Online Dating?

I haven't had any luck at all with online dating. They usually send me "matches" that are nowhere near what I specified. I'm a non-smoker and specified that I'm looking for a non-smoker yet they kept sending me smokers!! Most of the guys were way far away from me, even though I specified a closer range I was looking for. If things clicked, I'd want the person to live close enough that we could meet sometime. It doesn't help if they're several states away.

Some of the guys who contacted me were just creepy. Others seemed interested at first but then abruptly stopped writing to me.

Eharmony said they couldn't find any matches for me. Seriously??? I didn't think I was that difficult to match. Kind of disheartening if they can't find anybody.

I really wish I could find a boyfriend. It's sad always being alone. I'm afraid I'm going to die without ever having been in a relationship.

I've tried e-harmony a couple of times without any luck. Some funny stories, though. One guy had this great write-up and then when you got to the very last category - other interests- he lets on that he's a nudist. OK - maybe mention that closer to the top. One guy with a huge twirly black moustache wanted an open relationship... um, no thanks. Another e-mailed back and forth, talked on the phone, arranged to meet. Then, because he was on my e-mail list, facebook suggested I'd like to friend him. I clicked on his page and it said he was in a relationship and in his picture he had his arm around a woman. I messaged him, asking if his girlfriend knew he was soliciting women. Never heard from him again.

Both my kids met their significant others on line...as have a lot of their friends. One used a very subgenre specific site, but the other used eharmony... they are now married with a kid. I even have friends my age who've found people through dating sites, although there were sometimes problems (e.g., one Jdate match on opposite coasts, where one had a job she couldn't leave and the other lived in a house that he would lose if he didn't live in it at least 6 mo. a year). On the other hand, I had a cousin who married a woman he met on a Christian widows/widowers site...and they are now divorced...but she moved across the country with a teenager from a city to a tiny rural town after barely having met, and he had two younger kids who were not happy about the remarriage... so.....see advice above about taking your time.
On the other hand, I have a male "friend" in his 60's who dates women in their 50's he meets on match.com...with no intention of long term relationships...just one or three night stands in towns he plans to visit for other reasons. Cheaper than hotels I guess. AND he doesn't use "protection" despite all my warnings. Sooo again, downsides.

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Originally Posted by PWS

...On the other hand, I have a male "friend" in his 60's who dates women in their 50's he meets on match.com...with no intention of long term relationships...just one or three night stands in towns he plans to visit for other reasons. Cheaper than hotels I guess...

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Really? An online hookup just to save money on a hotel? Now *there's* a keeper!

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Originally Posted by Ellen

Really? An online hookup just to save money on a hotel? Now *there's* a keeper!

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It's definitely one I've never heard of before! Pretty ballsy, if you ask me. I hope he gets taken down by some scorned woman. He'd definitely deserve it!

I've done online dating on and off and have had a few relationships, although none that lasted. It's definitely hit and miss. I found that on match.com, it was more about hook-ups. I got emails from guys who were married. I also got emails from men who were old enough to be my father or who said they were maybe 42, but looked 62 in their pictures! Like a bit of black hair color was going to cover up the receding hairline and the jowls. :ohno I've had guys get a little stalkerish after a few emails and I've had a few not take rejection well, but there haven't been any really scary incidents. One guy was on disability and his profile talked all about how he wanted to find a woman who was a registered nurse. You know, so he can sleep with his nurse and get free in-home care. I couldn't figure out what it was about my profile that made him think I'd be down with that.

I had a few bad dates - one guy announced that he had food poisoning and then said he'd applied for a training program in Canada, where he would live at least half of the month for the next 2 years. Another was just so deadly dull that, if I had been a lesser woman, I would have excused myself to go to the restroom and then snuck out the back door! :lol

Eharmony is okay, although it's expensive and I can't afford it right now. That whole "review your matches for free" thing is bunk. You can't see their pictures which, I'm sorry, is important. I'm not looking for Brad Pitt, but I have to like what the guy looks like.

