Online Dating?

[jucamer]

I wouldn't count out people without a photo really fast. I don't put a photo on there but I have A LOT of clients who use dating sites and frankly don't want to be harassed by them which is what would happen if my picture was up there. I do mention that I will e-mail a photo but frankly if that is the absolute first and only thing a person says to me (I want to see your picture) I will delete their message and not give them another look too.

Really CC? For me anyway I need to see some kind of attraction and then I read their profile

[causingchaos]

Really CC? For me anyway I need to see some kind of attraction and then I read their profile

I'd rather not have clients with really bad boundary issues up in my personal business and if the sacrifice I have to make is people who don't want to even so much as have a conversation until they see a picture it's likely not someone I'm that interested in in the first place. If someone writes a note and requests a picture I have absolutely no issue sending one (if they're not one of my clients who are easy to pick out of a crowd there). But if I get some random e-mail demand saying to send a picture with absolutely no more substance attached to a profile that says little more than than they like to drink beer and ATV chances are I'm not going to send a picture and delete the request without a second thought.

The problem for me as a professional in a very small community is I have to dance around these boundary issues and such which makes dating in day to day life extremely difficult even in person as everyone is related to someone else. It becomes as big if not a bigger issue online. So for me to keep some degree of anonymity is more important to me than finding someone who is going to judge me based solely on my looks.

[jucamer]

I'd rather not have clients with really bad boundary issues up in my personal business and if the sacrifice I have to make is people who don't want to even so much as have a conversation until they see a picture it's likely not someone I'm that interested in in the first place. If someone writes a note and requests a picture I have absolutely no issue sending one (if they're not one of my clients who are easy to pick out of a crowd there). But if I get some random e-mail demand saying to send a picture with absolutely no more substance attached to a profile that says little more than than they like to drink beer and ATV chances are I'm not going to send a picture and delete the request without a second thought.

The problem for me as a professional in a very small community is I have to dance around these boundary issues and such which makes dating in day to day life extremely difficult even in person as everyone is related to someone else. It becomes as big if not a bigger issue online. So for me to keep some degree of anonymity is more important to me than finding someone who is going to judge me based solely on my looks.

OK, that I can understand. I'm sure there are people on the sites who have someone's elses photo up as their own too - so you really never know do you?

[Critical]

I really do try to keep an open mind but seriously .....I just got matched with a guy who spelled the word "the" wrong in his profile. I'm not kidding. Not a typo. Again and again (like 10 times minimum) "th" instead of t-h-e. Holy crap.

[SpringMaiden27]

I stopped using the online sites when I found a client, and also my MARRIED W/4 KIDS brother (he claimed he was single w/no kids) in the profiles in my area. Don't want my personal & professional lives to overlap. Definitely don't want to deal with liars.

I do know three friends who've found their spouses online. Two marriages are working really well, and the third is divorced. The third hubby lied about everything, and then once they were married immediatley started trolling the sites for more women!

Online dating used to be rather innocent, but now it seems to be just a big game.

[JohnnyK]

Yeah I really don't know if I want to try it anymore. Confidence in any success is incredibly low. From what I notice a lot of website communities are nothing but a popularity contest. People everyone knows are well liked and "noobs" who just recently joined and haven't even had the chance to talk to anybody yet get shunned. Why do I even bother?

[just1paul]

Me too PG - too old for this crap. Most of the guys in my age bracket list their ages at least 10 years youngers than they are - why lie?? Everything comes out in the wash - I hate liars .

One tip - don't talk to anyone without a photo! Years ago a guy without a picture contacted me, he lived nearby and we seemed to have a good e-mail rapor. He said he just put his profile up and he would be posting his photo soon. Call me mean, terrible, whatever when I found out the guy was a dwarf - that was the end of talking to anyone without seeing a photo first....

Not mean - just preference - I agree about the picture.

[Lizard]

No profile picture sometimes or often means "married" person trying to fool around.

If you do not have a picture, you might not get responses because people think you are a married person. And if you do put your picture you will get responses from the universe which includes freaks and such.

Even the most innocent looking of men can be online Romeos looking to boost their self esteem through sex......and not notify who ever.

Be kind to yourself and do not get physically involved if you use the site. I think I would put a statement in there somewhere that you believe it takes months to get to know someone and that a platonic relationship will help both of you.

Good luck! I know there are plenty of funny, interesting people, in here. Be good to yourself.

[Lizard]

I really do try to keep an open mind but seriously .....I just got matched with a guy who spelled the word "the" wrong in his profile. I'm not kidding. Not a typo. Again and again (like 10 times minimum) "th" instead of t-h-e. Holy crap.

Exactly what one of my highschool chums said. I told her everyone just wants to be loved. They do not say that they want to love someone. I think that if you find someone a lot like yourself you are ok. And if someone is looking for someone to cure their deficiencies they are truly always at a deficit.

Open mindedness is better saved for other things.

[PWS]

Really? An online hookup just to save money on a hotel? Now *there's* a keeper!

Well, it wasn't just the money, he does like the "benefits" as well! I think it helps that he's looking for women in their 50's (see some of the comments above about the scant pickings since most want younger women), plus he's well educated, has a decently paying "do gooder" job, is politically active (leftist), and is looking for educated women with similar leanings---plus he's pretty cute for a guy his age. Sounds pretty good on paper....and he's not opposed to longer term relationships, but he does like convenience.