My friends and I aren't particularly affectionate with one another. We all love each other to death, but we never hug, we never exchange gifts with one another, we never say things like "I'll always be there for you.", etc. Frankly, it just isn't in our personalities. It almost seems fake to act that way in our minds. So when one of our friends was having a baby shower a few years ago, my best friend and I had a conversation on the ride there about how we were going to have to oooh and ahh at stupid crap we had no real interest in. We made a deal that neither of us would call out the other for the fake manner in which we were expected to act that afternoon. We sealed it with "And let us never speak of it again.", shamelessly stolen from an episode of the Simpsons. From that point on, every time we were in a situation where one of us was going to have to be "that person" in front of the others, "let us never speak of it again" was our customary phrase.
Also, now whenever my boyfriend and I get into a spat, he can end it with one phrase: "But I'm a ninja." We were arguing about something stupid one time, and I was getting really pissed. I was all set to go off on one of my rants, but he looked at me and said "Bu-bu-but I'm a ninja!" I don't know why he said it, but I couldn't stop laughing. Fight over. It works every single time now.
So here's what I want to know: what stupid traditions do you have with friends and loved ones? I don't mean the sweet "We always go to her favorite jazz joint every year on Arbor Day" ones. I want the toasts you have to make before each shot, the inside jokes that have made their way into your lives, the ones that you find hilarious no matter how much time has passed. I'm bored today. Take pity on me.