Pictures do tell you a lot about a person, by what they show and what they don't. I went out with a guy who looked nice in his pictures, but didn't have any of himself smiling. I found out why when I met him. Aside from the horrendous coffee breath (I mean, seriously, dude. It's a first date. Pop a breath mint. Better yet, brush your teeth!), this guy's teeth were jacked up. I read something the other day that described it perfectly: He could eat an ear of corn through a picket fence. It was not pretty. I hate to be superficial, but it totally turned me off.

I try not to be cynical about online dating, but it's hard. Men seem to always want to date much younger. I'm 43, yes. But I'm a young looking 43. Many people assume I'm in my 30's. I'm not really attracted to older men, so dating a 58 year old just holds no interest for me. Guys my age seem to be interested in 27 year olds. :mmm

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Originally Posted by Critical

Men seem to always want to date much younger. I'm 43, yes. But I'm a young looking 43. Many people assume I'm in my 30's. I'm not really attracted to older men, so dating a 58 year old just holds no interest for me. Guys my age seem to be interested in 27 year olds. :mmm

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This seems to be an issue especially after you turn 50, and not just on dating sites.
I've always had a nagging interest in online dating, but never been willing to sign up. A friend did & I checked a few guys out from her login. First off, an awful lot of them seem to have on hats & sunglasses & beards. What are they, in the witness protection program?
Also the profiles overwhelmingly seem to want noticably younger women. eg: 55 year old man interested in women 18-40.
The only ones interested in women over 50 are elderly, or really look it. Either that or those booty call types. They'll take anyone. No thanks!
I can't see shelling out my hard earned money for no one I'm interested in.
Also, I live in an area with a lot of distance between small towns & small cities. Not a lot of pickin's nearby.

I'm not in this area very often, but OMG who dragged up this old thread? LOL

:whistle

I haven't done much on line dating, I think I might be a bit shallow because it just doesn't work for me. I do know several people who have done well with it, but under very different circumstances. One dating site had an option for events. Users of the site, created them, hosted parties or other events. So, it was much easier to meet people in a more natural situation. I don't know of anyone who has met strictly doing the on line thing, but have certainly read of many instances where it does work.

Me. :lol

Since I last posted here nothing much happened with my online dating plans.

A photo is important, probably. That and an interesting profile. Maybe even some experience. However I've got neither.

I think the key with the online profile is to tell people who you are. For instance, on eharmony, one of the profile sections is about what you do in your spare time. I can't tell you how many men put things like "Going out, having fun, eating good food..." WTH does that mean? Going out where? Having fun doing what? What constitutes good food?

If your profile doesn't give a hint at who you are, most people will just move on to the next. After any years of doing online dating on and off, I can tell you that pretty much every man describes himself as down-to-earth. Funny and intelligent are two other common ones. Don't tell me you're smart and funny, SHOW ME.

I'm not expecting a guy to be a freaking Rhodes Scholar movie star, but I've encountered so many sad sacks or guys who can't be bothered to even fill out the profile. They do the bare minimum, which tells me how much they care about the process. You don't have to LIE in your profile, but at least put a positive spin on yourself. I read a profile once where the guy literally said that he spent most of his free time alone because no one wanted to spend it with him. I'm not kidding.

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Originally Posted by Critical

I read a profile once where the guy literally said that he spent most of his free time alone because no one wanted to spend it with him. I'm not kidding.

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Crit, I'm shocked you didn't jump all over this one. He sounds like a keeper! :lol

I hated online dating, and have several horror stories to go with it. Too many liars, one-night-stand guys, and just general creepers/stalkers. And let's not get into the ones with the poor personal hygiene - soap, running water, and toothpaste won't kill you, guys. I promise. Also the creepy old men who were hunting for young things. Ugh.

But for those who want to try online dating, be honest. Post a picture, and write specifics about yourself, think about what makes you different/special and tell others. Crit's right, all those generic profiles - "I like going out to eat, I like having fun" - are boring. I used to skip them all. Stand out from the crowd!

Of course, I gave up on online dating years ago, after one guy showed up smelling like sewage. I kid you not, I had to spend my time during dinner trying not to gag. :lol