zaaam!! It's totally her!!"
    Now I'm perplexed..thinking..hmmm..may be she DID know it was her birthday. No. She didn't. She comes out holding a double light switch cover!!! No folks, it wasn't even just a plain ole double light switch cover. I'll do my best to describe this thing..
    There was a decoupage cat on it was outlined in glitter glue. The glitter glue was all around the edges, and to top it off...there were hanging cheapy-dangly plastic beads glued to the bottom of it.
    ?????????????????????????????? ????????

    She was all proud..and I was smiling BIG!! I know this post has reached it's 6000 word per post limit, so I'll just wrap it up by saying that THIS gift IS the ugliest, most unusual, gaudiest, cheapest, unconventional, etc..gift I've ever seen! We still have it, because it's brought us so much joy and laughter. Hmm..maybe it's a great gift afterall.
    Last edited by Maveno; 01-09-2004 at 03:59 PM.
    All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in
    life that which is unnoticed has the most power.

  10. #40
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    That lightswitch cover sounds so much like a sweatshirt that Sher's Grandma made her one Christmas.
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

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