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Thread: How Young is too young ....

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    Foxxy Girl Missin Dave's Avatar
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    How Young is too young ....

    how young is too young to be thinking about marriage?

    I'm 15 in two months and I'm "Engaged" to an 18 yr. (in a month and 6 days almost) old senior. This is my Freshman year, and already I've met my "soul-mate". I really do love him and think this is "The One". What do you think
    Missin Dave

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey
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    Sweetie, I am not going to be one of those people who tell you it's "puppy love" and it will go away. I know that the love you feel is very real to you. But I will tell you this, and keep in mind, that this is only my story and opinion. I married at 19. Yes, I was very in love. But I was personally still too young. However, what I have learned is that you grow up a lot during your 20s. Just as much, if not more, than you do in your teens. What you want in life at 15 may not be what you want at 21, what you want at 25 may not be what you want at 30. There are young marriages that work out. But heartache at any age hurts. Just remember, you have a lot of living to do. I was in too much of a "hurry" to start that part of my life. I had no clue what life was about, and I was promising mine away to someone else. Do not be afraid to wait as long as you may need, experience life as much as you need to. If he is your soulmate, if it is really love, it will not go away over night. It will be there when you are ready. If you rush things too much, you run the risk of resenting each other in the long run. I hope this doesn't sound too preachy, I just know I can very well remember being your age, and how it feels.

  3. #3
    JR.
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    You'll probably hate me for saying this, but you are WAY too young to be thinking like that now. You are just getting to the point in life where you will meet a lot of new people and experience a lot of new things. You're just starting out and you've got a long life ahead, so why rush things?

    I don't buy into the whole "soulmate" thing, but I'm not questioning your feelings. Like Scarlett said, your wants can and probably will change. How long have you known him, and how long have you been dating?

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    FORT Fogey
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    14? I'm only 18! Honestly though, you are 4 years younger than me and I can't picture many of the people I know being mature enough to get married. I don't believe a Freshman in high school can possibly mature enough. I know many Freshman and they are not mature enough.

    Honestly, I say you should definitely date this guy for a long long long time. Do NOT rush into marriage you may really regret it. Look at Makalay Culkin. He got married at 17 and ended up getting divorced a few months later.

    Yes, you can be mature for your age, but even if you are mature at 14 and may be more mature than most kids in your school, that would still put you at the maturity level of an 18 year old.

    Besides, I don't know about you but I would not want to be thinking about marriage and everything that comes with it during your high school years. This is supposed to be your last fun years of school. That is, unless you go to college. So live them up and don't get married until you're at least out of high school, you will not regret this. There is plenty of time to be married, but you're only a teenager and young once, so make the most of it.

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    RESIDENT JEDI MASTER Stargazer's Avatar
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    Well, I know you won't believe me, but I just have one thing to say. A lot of what I thought I wanted at 15 is now laughable to me. Your ideas and desires will change so much in the next five years that you will barely recognize yourself. It's possible that your fiancee will grow and change with you and that you really do have a future together. However, it is just as possible that you could change and grow apart. I would play it safe with a *long* engagement.
    "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda

    "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson

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    Spiderman 2 - June 30 audiomaster's Avatar
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    I can't believe getting married like when I was 15... or even... now. SO not ready. SO not settled. Missin Dave, maybe you should hold back a little, when the year is more older and your thoughts are more matured. If he really likes you, he will be willing to wait for you. I hope I make some sense there...

  7. #7
    Leo
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    I'm turning 20 in January, and I can't imagine being married anytime soon. Sorry to say this, Missin Dave, but I think it's way to early.

  8. #8
    Spiderman 2 - June 30 audiomaster's Avatar
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    to Leo. I was thinking of going single ! When someone younger than me is GETTING MARRIED. wow !

  9. #9
    The Truth Is Out There ixcrisxi's Avatar
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    Hey, all!

    Okay, time for Crissy to add her "worldly wisdom" to the fray... Okay, MissinDave... I'm 16 (so I guess I'm the closest one you can relate to at the moment). I don't mean to talk down to you in any way with a bunch of 'when I was 14' blah blah blah... I feel, though, that I was almost exactly like you when I was 14. I seriously did feel that this guy I was "dating" was my "soulmate" but I was terribly wrong... I mean, now that I've grown a little and had time to get to know the people I grew up with, I learned a lot. I noticed things that annoyed me about the people who were closest to me. I know that I rushed my emotions a little bit. I admit that I'm just as naive now as I was then in different ways... Trust that I know now that I can't rush things to get what I want.

    I want to make sure that I'm going to be okay with someone for the rest of my life before I tie the knot. There will be no turning back for me... From 14 to 16, for me, was a big jump in likes and dislikes. I used to be sorta tom-boyish... Now, I'm so girly! I just hope that you wait and really date this guy and get to know him really well before you start to seriously think about marriage, okay? I'm not grown up yet (I probably never will) but I can say that I've already missed a lot trying to be older than I was.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should make sure that you don't make false assumptions to 'un-hang' the jury.
    Last edited by ixcrisxi; 12-28-2003 at 05:20 AM. Reason: typos
    MULDER: It's still there, Scully. 200,000 years down in the ice.

    SCULLY:
    Leave it there.

  10. #10
    An innocent bystander nlmcp's Avatar
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    Missin Dave...all I can say if he is "the one" He won't mind wanting awhile for marriage. You and he have a lot to do before getting married and the big thing you have to get done is your education. He needs to focus on the same.

    As for what everyone else is saying....I do have to agree. People change as they get older. I was engaged once before meeting my husband and realised while the guy I was engaged to was nice and I loved him, it wasn't going to work. We wanted totally different lives and had such different view points it wasn't going to work.

    Slow down, take your time. There are many things you need to do before marriage so enjoy the dating life with your boyfriend now and think about marriage later.
    I could go east, I could go west, it was all up to me to decide. Just then I saw a young hawk flyin' and my soul began to rise. ~Bob Seger

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