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Thread: How Young is too young ....

  1. #11
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    I echo nlmcp.

    If he's "Mr. Right", he'll be "Mr. Right" in 3 years, 5 years, 8 years, whenever. And he'll be willing to wait for you, if you're "Ms. Right" for him.

  2. #12
    foolhardy comrade Moon Skin Child's Avatar
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    But I really think you should just go to school, be a normal teen, just wait till you grow up before considering marriage.

    But the again, nobody listens to a twelve-year-old, so why should you? Just kidding about that last one.
    I was in love with a difficult man.

  3. #13
    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    I think as we grow our capacity for love changes. As we gain knowledge our understanding of what it takes to love completely deepens. At 15 I knew love in a diffeent way than I do now. Today I would not choose to marry the person I loved when I was 15(or19 or 23 or 25). That is not to say that the love I felt then was any less real. It was my deepest love for that particular age. I am a completely different person than I was at 15. If I had married my boyfriend from that age I would have five or six children. Whew! I am so glad that was not the case. I can barely handle two. I look back now and thank God that I did not marry any of those people. I have never loved anyone more deeply or more completely than my husband(who I met when I was 26). Even since him I have experienced an intensely different love; the love I have for my children.

    Love is sooo persuasive. It causes us to consider things that we would never even think of under other circumstances. So, step back and take love out of the equation. Would you recommend that any friend of yours get engaged at 15? What do you think is a good age for your sister(if you have one)to get married?

    You have so many guages for weather this is "the one" for you or not. The absolute best guage is time. Once you are married you can not undo it. Yes, you can get a divorce, but that does not mean that the marriage did not happen. So, your best bet is to wait and make sure that this person is who you want to spend the rest of your life with and any age that you are. It is a wonderful thing that knowledge can be gained at any age. Unfortunately wisdom only comes with age. I encourage you to love deeply, love completely and above all love wisely.
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

  4. #14
    hee Mdrio9's Avatar
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    I just think it's a better idea to wait a few years before you elope. I don't think you'd want to rush into anything until you've given things more time. Plus, living together can very different from just dating.

  5. #15
    FORT Regular AcidRaine's Avatar
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    I am going to jump on the bandwagon here and join the others saying to take this very very very slow and just concentrate on school. Have fun, make mistakes, go to parties, go to the mall, hang out with friends, heck date other guys at one point. Seriously, try to find out who YOU are and grow into who you want to be before you decided to get married and take on a whole pethora of responsibilities. I guess, when we are in our teens we just can't wait to grow up and be all independent and such. Which is weird because when you are in your middle to late 20's-40's all you want to do is be a kid again.

    If this guy really is the guy you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with, then it doesnt matter if you get married a week from now or 6 years from now he will love you and be with you reguardless. So, why rush it?

  6. #16
    FORT Fogey eldee's Avatar
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    :yeah that and I agree with nlmcp. IMO, before you share your life and become one with someone else, you need to live and experience your own life separate from anyone else.

    In this generation, regardless of what you want to do with your future, an education is so important. Education is more than just going to class and turning in assignments on time. It has to do with making independent decisions re: what is right for you. That may not always be possible when you have a husband to think of. School will give you such a broad POV and open up your world to different people, values, experiences, etc, etc.

    Do you really want to become sexually involved in a marriage? What if he is ready to start a family early and you aren't but, you go along with it because he is your husband and it might seem like a natural progression to the relationship? Don't you want to maybe kiss a few other guys before you settle down with one?

    No offense to the guy but, I also have to wonder about a man who gets involved and wants to marry a girl who hasn't tasted her own life yet. The situation may seem ideal to both now but, when things get rough and touch, what mental, emotional or spiritual stength will you develop when you will rely on someone else at such an early time of your life?

    I really can't think of any marriage or union where they, especially the girl, didn't wish that they married younger. Actually, most wish that they waited for a while longer.

    Good luck to you.

  7. #17
    FORT Fogey
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    Quote Originally Posted by eldee
    ...I really can't think of any marriage or union where they, especially the girl, didn't wish that they married younger. Actually, most wish that they waited for a while longer...
    VERY good point Eldee. Well said!

  8. #18
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    I have nothing to add ... MissingDave, you asked for a nudge in the right direction I hope you take the sage advice of others into account.
    (especially those who have lived it, like my good friend Scarlett)
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  9. #19
    FORT Fogey joeguy's Avatar
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    trust me, I didn't get married till I was 38, time will change you....now that you've read this far down, go back up to Scarlett530's first post and read it again, there are alot of words of wisdom there for you to read and understand

  10. #20
    everyone's a critic... holly71's Avatar
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    to everything said here! What's important at 15 changes when you're 17, & when you're 21, etc. Emotionally, you will grow so much in the next several years. Both of you will. Please wait & experience life on your own before you get married. You'll be surprised how much you learn about yourself.
    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

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